


Dirty Secrets (And The Trouble They Cause)

by brian_fan_4eva



Category: Backstreet Boys, NSYNC
Genre: F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 01:34:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 44,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1247815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brian_fan_4eva/pseuds/brian_fan_4eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Secrets. Everybody has one, some more dark than others. But for Jessa Adams, secrets are something best left in the dark, especially when it comes to her love life and..... Lance Bass? Meet Nick Carter, whose life is anything but secret. When his relationship with Paris Hilton goes sour, he vows to stay single forever. But when he runs into a girl he's sworn he's met before, all sorts of feelings get thrown into the mix. Where will Jessa end up in the mix? How will things end? Ride along the crazy roller coaster of love as Jessa goes from heartbreak to heartache in this crazy tale of relationships, pop stars and an insane amount of sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story is up at Absolute Chaos under my same pen name as well as another companion story on an N*Sync site under another pen name that was written way back in the early 2000's. There are some very vivid sex scenes in some of the chapters, and I take total creative responsibility for them as they were written while high on both a cold medication and seeing BSB's In A World Like This tour in August 2013 (Nick thrusting on stage is what fueled it)....so yeah...I will post in chapter or note warnings when those chapters show up so people aren't surprised. Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading this and feel free to leave feedback or kudos. I always appreciate my readers and I love feedback!

Present day, 2005

_Dear Lance Bass:_

_I am in love with you….have been for over 6 years now.  Every time I see your face, or hear your voice, I feel tingly warmth from the top of my head to the tip of my toes.  I don’t know why I have that feeling, I just do.  Thank you for making the music you do, God bless you in everything you do.  If we meet someday, don’t be scared of me…I’m just a grateful fan now and forever.  My feelings of love?  Maybe they’re just a celebrity crush, but I doubt it.  After all, you do a very good job of singing and entertaining; along with managing other artists…keep up the great job.  I hope to meet you someday, and not because of a concert or anything like that…and maybe get to know each other, even if it’s just a few minutes._

_Sincerely, Jessa.  (fan forever)_

Jessa Adams sighed and let her head drop to the desk.  How in the world was she going to be able to meet her dream date?  The note she was writing was going to be put up on her website along with a letter to the 5 members of the former group *N Sync.  Lifting her head, she continued to write the note, remembering to put that it was just her letting off some steam so she could get on with her life.  For as long as she could remember, she’d been practically obsessed with Lance.

No, obsessed wasn’t the word…completely, totally in love with, crazy about, can’t live without thinking about for 2 seconds obsessed.  That’s what she was.  Saving her work, she logged off the internet and decided to get her mind off of emailing him personally to tell him.  He got that all the time, she surmised.

Lance Bass turned on the computer, and checked his email.  He’d been gone for over a week, and thankfully, was finally back home in LA.  He’d moved from Orlando to LA to get away from being recognized continuously, and he also needed to get away from the obsessed fans that’d found out his address and haunted his place constantly.  Noticing a new email from a person he didn't know, but had his address, he checked it out:

_Hey Bass:  New id.  Don’t worry.  Listen, since I’m writing this instead of calling…I saw a letter to you on a gal’s website that I didn't know I had anymore…hell, still didn't know anyone wrote fan fiction about us anymore either.  Gotta go…Busta needs a bath and I need to eat.  CALL me.  Chris._

Lance sighed, and saved the email.  He’d check it out later.  First, he had to do some business and then he could play around on the net.  Then he’d check out that letter that Chris had mentioned.  When he finally got back to Chris’s email, and checked out the letter, he smiled.  She hadn't left a last name, and he somehow suspected that her first name wasn't the same either.  He printed out the page, and put it away, thinking in a few years, it would come in handy if he wasn't back on the stage performing.

 “Hey Lance!”  A male voice called from outside his office door in his house.  “Yo man, where you at?”

 “In here JC.”  Lance called to his former band mate.  “Just checking an email from Chris.”

 “Oh, that fan letter?”  JC grinned, stepping up to the desk.  “I’ll tell you now, you can check out her profile on the net.  Her real name is Jessa Lynn Adams.  Lives in Omaha, by herself, apparently single for quite some time, and has two cats, one is named after you.”

 Lance shook his head.  “How in the world do you know…never mind, I don’t want to know.”

 “All I did was talk to her.  You really should too.  I mean, she’s a nice gal, on the net.  Not bad looking either.”  JC added.  “Here, she should be on right now, if you want to know.”

 Lance sighed.  “I suppose.”  Secretly, he wondered what kind of woman would speak so openly about herself on the net.  He got up to let JC have his chair to chat with this Jessa.

 “See…she’s on right now.  Let me chat with her.  Anything you wana know?”  JC couldn't resist teasing Lance about this fan that was still crushing badly on him after several years.

 “No, that’s okay.”  Lance replied.  “Does she know who you are?”  He asked.

“Well, kind of sort of.  I told her my name was Josh, and that I’m a professional entertaining singer.”  JC replied, typing something into the chat box.  “I didn't tell her my last name, but I think she gets who I am.”

 Lance waited for JC to technically introduce him to her.  “So, basically, talk to her like a normal person, who really doesn't know who you are, and everything will be fine.”  He said.

“Yeah.  I told her that your name is James, or Jimmy for short, and that you’re a friend of mine.”  JC told him.  “So, in all reality, she has no clue that you really are you.”

“And how are you so sure that she is who she says she is.”  Lance pointed out.

JC rolled his eyes.  “Private Investigator, duh.”  JC typed something in.  “Okay, I gave her your IM address so that way she knows who you are, but she’s gonna get off to work on something in her words.  Give her about a couple of hours, she’ll be back online.”  JC chuckled.

“How’s that?”  Lance had to know.  This woman was actually starting to intrigue him.

“She can’t stay away from her computer.  For some reason, she lives and breathes her website, and clubs and stories.”  JC raised an eyebrow.

Lance shrugged.  “At some point in time, everyone lives and breathes a computer.” 

“Dude, did I tell you that you need to get out more?”  JC grinned.  “It’s not like anyone will recognize you now since you dyed you’re hair back to a light brown.”

 Lance self-consciously ran a hand through his short light brown hair.  He’d let the blonde go out about a month before, thinking he needed a change from his old teenybopper type image.  “True, but I’m still careful.”

 JC grinned.  “I have an idea.  You got any major plans for about a week?”  He asked.

Lance thought for a second.  “No, why?” 

“Because we are taking a little trip.”  JC grinned.

Lance groaned.  “Dude, I am not going to go surprise her.  If that’s what you’re thinking, no way.  She could be crazy!”

JC shook his head.  “I can’t believe you.  How long have you been single?  3 years?  You obviously have a gal who wants to know you for you and not because you’re famous!”

“I'm not going over that again!”  Lance wanted to leave.  “Can we please just drop the subject?”

JC stood up.  “Fine then.  Besides that, I was just gonna suggest that Joey’s in London, finishing up the last month of Rent.  I think it’s time we do another album, that’s what I was gonna suggest.”

Lance stopped in his tracks to get a paper.  “Another album?  Will Justin commit if the rest of us do?”

“I don’t know.”  JC shrugged.  “That’s why I was suggesting that we go see Joey.  Chris wants another go round, and I do too.”

Lance grinned.  “Yeah, thanks to Janet Jackson, you’re album and solo thing didn't go very well, did it?”

“Damn straight.”  JC flicked a stray hair from his forehead.  “What about you?”

Lance hesitated.  “I don’t know, Jace.  I’d have to think about it.  I do have other projects going on at the moment.”

 “Don’t think on it too long.  I hear Backstreet is doing another album.  We need to come back for our fans who need us.”  On that note, JC went to walk out the door.  “Oh, and don’t forget to talk to Jessa.  Even if you two just become friends online, don’t get so stressed out over women.”

Lance sighed and sat down in the chair.  Another *N Sync album?  He thought long and hard about that idea. 


	2. Chapter 1

Orlando, Florida-Summer 2006

“Yo! Adams! Phone call for you!” A voice called down the hallway from where Jessa was waiting for a client. “They’ll wait till you’re done with your client.”  
Jessa sighed softly as the client came out of the massage room. Jessa had gotten her massage therapy license and had moved to Orlando after graduation in hopes to get a good job where she could go places. After she finished telling the client to come back in 2 weeks, she walked over to the phone and picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

“Hey Jessa. It’s Jace. Was wondering what you were up to tonight?” The familiar voice washed over Jessa as her shoulders slumped in relief. 

She’d been afraid it was another one of those weird calls where someone would ask for her, then not say a word when she answered and hang up.“Um, I’m not sure. I don’t get off work till 7 though.” Jessa answered thoughtfully.

“Well make sure to dress nicely, tonight we celebrate!” The excitement in Josh’s voice made Jessa laugh. 

“Alright Jace, what are we celebrating?” The words had more excitement than she realized after saying them. How long had it been since she’d had a fun night out?

“I finished my second solo album, duh! Have you been in la-la land the past 6 months?” Josh teased her. “Lance will be there too, so don’t say no.”

Jessa hesitated. The past year and a half had seemed almost like someone was writing a fan fiction tale of her life since JC Chasez had started talking to her. Her celebrity crush on Lance had only intensified the first time she had talked to him in person but it only seemed like Lance was interested in her as a friend.

Josh’s voice broke her out of her revere. “Common Jes…please?” He pleaded over the phone. 

Jessa smiled. “Oh ok, I’ll celebrate with you.” She chuckled as Josh cheered. 

After confirming a time he would pick her up, Jessa went along her day with clients, her mind preoccupied with thoughts of the recent past, and worries about what would happen in the future.  
The trouble was Jessa was unsure about a whole lot of things. Back when JC had first chatted with her, and then revealed himself with Lance in tow, on a surprise visit when Jessa had graduated college, her heart had been troubled. She’d confessed her celebrity crush for Lance back on her old fan fiction website, and she’d know JC had seen it because he had been honest in why he had contacted her. Lance, on the other hand, had not said a word.  


Jessa Adams was not one of those infamously skinny girls who could wear a potato sack and still look stunning. Yet she never really figured out why certain guys were attracted to her, and yet the ones she would be attracted to had no interest in her romantically. Jessa knew in her head that she was being childish and that she should move on from her little crush, but every time she thought about that, her heart would hurt a little. All too soon it was time for cleanup and the last bit of laundry. Jessa hated doing laundry, but it came with the trade.

JC sighed at Lance. “Come on man. Just this once?” He pleaded with the younger man. Since the group had gone on hiatus, Lance had become increasingly distant from the others. JC wasn’t sure if it was because Justin was also distancing himself from the group, or if there were other troubles catching Lance in a tangle.

“JC I really don’t want to go out tonight.” Lance sighed. “It’s not that I don’t like Jessa, I just don’t want a million questions thrown at me.”

JC groaned. “How do you think I feel? Every time I turn around someone’s asking if the group broke up or if we’re just taking a big break to make another record-shattering album.” He grabbed Lance’s shoulders and turned him to stare straight into the other man’s deep green eyes. “Besides that, Jessa likes you. You should at least be nice to her.”

Lance sighed again and nodded at JC. Internally he was unsure about anything related to Jessa. In fact, his internal struggles with his own sexuality had been putting him into an unusual seclusion away from his band mates and friends and he was considering a therapist to help himself come to terms with himself.

Meanwhile in LA—

“We’re done!’ A voice screamed in the mansion.

“But Nicky….” A second voice pleaded, this one female.

Inside the sprawling mansion, Nick Carter and Paris Hilton stood across from each other, a couch separating Nick from Paris. His baby blue eyes were filled with pain while her eyes shown sheathed anger. “I’m dead serious this time Paris. I’m tired of the lies and the drug use. We’re done.” He grabbed the bags lying at his feet and turned.

“But I LOVE you!” Paris screamed. 

“No, you love cocaine more than you ever liked me.” Nick’s voice was quiet with determination. He kept his back to Paris as he started for the door. “Don’t ever contact me again.” Paris flung herself towards Nick’s retreating back, completely forgetting the couch that had separated them, and promptly slammed into it as she heard the door close with a loud thump.

2 days later, LA

“Reports show you were at her house the day before she arrived at her manager’s office with these bruises Nick. Care to add anything else to the story?” A reporter shoved a recorder towards Nick.

“Look man, I didn’t touch her.” Nick said firmly. “Whatever she may say, I would never touch a woman in that fashion.”Nick’s bodyguard shoved himself between the other reporters and Nick as he headed into LAX for his flight home to Florida. He glanced around as he checked into his flight, his bodyguard trying to remain inconspicuous. On the flight, Nick lost himself in his iPod music, attempting to drown out the thoughts that kept creeping into his mind. 

Sighing, Nick slouched down in his first class seat as the plane slowly crept over the lower 48 states back to Florida. He had never been so glad to get away from such a volatile relationship. After his own health problems, he thought he could help Paris, but the woman was still stubbornly addicted to her drugs and partying every night. Nick had always vowed never to make the same mistake twice, but unfortunately his heart had won out over logic and he’d made the mistake of dating Paris more than once. This time, he hardened his heart against the petite blond heiress and vowed to himself that instead of looking for someone to love; he would concentrate on his health. 

The problems had started when he’d woken up that morning to pack for his flight back to Florida, with a news flash on the entertainment report that Paris had been seen leaving a club with Nick a few days prior, and then a picture of her after he’d walked out of her life a second time, this time with bruises along her arms. Nick had shaken it off as her trying to convince him to come back by threatening to show he was a bit violent, he’d continued his packing and had completely forgotten about the pictures until the scene at the airport.

The matter didn’t stop there either. Once Nick arrived back in Orlando, the manger for Backstreet Boys, Johnny Wright, had been waiting for him at the arrivals gate, the lawyer for Jive in tow. After Nick had given his statement to the lawyer, and the matter settled with Paris stating she would never press charges against Nick, and agreed that he really hadn’t been the culprit, Nick settled back into a familiar routine with his fellow band mates. Backstreet Boys had been planning on making their sixth studio album, this time, without band mate Kevin Richardson. Nick had been saddened by this, but along with the others, had agreed it was for the best. Kevin had told them quietly that he and his wife were expecting their first child together, and Kevin didn’t want to miss the first few years of his first child’s life.

“Hey Frack!” Brian Littrell popped his head into the studio room where they were writing for the new album. “Time for some food!”

Howie Dorough and AJ McLean groaned as the old nickname popped out of Brian’s mouth. Nick laughed. “Man I haven’t heard that one in ages!”

They all abandoned their work, and made their way out of the studio into the hallways of Jive Records. Things had calmed down considerably in the record company since their label mates *N’Sync had gone on a hiatus, though there were rumors that Justin Timberlake had been dissatisfied with how the band was going and decided to permanently branch out on his own, thus making their hiatus an unofficial breakup of the group. 

“So I heard the other day that JC Chasez finally finished his new solo record.” AJ said as they gathered in front of the elevators.

“So? Didn’t his songs get busted after that fiasco with the Super Bowl?” Howie asked dismissively. “Not that he’s got a bad batch of songs, but I would have laid low after that.”

“Man, sounds to me like he’s got an inconsiderate band mate.” Nick pointed out as one of the elevators dinged as it reached their floor. “I’d be chewing his butt out for that.”

As the elevator doors opened, the forms of 3 people could be seen inside. Nick blinked as JC and Lance came out of the elevator, a tall petite dark haired girl trailing behind them looking bored out of her mind.

“Hey guys what’s up?” JC stopped to greet them.

“Hey man, heard you finished the album!” Brian piped up. “Congrats.”

JC grinned. “Thanks Brian. Have you seen Johnny today?”

Howie and AJ looked at each other as Brian replied. “Yeah, he should be in his office last I saw. You’ll have to ask Nancy though, I don’t know if he’s got anything going on today. It’s been pretty quite around here considering.” He shrugged.

Nick lost interest in the conversation as he noticed the girl with them fiddling around with her cell phone. He sized her up and wondered if she was dating JC or not. He smiled in appreciation as her blue-green eyes snapped up as she was pulled forward by JC.

“Before I forget, guys this is one of my friends, Jessa Adams. Girl meet the Backstreet Boys.” JC grinned.

Jessa smiled shyly at each guy as she shook hands and said hello. Nick’s hand lingered on her hand for a second longer as he stared into her eyes. “So Jessa, how in the world do you know this knuckle head?” He asked. 

JC jumped in before she could answer. “She’s a massage therapist. Went to her after a tour date one day to get the kinks out and decided to keep in touch, and now that she’s living down here, I figured she’d be better off as a tour therapist.”

Nick noticed that Lance seemed a bit concerned that he and Jessa had held hands longer than the others. She awkwardly took her hand back, smacking JC in the process. “You know he did ask me, not you.” She scolded him in a light tone.

JC grinned sheepishly. “Sorry Jes.”

They made their goodbyes and Nick and the others went on their way.


	3. Chapter 2

Lance let out a visible sigh of relief once the Boys were gone. “Man that was weird.”

JC shrugged. “Feels weird to be talking to them as normal people instead of being pitted as rivals I guess.” He rubbed the shoulder Jessa smacked.

Jessa sighed as they walked toward Johnny’s office. JC was anxious to start promoting his title track from his album and had insisted both Jessa and Lance to come along. She stole a sideways glance at Lance as they waited for Johnny. His deep green eyes seemed troubled and she was pretty sure something was bothering him internally.

JC noticed Jessa eyeing Lance and groaned internally. ‘They just need to get their feelings out and admit things.’ He thought. Ever since the night JC celebrated his second album being finished, Lance and Jessa had been both distant and equally awkward around each other.

After about 15 minutes, JC couldn’t stand it and stood up and stretched. “Lance, walk with me.” He said.

Lance’s head snapped up as JC spoke. He glanced quickly over at Jessa, who had pulled headphones out and was listening to something on her iPod, her dark brown hair shading her face as she nodded silently to the beat of whatever she was listening to. “Alright. What do you want to talk about?” He asked once they were out of earshot of Jessa.

JC turned and stared at Lance. “Jessa.” He sighed as Lance rolled his eyes. “Are you even interested in her?”

Lance walked over to a window gazing out over the Orlando landscape. “I don’t know JC. I have some things I want to work out with myself.”

JC crossed his arms. “Well whatever it is, it’s affecting you pretty badly. I mean, you barely have said 2 words to the poor girl the entire time we’ve been here.”

Lance turned and looked at JC. “Look, I don’t want to be all friendly and nice and get her hopes up that something might happen between us. I sometimes wonder if  you have feelings for her Joshua, with the way you keep bringing her around.”

JC’s eyes widened. “Is that why you have been distant?” He asked softly.

“Maybe.” Lance groaned internally. His therapist had told him not to lie to himself but he was afraid he was going to do it again soon. “It actually kinda feels like I’m the third wheel because every time we hang out, you have to invite her.” Lance pointed out.

JC shook his head. “No way man. I have no romantic feelings for her, whatsoever. I want to protect her like a little sister since she’s down here without family. Besides, I know she has a crush on you.”

Lance snorted. “Right…you aren’t going to bring that thing up from the internet are you?” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter anymore anyway. I don’t know what I want do with my life since I honestly don’t think the group is going to get back together anytime soon, and you are busy with solo work. And that is weighing heavily on my mind. I don’t want to start a relationship with anyone right now until I have my career figured out.”

JC nodded, the tension between them slowly melting away. “Figure it out man. I still say you’d be good as a manager.”

Lance nodded. “It’s probably top on my list.”“JC, Lance, Johnny’s ready for you.” Nancy’s voice called from the hallway.

_ Fall 2006 _

“Hey let’s have a toast for the new members of Lance’s management company!” JC grinned at his friend as they gathered around the two new people who Lance would be managing their music careers. Other members of Jive were at the BBQ including Chris Kirkpatrick and Joey Fatone. Joey had flown from New York where he had been working on a Broadway show. The only noted former member missing was Justin, whom no one had much contact with.

Jessa sighed as she sat away from the main group of people. It had been 3 months since Lance had apologized to her for being so distant and they had actually struck up an unusual sort of relationship. JC had even backed off from insisting on the three of them hanging out; instead he was focusing more on what he wanted for the next step of his career. Thanks to the fiasco with Justin, JC’s album promotions had been stalled because of the fallout.

 She poked around on her cell phone, wishing at that moment she was anywhere but at the BBQ where it seemed everyone wanted to drink and toast constantly to the new charges under Lance. It wasn’t that she was unsociable; she was uncomfortably around so many people who had known Lance and the other guys for a considerably much longer time than she had.“Don’t look so down sweetheart.” A slightly familiar male voice spoke next to her. “I know Lance is the star of the show, but things will calm down soon.” The voice belonged to Darren, one of the old choreographers for *N’Sync.

“Oh, I just feel slightly out of place.” She responded softly.

Darren snorted. “Really? You? Come on now, you’re teasing me.” He eyed her. “Honestly I’m surprised we aren’t toasting congratulations towards you and that hot mess of a southern boy yet.”

Jessa’s eyes widened. “Hot what of a what?”

Darren grinned. “Oh come on, I wouldn’t be surprised honey. I am gay you know.” He said. “Lance is very hot and oh so easy on the eyes.” He said conspiratorially. “I’m glad he got his sexuality straightened out though. The fan rumors plus the one girlfriend he’d ever had during the band days were pretty rough on him.”

Jessa look at Darren. She’d know there was something off about him, but gay? Not that she had a problem with that, but the fact he had had eyes for Lance was something shocking. “How bad were the rumors?” She’d tried to stay away from gossip about the group when they’d been out touring and never thought anything of the ideas that people thought Lance was gay.

“Oh you know, how he was secretly gay, or secretly dating one of the stage guys or other male bodies associated with the tours.” Darren leaned in as if to gossip without anyone overhearing him. “I mean, I can’t blame the rumors. He did experiment a bit on the second album’s tour with a couple of discretely gay stage hands but nothing got scandalized thankfully.”

Jessa swiveled her head towards the tall blonde. Her heart felt like it was being torn in half. Lance was possibly gay? Her mind couldn’t wrap itself around that fact. “You’ll have to excuse me for a moment, Darren.” She said steadily, standing up as if nothing was wrong. “Nature calls.” She smiled at the young man and headed off towards the complex that Jive owned.


	4. Chapter 3

“Yo man! Where’s that cute dark haired chick you been hanging out with at?” A semi-drunk studio hand slapped Lance across the back. The BBQ had gone on much longer than he’d anticipated and the last Lance had seen of Jessa, she’d been talking with Darren.

Lance stood up straight and glanced around what remained of the people who’d come to celebrate Lance deciding to run a management company. His shoulders tightened when he didn’t spy her tall figure anywhere among the people. “She’s hot man!” The studio hand continued when Lance didn’t answer.

Lance gritted his teeth. He had a feeling that whatever her and Darren had talked about, it had been about the second album tour. He patted the guy on the shoulder. “Sorry man, but she’s got a boyfriend.” He said before moving away.  He wove through the remaining people, stopping when he saw Chris’s familiar head. “Hey did you talk to Jessa earlier?” Lance asked. 

“No, why?” Chris looked up at him, confused. “Jessa was the dark haired chick right?”

“Yeah. I can’t seem to find her.” Lance replied.

“Try calling her cell.” Chris offered helpfully.

Lance smiled and nodded at his friend. “Thanks man. Forgot totally bout that.” He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and walked towards the Jive complex to get more privacy. Dialing her number, he sighed as it went straight to voicemail. That was unusual in itself. Lance dialed again and got her voicemail a second time. Frustrated and a bit worried, Lance dialed JC’s number in hopes that he would answer and know where Jessa went.

“Yo.” JC’s familiar voice said over the phone.

“Hey, Jessa’s not at the BBQ with you is she?” Lance asked.

“No. She left awhile ago. Said something about having an early morning shift at the spa.” JC replied, confusion in his voice. “Did something happen?”

“No, she didn’t say anything to me about leaving.” Lance replied, relief in his voice. “I was kind of worried when I didn’t see her.”

“That is odd. I wonder what happened.” JC said thoughtfully. “I’ll try giving her a call.”

"I tried twice and both times it went to voicemail.” He said.

“Maybe she’s already asleep?” JC offered. “You’re worried over nothing I bet. She is a bit shy in big crowds.”

Lance sighed. “Yeah, that’s probably it, and with all the people here she probably didn’t want to intrude and tell me she was leaving.”

After hanging up with JC, Lance made his goodbyes and headed to his house. As he slumped in his car, something snapped into place. He’d been worried about Jessa’s safety after leaving, not worried that she’d left without saying anything to him. Shaking his head, with a gut twisting feeling in his stomach, Lance knew without a doubt what was going on with him. And he knew Jessa would be devastated. 

Jessa’s head pounded as phone went off for the umpteenth time that morning. She left the BBQ the day before and had spend most of the night searching rumors on Lance. Her mind and heart were sore with grief and heartbreak. Many of the rumors had people speculating that he was gay, why he hadn’t dated any high profile celebrity since he became famous, no previous girlfriends from high school, nothing about him dating at all. Jessa looked at the caller id and pushed the ignore button. Her heart had no desire to speak to Lance, not after what Darren had told her. Lance hung up the phone and sighed. He wanted to tell Jessa personally before it got out to the media about his sexual orientation. He grabbed his car keys and jacket before heading out of the door, cell phone dialed as he tried to reach her again.

“Jessa, open up.” JC’s voice called through the door as he knocked on her door. “Come on, I need to talk to you!” He glanced over at Lance, glad that the man had finally worked through whatever had been bothering him the last few months.

“Go away Josh, I know he’s out there with you and I have no desire to speak with either of you right now.” Her voice sounded through the door, laden with sadness.

“This is stupid!” JC shouted, then instantly regretting it. “Come on Jessa, please. I hate being dragged into this!”After another 10 minutes of knocking, the door finally opened. Jessa stared at them both, a hurt look in her eyes.

“Fine. Come in.” She said turning away. JC and Lance exchanged looks.

“Did something happen?” JC asked immediately, seeing the state of her house. A few pillows were flung about the living room as if in anger.

“No.” Jessa replied shortly, turning and crossing her arms. “Speak what you need to say.” She said.

JC almost flinched away at the pain in her eyes that seemed to be directed….towards Lance? JC shot a glance at his friend, who slumped down in front of Jessa.

“I am so so sorry.” Lance said softly to Jessa, JC all but forgotten. “Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think to hurt you. I was so confused and unsure and last night I realized something that I’d been denying all along.” JC glanced at Jessa as Lance spoke. The look on her face made JC’s heart break as he saw tears slipping down her ashen face.

“I’m gay.” Lance finished.

_ A month later… _

“Thanks y’all have been an amazing crowd!!” Brian said as Backstreet closed out another awesome concert night in Minnesota. The 4 left the stage as the crowd of fans screamed out for them. The tour had been going well with no hiccups and no drama. The buses awaited them and Nick exhaustedly slumped into his bunk without a thought. It’d been close to 4 months since they had completed the album and went on tour. Nick slipped off to sleep as the bus started down the highway to their next concert destination, unaware that something was going down in the entertainment world as he slept.

“Hey Nick! Did you see the news this morning?” AJ clapped him on the back after they had checked into the hotel where they’d be staying at for a couple of days.

“No.” Nick grinned. “What, did the President give you a medal for being so badass?” Nick teased.

“No man.” AJ pulled him toward their common stage back room where a TV was on, and the volume up loud.

“Rumors have been put to rest…” The entertainment reporter stated as Nick drew closer. Nick glanced at AJ. “What are they talking about?” He asked.

“You’ll see.” AJ replied.

Nick spotted a picture of Lance Bass on the TV screen as they rounded the corner. His eyes widened in surprise as the picture looked to be Lance on the cover of People magazine with the headlines ‘Coming out’ splashed along the bottom. “Holy shit!”

Brian and Howie along with several other people were watching the screen. “I’m not surprised in the least.” One of the stage hands said as he shook his head. “Took him long enough to admit it.”

Nick thought back to the last time he’d seen Lance. The image of a dark haired girl standing near him flickered in Nick’s mind. “That poor girl.” He said, not realizing he’d spoken out loud.

“What girl?” Brian asked.

“Remember when we saw JC and Lance at Jive earlier this year?” Nick asked. “There was a dark haired girl with them.”

Howie nodded. “Wasn’t her name Jessa or something like that?”

Realization dawned on Brian’s face at the same time AJ spoke. “Yeah, she looked like she had the hots for Lance.”

Nick shook his head as the excitement over the news died down. He thought of the girl he’d met and if she was ok. There’d been something special in those blue-green eyes and he couldn’t help but think of them as he prepped for the concert.


	5. Chapter 4

_ Present day-2007 _

"Lance Bass's new book,  'Out of Sync' is out in stores tomorrow. Today we have the pleasure of talking with him on the eve of his first book." The reporter on the  TV screen smiled as the camera panned from her to a live feed of Lance, who was in his hometown of Biloxi Mississippi. "Lance, how does it feel now that the chronicles of your life are about to be revealed? Did you have any reservations about having this book come out?" The reporter asked.

Lance smiled softly. "I did have some reservations with my family and the book coming out detailing how I came to terms with my sexuality..."

The TV droned on in the background as Jessa continued to get her client list ready for the day. Her mind refused to dwell on the past as she worked. Lance's book was all anyone could talk about that day and it took all of her will not to break down in tears and leave work. Since that fateful day where Lance came out as gay and broke her heart, she'd refused to acknowledge that he even existed. It was like a part of her was on autopilot and the fog of the past year was like a bad dream. Jessa had severed all ties with Lance and JC after the whol e ordeal and ended up moving from Orlando and quitting her job at the spa. She had completely cut off all her old ties and was attempting to start anew.  The tiny little town in Florida that Jessa had moved to was perfect for her to try and mend her broken heart. Settled neatly into the eastern coast a few hours away from both Orlando and Miami, Vero Beach was a sleepy town, one that she knew neither JC nor Lance would ever manage to find her. Many older people populated the small town, and the spa she worked at was booked solid for several months at a time, ensuring that she’d have steady work.

The best part of this town? No night life. No hordes of guys to skip around, no college students out to get a massage before getting plastered. She sighed softly as she folded another sheet in between clients.

“Why the sad face missy?” A fiery redhead named Annabelle said as she dumped a load of dirty sheets into one of the open washers.

Jessa smiled as she glanced up from her folding. “Not sad, just…thoughtful I guess.” She said.

Annabelle Stevens was one of the few younger girls who were employed by the spa. She’d previously worked for a cruise company and had decided it was time to settle back on land. She was only a few months younger than Jessa and had also had a bad breakup in her past, one she lamented on sometimes when the client flow was slow. Jessa wasn’t sure if Annabelle secretly wished she could go back to her ex-boyfriend or was just sad that there were no young men around for her to get to know. “I am so sick of everyone talking about that boy bander.” Annabelle exclaimed suddenly.

Jessa raised an eyebrow. “Really, why’s that?” She asked.

“It’s no wonder the guy is gay. He looks gay for heaven’s sake!” Annabelle replied. “You can tell from a mile away before he ever came out that he was gay.”

Jessa frowned. ‘Had he looked gay?’ She thought to herself as she listened halfhearted to Annabelle ranting.

“You know what I mean? The guy probably never has had a girlfriend to save his life.” Annabelle’s rant continued. “JC is way hotter and I would sell my soul just to speak with him.” She chuckled as she folded another sheet.

“Jace is not that scary.  Just a bit over obsessive sometimes.” Jessa let the line slip out before she realized what she had said. She clamped her hand over her mouth in horror.

Annabelle snorted. “I don’t doubt that, but I bet he charges an armload…..” She glanced up and saw Jessa pale with her hand over her mouth. “You ok? You look like you’re going to throw up….”  Her eyes widened as she realized the flow of their conversation. “You…you know JC?”

A single tear slipped out as she nodded slowly, not trusting her voice at that moment. Thankfully another one of the older therapists came bustling in. “Hey, I guess we’re closing for the day. Nice storm coming in off the coast and most of the remaining clients called in to cancel for today.” She eyeballed Jessa. “You ok hun? You look like you swallowed a ghost.”

“I’m ok.” Jessa croaked out.

Annabelle grabbed Jessa and pulled her out of the laundry room, leaving the older woman. “Thanks for telling us Mary!” She called as she pulled Jessa over to the mailboxes where they kept all their client files for the day. “Once we close down, girlie, you and me are having a girl to girl talk.”

Nick sighed as he anchored in his boat off the pier of his private home in Vero Beach. The tour was on a much needed break and Nick had seized the chance to go home and hit the ocean. The storm clouds coming in signaled the end of his sailing for the day. It was time to settle down with a nice mug of tea and a good video game. Jumping down from the boat onto the pier, he settled into the familiar routine of checking anchor lines and rope points before heading into the house to shower.

“Awe man. Looks like I have to go out.” He exclaimed, seeing the empty box where he usually kept his tea. He snagged a light windbreaker and hat and headed out to his car.

Once in town, he hit up the local grocery store, which happened to carry his favorite brand of tea. Not too many people were shopping since there was a storm coming in, and Nick was glad. Some of the small town folk always lamented whenever he was in town that such a nice young boy should be in the big city enjoying his youth instead of being in this sleepy little town of retirees.

Nick didn’t have the heart to tell them he preferred their little town over the city. As he turned down the drink aisle, a short fiery redhead and a tall petite dark haired girl bustled past him. “Sorry.” The redhead called back to him.

Nick stopped and his heart skipped a beat. That tall dark haired girl looked familiar somehow. He glanced back but the pair were gone. He could hear a girlish giggle from the next aisle. Nick grabbed his tea and decided to follow the laughter.

“Jessa come on! Since we both have tomorrow off, we need to have some girl time.” The redhead said.

“I get that but do we really need all this junk food?” The dark haired girl replied, sadness to her voice that Nick immediately noticed as he glanced over the chips down the aisle from the girls. He glanced back and noticed the redhead looking at him. Nick grabbed a bag of some sort of chip and began to read the back label so as not to appear like he was following them.

“Oh, Nickolas!” An older male voice exclaimed as he saw the redhead choosing a bag of chips and some sort of dip to put into the basket the dark haired girl held.

Nick smiled and glanced over at the older clerk standing with a broom in his hand. “Long time no see Gene.”

“I’d say the same for you! Abby thought you’d finally given up this old town and moved back to the city.” Gene replied.

“Nope, just have been busy with the Boys you know. World tour and all.” Nick smiled sheepishly.

The head of the dark haired girl whipped around at the mention of a world tour. Her blue-green eyes met Nick’s baby blues and widened in surprise.

Gene patted Nick on the arm. “Well that’s good. Man always needs some time to rest the body and soul.” He smiled and tipped his head in the direction of the girls. “Couldn’t hurt to do some good ole fashion tail chasing if you know what I mean.” He said.

Nick smiled, a blush creeping into his cheeks. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He chuckled. 


	6. Chapter 5

Jessa’s head had whipped around at the sound of a male voice that wasn’t unfamiliar to her. Her eyes met the blue eyes of the one and only Nick Carter chatting with one of the store clerks. “Oh my god.” She whispered.

Annabelle chuckled. “Resident pop star, Nickolas Gene Carter.” She didn’t sound star struck. “He has a private house on the beach here.” She told Jessa, noticing how Jessa seemed to stare at Nick.

Jessa sighed heavily. She vaguely remembered meeting him at Jive Records before….well before the hiccup in her life had happened. She steeled herself as Nick seemed to saunter down their way.

Nick smiled at the two girls. “If I’m not mistaken we met once didn’t we?” Nick asked, looking directly at Jessa.

Jessa swallowed hard. “Yeah.” There was no use in denying that she had never met him. From the look in his eyes, she knew that he distinctly remembered her and was just playing nice for Annabelle. She could feel Annabelle’s hand grip on her arm tighten.

Nick put a finger to his temple. “If I remember correctly, it was Jessa right? Jessa Adams?”  Jessa nodded in reply. Nick smiled, his blue eyes crinkling in mock delight at getting her name right. “I thought so! I’m surprised to see you here, I thought you’d be helping ole Mississippi boy or JC since you are friends.”

Nick noticed he hit a nerve unexpectedly when the home state of Lance Bass was spoken. So there was something that had happened between them. Jessa swallowed again before giving Nick an answer. “No, I uh…decided that I was better off staying away with all that mess.” She said, trying not to sound shaken up. A rattle of thunder overhead brought her out of her stump. “We should probably get going before the storm really hits.” She said, attempting to disengage Nick.

Nick shook his head. “Not before I get your contact information. Since you’re a massage therapist and all.” He added when her eyes widened. The girl next to Jessa squeaked a little. “I might need some advice on stretches and whatnot since we’re doing more choreography on this tour.”

Jessa seemed to relax with those words. “Well as a professional rule I usually don’t give out my cell phone number to potential clients, but since you are famous, I’ll do it just this once so rumors don’t spread.”

Nick nodded. “That is a good idea.” He handed Jessa his cell phone and watched her program her number into it. Once that was done they said their goodbyes and Nick went on his way, wondering why Jessa had come all the way down to Vero Beach and what had happened between her and Lance.

Jessa sighed, visibly relaxing the moment Nick walked away. Annabelle cleared her throat. “Ok, this is some serious story you will be telling me.” She scolded playfully as they made their way towards the check outs. Another rumble of thunder overhead made Annabelle jump.

“Oh trust me…this story just gets better and better.” Jessa said dryly as they checked out and headed towards one of the side roads.

A drop of rain from overhead soon turned into a downpour. Thankfully Jessa lived close by the market and spa in a spacious 2 bedroom house that had been extremely cheap to rent. As Annabelle zipped around the kitchen preparing their snacks, Jessa sighed and glanced down at her answering machine. 3 missed calls and she could guess who they were from exactly. How he’d gotten her home phone number still bugged her. The curious part was, only one message had been left on the machine. Her fingers itched to delete the message before it was ever heard, but a tiny part of her heart urged for her to listen to it.

A deep bass voice sounded out as she pressed play. “Jessa, I wish you would just talk to me, like we used to. I know what I did was rough but even JC is worried about you. Please….just call me, or call him. We both want to know if you’re ok.” His voice pleaded with worry. 

Tears dropped onto the display as she blinked. Depressing a button she turned as the message was deleted. Annabelle was standing in the living room, her eyes full of wonder and a bit of sympathy.

“Was that him?” She asked softly.

Jessa nodded and curled up on the couch with a pillow. She wasn’t sure if it was because Annabelle being there had made her realize the whole thing was real, or if it was from hearing his voice. The pain in her chest grew as the tears kept coming. Before she knew it, she was telling Annabelle the whole story, from the moment she’d met Lance in person, to the moment he shattered her heart into pieces.

**

_ The cool breeze caressed her skin as she sighed, leaning back in her seat. The warmth of the summer sun was diluted with the cool breeze off the ocean, making the adventure even more perfect than she could imagine. _

_ “This is one of the best days for sailing.” A male voice replied beside her, sounding relaxed, and happy. Her head turned as she smiled lazily at the blonde haired man beside her. “Definitely the best day considering our schedule.”He laced his hand with hers and interlocked fingers. A smoothness to his ring finger reminded her just how lucky she was with her life now that he was in it… _

_ ** _

A sharp rumble of thunder with flashing lights startled Jessa awake. A bead of sweat rolled down into her eye, making her blink. ‘What the heck was that?’ She thought, her mind trying to capture wisps of the dream she’d been woken out of. A soft snore alerted her to Annabelle, who was sleeping soundly on the couch.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, and wincing at how raw her face felt, Jessa tried to calm down enough to go back to sleep. It was rare that a thunderstorm woke her up, but considering the emotional rollercoaster she’d re-ridden that day, she was surprised she’d even been able to sleep.

After a few minutes of tossing, Jessa sighed softly and got up. Wrapping a throw blanket around her shoulders she stood in front of the patio doors, watching the lightening streak across the sky, her thoughts tumbling over one another until a streak of the morning sun shown. Jessa shifted as the morning came. What little sleep she got would have to sustain her today. She placed a hand where her heart was. ‘I will never let you be broken again.’ She thought as she heard Annabelle shifting and yawing on the couch behind her.

“You’re up early.” Annabelle yawned as she stretched.

“The storm woke me up.” Jessa admitted. “Listen, I’m sorry for unloading all that emotional baggage in front of you yesterday.” She said, turning to face Annabelle.

Annabelle shrugged. “That’s what friends are supposed to before, right?” She asked rhetorically. “In this tiny sleepy little town, I consider you to be one of my best friends. I don’t know about you, but I don’t plan on leaving Vero Beach anytime soon. So as long as we’re here, I say we lean on each other for support.” She stood up and stuck out her hand. “Deal?”

Jessa smiled. “Deal.” She replied, shaking Annabelle’s hand. “But from now on, I’m calling you Anna.”

Annabelle grinned back. “Sounds good to me. Now…how bout some strawberry pancakes for a guilty breakfast?”


	7. Chapter 6

_ 2 years later...2009 _

"So this chick was totally all over AJ even though the bodyguard was trying to pull her off him." Nick laughed as AJ faux smacked Nick. "She was a very avid fan." AJ shrugged. 

The Boys were gearing up for their current tour and were in LA for interviews. Nick couldn't wait to get out of the news studio. Since the last year, he'd been talking with Jessa. At first he’d been hesitant to call her, especially after bumping into JC on a flight to the west coast, but curiosity got the better of him and since then, they had talked weekly and lately it had been twice a week.

Whatever had been wrong with Jessa had either been dealt with or she had chosen to bury it deeply so it didn't affect her. Nick found himself looking forward to the phone calls and was starting to wish he could spend more time getting to know her.

Jessa bustled around the office, trying to get as much done before Nick called her. Tonight was her turn to close up the spa and the last few clients had lingered before they left. One of the older ladies had been gushing about a granddaughter who'd gotten married recently and had to share every detail of it with her girlfriends and some of the staff at the spa.

“Oh Miss Jessa.” One of her favorite clients sighed as she spotted Jessa waiting patiently at the desk for the women to leave. “You know, it’s too bad I don’t have any grandsons that are your age.”

Several of the other women agreed. Jessa smiled. “Oh, Mrs. Smith, it’s ok.” 

“It is a shame. She’s such a nice young girl and pretty to boot.” Another client said as they continued to make their way out of the spa. 

Jessa kept the smile on her face as the women continued to lament the lack of young men they knew. In the last year quite a few of the clientele had gotten to know both Jessa and Anna at the spa and they’d both had their fair share of the clients trying to push grandsons or children of their cousins onto the girls as dates. The excuses were all the same too. The girls needed to have some fun in their lives with people their own ages, or they were too pretty to be wasting their time in an old retirement town. As the last client left and the other therapists helped clean up, Jessa wondered if Anna was having fun on her most recent date.

They’d gotten closer as friends after the last year, and one of the blind dates that Anna had gone on had proven to be interesting enough that Anna was close to having dated him for 4 months straight. Jessa smiled as she locked up the staff door and checked to ensure the front door was locked as well. She snapped her fingers as she realized she needed to hit the grocery store before going home. Checking the time she sighed. Nick would be calling her any minute now, and she didn’t want to be stuck in the store talking for a few hours. 

Hoping that he would be late getting out of whatever thing they were doing for the new tour, Jessa jogged quickly to the store. One of the most invigorating things about Vero Beach, now that she’d lived there for 2 years, was that she was within walking distance of pretty much every single place in town, including the beach. Jessa had never felt stronger in her life, nor had she been so physically fit. Jessa hustled through the store, grabbing some basic items for her dinner before checking out. While waiting in line, she grabbed a magazine whose model on the cover had caught her eye. Fingering her long dark hair, she contemplated what she would look like with a short bob with bangs.

She sighed in relief as she walked into the house and noticed that Anna wasn’t home. This would mean a nice quiet chat with Nick for once. Anna had moved from the tiny apartment complex and had taken over her spare bedroom a few months ago, and had made every effort possible to be around whenever Nick would call Jessa to talk stretches and other techniques so he wouldn’t get so sore after learning new choreography for a dance.

The phone rang, startling Jessa out of her thoughts. “Hello?” She froze when she realized that the voice on the other end wasn’t Nick.

“So you live.” JC’s voice spoke in her ear. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever talk to me again.”

Jessa mentally berated herself for not checking the caller id on her phone before answering. As she glanced down at the display, she noticed once again, there were a few missed calls but this time, no messages had been left. “Hi Joshua.” She said coolly after a pause. “I had been hoping that you’d finally give up trying to call me.”

JC sighed. “After the way things ended last year, I’ve been worried about you. I don’t want to bring up bad history, but the way you disappeared was a shock.”

Jessa gripped the receiver. “Listen, I don’t have time to rehash the past. I’m expecting a client call.” She said, attempting to sound professional. “Please don’t call me again.” She hung up without waiting for JC’s reply.

The second she hung up the phone, it rang again. This time she checked the caller id before she answered. “Hi Nick.” She relaxed and headed to the couch.

Nick found himself smiling when Jessa answered the phone. “Hey Miss Adams.” He replied.

“So what do you want to know today?” Jessa asked, settling back on the couch. She kicked her shoes off and suppressed a sigh of contentment.

“Well, I talked some things over with the other guys and with management, and although I know you’re comfortable there in Vero Beach, but would you like to be the tour therapist?” Nick threw the offer out to Jessa.

Jessa caught her breath. She and Nick had joked about having a therapist on one of the tours, but she’d always assumed it was something they’d joke about and it would never actually come to fruitation. “Oh geez Nick, I don’t know. I thought it was something we’d talk about but it’d never happen.” She admitted.

“Well it just did.” Nick said. “It would be a great experience for you and it would cut down on the phone bill too because you’d be with us instead of in Florida.”

Jessa inhaled. His logic was very sound when she thought about it. “I need to think about it Nick.” She said.

“What’s there to think about?” He asked, sounding amused. “You’ll get top notch pay, get to travel with 4 of the hottest guys on the planet and see the world. You get to use the specialty you trained in, and the best part is that you will get away from having to deal with all the old ladies trying to set you up on dates with their male relatives.”

Jessa laughed. “That is a good list of pros. But what about the house I live in? Not to mention Anna? Or my job at the spa.” She countered.

“Anna can watch over your house. She lives there.” Nick replied. “And I would almost bet my boat that the spa would be willing to let you travel and maybe gain some other massage experience around the world and bring it back to the spa when the tour is over.”

Jessa shook her head even though she knew Nick wouldn’t see the motion. “You’ve thought of every counter to get me to say yes haven’t you?” She teased.

“Darn right I have.” Nick said. “Seriously though, it is a great offer and honestly you’d be the only therapist I’d trust to have on tour with us. We’ve got one more interview tomorrow and then we get to head home for a few days before we start the stage rehearsal.” Nick paused. “Johnny will probably want to get your paperwork done on Friday if you say yes.”

Jessa had been contemplating the offer while Nick talked. Another pro that put saying yes to the job higher than before was that she’d get away from seeing JC calling her several times a day to plead to talk to her. “Let me sleep on it tonight Nick. It’s a decision that I can’t take lightly.” She said, her tone serious. “And I will call you tomorrow when I wake up and tell you my decision.” She added quickly before Nick could ask her when she’d tell him.

Nick smiled. He had a hunch she’d say yes. “Ok. You may have to leave a message when you call.” He said. “I don’t know how long the interview will take, and I know your day off is tomorrow, so you’ll probably sleep in.” He teased.

Nick had found that out the hard way when he’d called her early in the morning one week and not only did Jessa bit his head off for waking her, Anna had been the one to answer the phone in the first place.

“Damn straight I’m sleeping in.” She replied cheekily. “What time is your interview supposed to start?”

With Nick being in LA, and her in Florida, the time difference sometimes threw Jessa for a loop. She could hear Nick rattling a paper in the background before he answered. “Itinerary says we have to be ready at 6am.” Nick grimaced. He glanced at the clock. “I guess that means I need to sleep early.” He sighed.

Jessa smiled. Ever since they’d started talking over the phone, the friendship between them had grown. At first Jessa had been hesitant to go from a professional conduct with Nick to a more laid back and friendly one, but over time it had progressed naturally into what felt like a good friendship. “Even pop stars need their sleep.” She teased. “Otherwise all that hair will fall out.”

Nick instinctively swiped his hand over his head. “Dang it.” He groaned. Jessa’s laughter over the phone warmed him. If he didn’t know any better, he was starting to think of Jessa as more than just a friend.

“Haha Carter, got you again didn’t she?” AJ walked into the room and wagged a finger at him.

Nick raised a finger to his lips. “I’ll probably have my phone off, but maybe Johnny will be nice and let me have it on vibrate or silence or something so I know when you call.” He said.

AJ watched, amused as Nick and Jessa made their goodnights and Nick had hung up the phone. “So, trying to get your new little play toy out on tour?” AJ teased.

Nick threw a pillow at his band mate. “She’s not my play toy.” He retorted. 


	8. Chapter 7

Jessa sat on the couch after hanging up with Nick. A part of her was excited that this opportunity had come along. She shook her head. This was a time to be serious about the decision she was going to be making. Nick had made some good points, and she had countered with points that could be considered silly.

Jessa sighed and got up. A pen and paper would have to do for her pros and cons list. From what it sounded, Nick had managed to convince whomever it was that did staff hiring to get her the best pay possible, so that went into the pros list.

An hour later, Anna came home. “You’re still up?” She asked, dumping her purse on the couch next to the list. “What’s this?”

Jessa sighed and sat up. “Nick asked if I wanted to be the tour massage therapist.” She said.

Anna looked at the list. “Pros and cons huh?”

Jessa nodded tiredly. “They are about even I think. I just can’t decide.” She groaned, putting her head into her hands.

Anna looked from the list to Jessa. “Hun, you’d be certifiably crazy not to take that job! I know the spa would keep you on the books and you’d be able to leave and come back at will.” Anna sat down next to Jessa. “I’ll take care of the house. Brett’s been asking me to move in with him, and this gives me the perfect excuse not to.” She said.

Jessa raised her head. “Brett wants to move in together?” She asked skeptically.

Anna sighed. “He thinks this thing is going long term, but I just don’t see it happening. He’s nice and all, but he plans on staying here after he’s done with college and working at the Dr.’s office.” Anna frowned. She glanced at the list again. “Seriously, don’t waste this opportunity.” She encouraged.

“I know, I just…a part of me doesn’t want to go back outside this sleepy little town.” Jessa protested, knowing she sounded stupid.

It’d been 3 years now since her heart had been broken. She’d managed to lock her emotional heart up and behind a wall of ice in order to carry on in the months after the fiasco with Lance. Jessa was now to the point where joking with Nick was becoming ok and familiar to her. Anna clicked her tongue and rubbed Jessa’s back. “Hun, if it’s about both those guys calling and leaving messages on the phone, don’t worry about it. We both know that JC’s in New York. I still haven’t found where Lance is at but he hasn’t shown up in major entertainment rags, nor any gossip so I’m sure he’s laying low somewhere.” Anna reasoned out. “So don’t worry about bumping into either of them.”

Jessa ran hands through her hair. “I know I probably won’t bump into them, but I guess it’s called an irrational fear.” She straightened up. “Best way to get over that is to face it head on right?”

Anna smiled. “Damn straight!” She gave Jessa a big hug as Jessa circled the pro list.

The next morning found Jessa up bright and early for a change. “I should get used to being up early.” She said when Anna saw her coming down the hallway.

“Any other changes you’re making?” Anna joked as Jessa proceeded to make plans.

Jessa turned to her, a twinkle in her eyes. “Yeah, how about I get a haircut?”

 

 Nick’s relief at the simple message left on his phone was evident when they got back to the hotel that morning. He was dying to call Jessa back but then realized what time she had called. “Must have been excited to tell me her answer.” Nick joked to himself as he flipped his phone shut.

AJ slung an arm over Nick’s shoulder. “So, did she shoot you down?”

Nick poked AJ in the side and laughed as AJ danced away from him. “Bah, no one says no to Nick Carter!” Nick boasted, poking himself in the chest.

AJ laughed as Nick rubbed the spot he’d just poked. “Dude…no wonder you’re still single!” He doubled over in laughter as Nick mock scowled at him.

“Hey, soon as you are done packing we can go!” Howie’s voice called through the door.

Once they were all packed up and at the airport, Nick cleared his throat. “Hey guys, Jessa said yes to the job offer.” He grinned.

Brian and Howie both glanced at Nick and then each other while AJ shook his head. “Someone’s got it bad.” AJ sung as he dodged Nick.

Nick sighed as they waited in a private room before their flight. Maybe AJ had it right and he was starting feel something for Jessa as more than a friend. He’d have 2 weeks to sort out what his feelings were before they officially started the tour.


	9. Chapter 8

The warmth of the ocean settled around Jessa as she walked along the beach. She’d told Nick she’d take the job on tour, and had successfully talked the spa into keeping her as an employee with the promise that one of her overseas visits would include a stop at particular store to not only pick up some expensive oils and creams for the therapists, but that she would also come back with a new technique or two for everyone to learn and use in their practices.

Anna had successfully convinced Brett that she couldn’t move in with him and had reassured the landlord of the house they lived in that not only would Anna be a good renter, but that Jessa planned on returning to the cozy little home.

The only part left was to sign the paperwork with Johnny and then pack. Jessa kicked at a rock that was in her path. She was sure she felt happy that things in her life had turned up, and a big part of her would be glad to get away from the phone calls and increasing number of message that both JC and Lance had been leaving on her phone.

Her cell phone beeped, signaling a text message had arrived. She was still thankful that neither of them had gotten a hold of that number. Looking at the message she straightened her shoulders and turned around. Nick had arrived back in Orlando and both he and Johnny were on their way down so she could sign her paperwork.

A stray lock of her newly dyed ash blonde hair blew across her face. As Jessa swept it from her face, she wondered if Nick would be surprised or shocked to see her with a much shorter hair style. Anna had certainly been surprised that Jessa wanted to make such a change.

“Girl, I don’t know what has gotten into you, but wow.” Anna had said once the stylist had finished blow drying her hair. She gestured to the hair lying on the floor. “I mean, 10 inches of hair is nothing to frown at.”

Jessa had smiled in the mirror at her friend. “Well it was time for a change, and besides, this isn’t the first time I’ve cut my hair for Locks of Love. I just have never dyed it before.”

It’d taken the rest of the day for Anna to get used to her new hair, and Jessa didn’t regret the decision one bit. As she arrived home, the wind picked up a little bit more, blowing some sand into her face. “Hey, is there supposed to be a rain storm later?” Jessa asked as she slipped her shoes off.

Anna was in the kitchen, a guilty look on her face. “I don’t know.”

“What’s with that guilty look?” Jessa teased.

“I have chocolate.” Anna admitted. “I couldn’t help myself, it looked so tempting!”

Jessa laughed as she tossed her sweatshirt over a chair. “Nick arrived at the Orlando airport and is heading down.” She said. “I’m going to hop in the shower.”

Once showered, Jessa dressed business casual. The drive from Orlando took around 3 hours if there was traffic, though on a good day it only took 2. It’d been about an hour and a half since Nick had texted her. She settled back on the couch with a book that had seen better days. Anna had disappeared into the shower as soon as Jessa had finished. Before she knew it, Jessa was fast asleep on the couch with the book on her chest.

Anna came out of the bathroom and chuckled at the sight of her friend sleeping so soundly on the couch. “Poor girl.” She thought out loud. Anna took a throw off one of the chairs and placed it over Jessa. Her attempt to take the book away resulted in Jessa swiping at Anna in her sleep.

Looking at the clock, Anna figured she’d let Jessa sleep a little longer and then wake her up before Nick and Johnny arrived. A familiar jingle of Jessa’s cell phone on the floor caused Jessa to groan and turn before settling back into sleep. Before Anna had time to reach down and check the message, a knock sounded at the front door. “Jessa, wake up!” Anna hissed loudly as she stood and walked towards the door. Peeking out the window, Anna shook her head. Nick must have driven over the speed limit if he was there in less than 2 hours. No one else was with him that she could tell. Biting her lip, Anna glanced back at Jessa and then shrugged. It wasn’t her fault that Jessa had chosen to take a nap, so it shouldn’t be her fault that Nick saw her sleeping, right?

“Nick!” Anna opened the door, putting her finger to her lips. “Shh. Jessa’s take a small nap.” She said.

Nick peeked into the house. Spotting the figure sleeping on the couch, he smiled mischievously. “I knew she hated getting up early!” He said a smirk on his face.

Anna arched an eyebrow. “I’ll let you wake her up but don’t give me all the blame. I tried waking her up before I answered the door.” She said dryly as she retreated back to the kitchen. “You want some tea or water?”

“Tea is ok with me.” Nick replied as he slipped his shoes off before stepping into the living room. He took in the newly dyed hair and how innocent and young Jessa looked as she slept. His heart thumped soundly in his chest. Unconsciously he put his hand to his heart.

Anna fixed a couple mugs of hot jasmine tea. The weather outside was looking to bring a small storm off the coast and hot tea always relaxed people after a long drive. She walked out of the kitchen and almost dropped the tray as she saw Nick standing over Jessa with a soft expression on his face. He almost looked happy at seeing Jessa sleeping. Just as Anna was about to step next to the couch, Nick placed his hand over his heart. ‘ _I wonder if he realizes he just did that.’_ Anna thought. She watched Nick as he noticed the book that had slipped out from under the blanket.

Nick picked up the book and looked at it curiously. “Black Beauty huh?” He chuckled. He found the bookmark that was lying on the coffee table and placed it in the book before putting the book on the table. He leaned down and shook Jessa’s shoulder. “Yo! Sleepy head!” He said.

Jessa groaned and swatted at Nick. She muttered something that Anna couldn’t hear. The next thing Anna saw was Nick and Jessa both holding their foreheads as Jessa had shot straight up from her nap. “Damn!” Jessa groaned.

Nick started laughing even though he was holding his head. “I knew you were stubborn, but now I know you have a hard head too!”

Anna chuckled as she set the tray down and went to grab a couple of ice packs. “Didn’t anyone teach you not to stand over someone when you wake them up?” Jessa retorted. She groaned again as Anna handed her an ice pack. “And you!” Jessa pointed at Anna wincing. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

Anna grinned as she gave Nick the other ice pack. “I have no part in this! He arrived and I tried to wake you.” She said.

Once the two had gotten over the pain, Jessa sighed. “Sorry for being so grouchy.” She apologized to both Nick and Anna. “I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep.”

Nick shrugged. “It’s ok. Johnny will be arriving at my house in about 20 minutes with the paperwork.” He said, glancing at his phone.

Jessa excused herself to the bathroom to freshen up before meeting Johnny. Anna cleaned up the empty tea mugs and now warm ice packs. Nick stood and stretched. As he waited for Jessa he thought about the moment he had seen her sleeping face. ‘ _Does she realize how beautiful she is?_ ’ Nick thought suddenly as his heart thumped again. This time he realized he had put his hand to his heart again.


	10. Chapter 9

As he drove Jessa over to his house, he stole a glance at her. While she had seemed young and innocent while sleeping, he could see the subtle changes that showed when she was awake. Stiffness to her frame that came from being nervous, and the way she kept shifting in her seat. “Nervous?” He asked.

Jessa almost jumped at the sound of his voice. “Yeah, a little bit.” She admitted. “I mean, I haven’t seen Johnny since I lived in Orlando.” She said, studying her hands.

It clicked in Nick’s head. The last time Johnny had seen her, she had been good friends with JC and Lance. “Ah.” He said. “I highly doubt Johnny will say anything about that time.” He said. “In fact, I’d go so far as to say Johnny only remembers that you are a massage therapist.” Nick turned onto the private drive of his home.

Jessa seemed to relax a little. Nick pulled up to the house and noted that Johnny hadn’t arrived yet but that storm clouds off the coast had built up more than anticipated. Just as they got out of Nick’s car, Johnny pulled up in the driveway. “Perfect timing.” Nick said a smile on his face.

Johnny introduced himself to Jessa, and they proceeded to sign the paperwork needed. Johnny also went over the tour schedule with Jessa and noted the stops she wanted to make for the spa. Nick sat back and watched Jessa as she got into business mode. He still wasn’t sure what his feelings were for her, but if earlier was any indication, his heart was already made up.

 “Well, I think that takes care of things for now.” Johnny said, standing up a few hours later.

Jessa shook Johnny’s hand. “Thank you very much for this opportunity.” She said politely.

Johnny laughed. “You don’t have to be so formal with me.” He said. “I’m pretty laid back for a manager, and I’ve managed the Boys for a long time now.”

Jessa smiled and relaxed. What Nick had said was true. Johnny barely remembered her, and treated her kindly. Nick looked out the window and frowned. The storm that had been threatening to break looked menacing. “Want a drink?” Nick asked Jessa as he turned away from the window.

Jessa sighed and stretched. She’d told Anna she’d be back later that night. “Sure.” She said.

Nick no longer kept alcohol in his home to keep himself on a healthy lifestyle. “I have tea or water.” Nick said, rummaging around the drawer.

“Tea is fine with me.” Jessa sat down at the kitchen nook that overlooked Nick’s backyard. It was the first time she’d been in his house since they met. She looked around slowly, taking in the neatness of the backyard. Nick had what looked like a small private estate on the coast of Vero Beach, but the looks were deceiving. Once you got past the privacy fence surrounding the main yard of the house, it looked completely different than one would ever expect. The gates that lead to the dock where his boat was housed were well taken care of, and the backyard was maintained by a landscaping company that specialized in preserving what nature had grown.

Nick came over with the tea and sat down next to her. “That storm looks pretty bad.” He said as she nodded her thanks at him. “I was planning—---…” Nick was cut off midsentence as a bolt of lightning streaked across the sky and thunder rattled the windows.

Jessa squeaked and jumped as the thunder scared her. “Holy shit.” She swore, placing a hand over her racing heart.

Nick raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think I’ve heard you swear before.” He said. Jessa gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth. Nick laughed.

“Don’t laugh.” Jessa swatted at him, her embarrassment short lived. “I don’t care for lightening or thunder when it first starts. It startles me.”

Nick laughed even more as another clap of thunder made her jump. This time her hand made solid contact with his arm as Jessa smacked him again. “Damn girl.” Nick joked as he rubbed his arm. He gave a mischievous grin.

“AH! Nick!” Jessa squeaked and attempted to push his hands away as he tickled her. She twisted in her chair in an attempt to get away.

Nick laughed as Jessa squirmed around trying to avoid him. She managed to get out of the chair and backed away, still giggling. “Oh-ho so she’s very ticklish.” Nick teased as he stood up.

Another clap of thunder shook the windows. The steady drum of rain sounded suddenly against the patio doors. As Nick advanced slowly on Jessa to tickle her more, an even brighter flash of lightning shown and suddenly the lights in the kitchen went out. “Shit.” He swore.

“Well…this is a sudden turn of events.” Jessa said. He could see her in the soft light from the patio doors.

Nick turned and felt his way towards the other side of the kitchen. “I know I have candles or a flashlight around here somewhere.” He said, opening a drawer.

A pair of hands was placed on his back. “Want me to help?” Jessa said from behind him.

Nick froze. Her hands were warm and soft. He swallowed as silently as he could. “Um, yeah.” He managed to say. “I’m not totally sure where they are though.”

Jessa’s hands moved from his back. He could hear her rummaging through a drawer on his left. Nick continued his search of the drawer as thunder sounded again.

After a few minutes of searching, they both came up with a pair of candles. Nick found some matches and got one of the candles lit. “Well, this was totally not planned.” Nick joked. “Here I was going to drive you back to town and see if both you and Anna wanted to celebrate your new job.”

Jessa smiled softly at Nick. “Sometimes the best memories are from unplanned days.” She said wisely.

It was almost as if the candlelight cast some spell over Nick. He sucked in a breath at Jessa’s smile in the soft light. Jessa didn’t know but at that moment, Nick’s heart won the battle over his head and love blossomed.

The storm raged on for a few hours, and yet, the lights didn’t come back on. Nick wondered if a transformer blew or if there was a fuse that blew in the utility room. Thanks to the candles, he’d managed to find a flashlight and extra batteries. “I’m going to check the fuse box.” Nick told her, once the thought occurred to him. “You can stay here or come with me if you like.”

Jessa nodded. “I’ll come with you.” She said. “Not that your house is creepy in the dark.” She added.

Nick smiled as he led the way to the utility room. Once there, it took some searching to find the fuse box. Nick looked at the fuse box and then looked over at Jessa and shrugged. “I guess I don’t know the first thing about fuse boxes.” He said sheepishly, running a hand through his hair.

Jessa shook her head. “Let me see.” They traded spots and Jessa poked around the fuses for a moment. “They all seem ok to me.” She said. “But I don’t see a fuse tester here, so that should be something you need to really check to see if the circuit is still active in the fuse itself.”

Nick nodded. “Once the storm dies down out there, I’ll drive you back and see if the hardware store is open.”

Jessa shut the fuse box door and turned to follow Nick out of the utility room. As she turned, her foot caught on a box and she tripped forward with full momentum.

Nick was just turning around when he saw Jessa trip out of the corner of his eye. “Yikes!” He reached out to catch her. Much like earlier that day, neither one of them knew what happened until Nick opened his eyes. The light overhead flickered on suddenly. Nick’s head and back ached as he realized that Jessa was lying on top of him. Not only that, she had landed so perfectly on him that she had managed to inadvertently kiss him.  Nick almost chuckled at the thought that the whole thing probably looked like a scene out of some drama between the two main characters.

At the same time, Jessa opened her eyes, and they widened in shock. She was staring straight into Nick’s baby blue eyes as she realized she had landed on top of Nick. She blushed fiercely as she realized not only had she tripped, but they were lip locked as well! “Oh my god! I am so sorry Nick.” She scrambled up, her face turning redder by the second.

Nick shook his head. “It’s ok Jessa.” He said. “No harm, no foul.” He got up and dusted himself off as Jessa practically bolted out of the room. They didn’t speak a word of what happened later on after the storm had died down enough for Nick to drive Jessa back to town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The accidental kiss scene was inspired by a scene in a Korean drama called Flower Boy Next Door where the lead female freaks out in a rented room after the lights go out and the lead male rushes in from outside to find out what's wrong and they collide just inside the doorway and end up on the floor in their first kiss. It's subtitled and can be seen free (with a few ads) on a site called Dramafever if you want to check it out.


	11. Chapter 10

_3 months later…NYC_

“Yo! We’re on in 5 minutes!” A stage hand shouted as people hustled around backstage before the show started.

Jessa peaked around the curtain at the crowd of fans gathered in the venue. She’d never been to a Backstreet concert before coming on this tour and now they were 3 months in, she still was amazed at how many older fans and younger fans came out to see them.

Instead of finding a seat out in the audience, Jessa had chosen to stay backstage by the sound board and watch the concert. She’d integrated into tour life well and even got along with both the other members of the group and their significant others. Brian’s wife Leighanne was the only other person who stayed backstage with her tonight. Baylee Littrell had gone out and introduced the Boys onstage at one of the first concerts of the tour and everyone loved it, including Baylee himself.

“Ok Bay, you know what to do right?” Leighanne adjusted Baylee’s cap so he wouldn’t be blinded by the stage lights.

Jessa smiled as Baylee responded to his mom. The boy was a spitting image of Brian and the fans absolutely adored him. Jessa had been surprised to learn that both Leighanne and Brian had asked fans not to post pictures of their son by himself on the internet, and the fans had complied whole heartedly.

Leighanne sighed as one of the stage hands handed her a mic. “He’s ready to go out whenever.”

“Ok Baylee, go tell them who the best group in the world is!” Leighanne smiled at her son and let him run off into the middle of the stage.

“He is such a cute little boy.” Jessa commented as they watched Baylee pose for the crowd of girls.

“Oh he’s taking after his father more and more.” Leighanne laughed as Baylee hammed it up for the crowd. “So, since we have a day off tomorrow, do you want to go shopping?” She asked as Baylee came running back.

Jessa smiled. “That probably would be a good idea.” She said as she knelt down to take the mic from Baylee.

“Auntie Jess…we’re going to the toy store.” Baylee announced as a different stage hand came to take the mic from Jessa.

Leighanne chuckled. “Only if your daddy says so.” She said playfully, winking over at Jessa.

Jessa laughed as the music blared from the speakers and the Boys arrived on stage to shrieks of joy. Baylee had taken an instant liking to Jessa, even going so far as to call her his Aunt. Jessa felt more and more comfortable with the people around her. No one was false or mean to her in any way and for that she was thankful. As the show went on, she found her eyes seemed to be glued to Nick as he performed on stage. They hadn’t spoken of that day back in Florida and Jessa was glad. She felt embarrassed that it had even happened even though his lips had been extremely soft and inviting.

Leighanne glanced over at Jessa as she was lost in thought while the Boys performed. She saw Jessa give herself a little shake and almost chuckled. Even if Jessa was consciously aware of her feelings for Nick, Leighanne figured the younger woman wouldn’t act on them. She was glad Nick had taken an interest in a woman who was the complete opposite of what his last girlfriend had been. Leighanne hadn’t been a huge fan of Nick dating Paris back in the day, and had been glad when he stayed single after their second break up.

There was a certain point during the concert where Leighanne tapped Jessa on the shoulder and motioned for her to follow. Baylee had gone ahead to the hotel with one of their bodyguards. Once they got away from the blare of music on stage, Leighanne smiled. “I know you’re not used to this, but we try to get to the hotel before the Boys end their show so we don’t get caught up in the crowds that linger, hoping to get a chance to see one of the Boys.” Leighanne explained.

Jessa nodded. Since she’d only seen the show from the audience, it was easy to slip away as soon as the last song started and head towards the hotel. This time, they left about 3 songs before the end. Once she arrived at the hotel, Leighanne told Jessa when they would be going out.

“I hope tomorrow will be fun.” Jessa said as she flopped down on her bed. Owing the fact that Howie and Brian were married, AJ and Nick frequently shared a hotel room while the other two got their own. Jessa was happy enough that she got a room to herself most of the time. AJ’s girlfriend Rochelle would be joining them on the West Coast before they headed overseas. She’d met Rochelle a few times at the beginning of the tour and was pleasantly surprised at how friendly AJ’s girlfriend was.

The next morning found Jessa and Leighanne with a small entourage of bodyguards. The Boys would be off doing an interview at MTV and Jessa wouldn’t be needed until later that day. They had one more concert in New York before they headed to the next tour stop. “Ok Baylee, where is this toy store you were talking about?” Jessa asked him.

“Mom knows exactly where to go!” Baylee was so excited he was practically bouncing in his seat.

They arrived at the toy store that Baylee was so fond of. He grabbed Jessa by the hand and started to drag her through the store. “Slow down little one!” Jessa laughed as Leighanne shook her head and followed.

After a couple of hours in the toy store, Baylee was ready to go. Leighanne suggested a nice café not far from the MTV studios for a light lunch to see how big the crowd got for the Boys.

Howie’s wife, Leigh had come with them as well but was a bit more subdued than Leighanne. She’d explained that her pregnancy wasn’t something well known yet to the fans and she was having a rough time of it since they were on tour. Leigh ended up taking Baylee back to the hotel for a nap and let Leighanne have some adult time.

“I remember watching MTV back in the day and the crowds were just crazy.” Jessa commented after they had eaten lunch.

“Yeah.” Leighanne shook her head. “MTV has definitely gone downhill for awhile now.” She sighed as she saw the small crowd at the building. “They were great when the Boys first started and helped them gain such a big following, but now, it’s like they don’t even care about the Boys.”

Jessa noticed that Leighanne seemed frustrated at that. No one seemed to bother them too much as Leighanne started showing Jessa some of the more trendy places around Times Square where she could find some interesting and unique things to buy. As they walked down the street to the next shop, Jessa couldn’t help but feel that eyes were watching her. Turning around, Jessa scanned the sidewalk behind them and across the street.

“Something wrong?” Leighanne asked, noticing Jessa’s behavior.

“No, I just thought someone was staring at me, that’s all.” Jessa responded.

While the girls were out shopping, Nick sat in a dressing room and sighed. MTV studios had changed a lot since the last time they’d been in the studio. The music channel had stopped focusing so much on music, and more on reality type shows such as Road Rules and the Real World.

His fingers itched to grab the cell phone sitting in his pocket and text Jessa to see what she was up to. Everyone was restless today it seemed. Howie had been on the phone with his wife, and even AJ was bouncing his feet in an attempt not to fall asleep. “This sucks.” Nick said out loud.

Brian nodded. “Man, I remember when we’d have to be barred up in the dressing room because fans would get in and try to chase us.” He smiled.

“Now, we got nothing.” AJ shrugged. “But then again, this place ain’t targeting our type of audience anymore.”

A knock on the door made Nick jump up. It opened and revealed a face they hadn’t seen in years. “JC Chasez.” AJ said dryly.

“Hey guys!” JC’s face lit up. “Long time no see!”

“What brings you to this neck of the woods?” Brian asked, trying to be courteous.

“Ah, well we’re starting a new season of America’s Best Dance Crew, and we just finished promo pictures.” JC said.

They chatted for a bit before another knock sounded on the door. “Well I need to get out of here. Lance is in town for some charity event so I guess I better get going.” JC said as an intern told them that their interview was finally ready to be recorded.

Nick froze in his seat at the mention of Lance. During the past 3 months, he’d finally gotten the truth about the painful split between Jessa and Lance and how she’d ended up in Vero Beach. To think that her ex would be in town at the same time they were gave Nick chills down the back of his spine.

“Oh, hey before I forget, Brian, someone mentioned that they saw your wife and Howie’s wife out this morning with someone they’d never seen before. I got a funny feeling whomever she is, she’s gonna get some attention soon.” JC added before he left.

Brian and Howie looked at Nick. “I think some shit is going to hit the fan.” Nick groaned. No one had thought that Jessa would get any attention being out with 2 Backstreet wives but being in New York City could ruin even the best of laid out plans.


	12. Chapter 11

After an uneventful day of shopping with Leighanne, Jessa set her bags down in her room and took her shoes off. Sighing, she sat down and rubbed the bottoms of her feet. She hadn’t walked that much in ages, nor had she had that much fun. “Hey, Jessa, you back?” A knock and Nick’s voice startled her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah, just a second.” Jessa glanced at the bags on the bed. ‘ _Crap!_ ’ She grabbed the bags and quickly stuffed them into the closet. She opened the door. “What’s up?” She asked as she let him into the room.

“Uh, well…” Nick chuckled nervously as he combed his hair. “I guess some paparazzi spied you with Leigh and Leighanne today and started posting pictures of you guys shopping.” He started off.

Jessa shrugged. “So? As long as they don’t start rumors about me, I don’t care.”

“That’s the thing.” Nick sat down. “The rumor mill blew up as soon as they posted a picture of your face. Some think we’re dating, and others think AJ and Rochelle broke up and you’re his new girlfriend.”

Jessa felt the blood drain from her face. She sat back down on the bed. “What…how..” She swallowed hard.

Nick smiled. “Don’t worry. Johnny already has a news bulletin out on the fan club website that states you’re the tour massage therapist and are in no way romantically associated with either AJ or I.”

“But the rumors aren’t going to stop.” Jessa pointed out. “They are just going to quiet down for now.”

Nick cocked an eyebrow at her. “So what?”

“Nick, it’s not that I don’t care, I just don’t want to cause you guys any unnecessary trouble.” Jessa pointed out.

“And I say who cares about the rumors.” Nick sighed. “It’s not that bad to be rumored to be dating someone famous, isn’t it?”

Jessa looked down at her hands. “I don’t want Rochelle to get pissed at me either.” She said.

Nick laughed. “Rochelle’s used to this by now. AJ’s been linked to several women while they’ve been dating. In fact, AJ said she laughed when she saw the rumors.”

Jessa relaxed a little with that. “Well I’m glad she’s ok with that.” She smiled a little bit.

Nick looked at her. “What’s wrong?” He asked, noticing how she seemed to be picking at her fingernails.

“Oh, nothing.” Jessa said, looking up at Nick. “I just realized that the paparazzi who got those pictures must have been the reason why I thought someone was following me all day.”

Nick shook his head. “Well, it doesn’t help that Lance is in town either.” He said. “We ran into JC back at the studios today and he mentioned something about Lance being in town for some charity gig and then…” Nick snapped his fingers. “He said something about someone new with the other two…”

“So the pictures were up then?” Jessa’s head snapped up as another knock sounded on the door.

“Hey we got more shit that hit the fan.” Howie’s voice piped up from the hallway. “We’re meeting in Johnny’s room in 5 minutes.”

Nick and Jessa both looked at each other. Jessa had a sinking feeling that it was something big.

_15 minutes later..._

“We’re screwed.” Nick said as Jessa continued to read the article that had popped up on an entertainment website.

Her hands shook as she read the article. Someone had spotted her in NYC and somehow a picture of her and Lance had started circulating and had made the connection of her relationship with Lance before he’d come out.

“I don’t know what to say.” Johnny sighed. “There isn’t much damage control we can do other than to either clarify that she did date Lance, or deny it.”

Jessa shook her head. “There is really no choice but to clarify it.” She said softly.

“Yeah, but what about now?”  Leigh asked. “How can we clear things up without causing more harm to you?”

Leighanne looked between Jessa, Nick and Johnny. “I have an idea.” She said a twinkle in her eye.

“What’s that?” Nick asked cautiously. He didn’t like that twinkle that she had, and his gut was telling him that she would propose a scenario that could end up hurting Jessa in the end.

“So, we come out with Jessa admitting her past relationship with Lance, but once she found out Lance was gay, she bolted and ended up meeting Nick a couple years later and they became good friends and then the sparks flew and they’ve been dating secretly for the past few months.” She said.

Jessa shook her head at the same time Nick protested. “That’s not going to work.”

Johnny held up a hand. “Actually, I can see this working. Not to say that we aren’t twisting things a bit here Jessa, but if we make it so that you were really torn up with Lance’s announcement, it brings a bit of a soft hearted heroine who gets swept up by Nick as a Prince Charming type character.”

AJ snorted. “This really is something like out of a novel or drama.” He said dryly.

Johnny looked at Jessa. “Are you ok with admitting that much of the past with him?” He asked as the others looked at her.

Jessa glanced around and finally looked up at Nick. “I guess I have to be ok with that.” She said calmly. “Though in reality it was true. I did bolt when I found out.” She said, her face softened with sadness.

Leighanne shifted from her chair and went to Jessa’s side and hugged her. “You know, you really are a strong person to have come through that shocker.” She said. “We’re all here behind you to help if you need us.” She said.

Jessa smiled sadly at Leighanne and hugged her back. “Thank you.” She whispered.


	13. Chapter 12

Jessa paced nervously across her room later that day. Anna had called her to find out the whole scoop on things and told her that both Lance and JC had called her home line and left messages. “Honestly, I think Lance sounded more relieved than JC.” Anna had said after she’d played back the messages for Jessa.

Now that the news was out, Jessa felt overwhelmed. Nick was getting changed and they were about to head out on what would look like a sightseeing date for the couple.  She nervously smoothed the shirt that she’d bought just that day.

Leighanne had helped her get dressed, saying that now things were out, she’d have to take care of her appearance and actions more than ever before. “This date, even though we know you two are going to be acting, you two have to really act it out in front of the world as if you are really in love and all couple like.” Leigh had advised.

Now it was a few minutes before the appointed date time and Jessa felt like a rock had inhabited the pit of her stomach. Even though she **knew** that everything was an act to control rumors about her on the tour and even though she’d agreed to the whole thing, she was still nervous.

As she paced, she analyzed herself. Did she like Nick as a potential love interest? Was she even attracted to him? Jessa restrained the urge to tug on her hair. Her introspective questions only served as fuel for the pit in her stomach. She didn’t know if she felt anything for Nick other than being friends. “This is so frustrating!” Jessa growled as she stared at her reflection in the mirror.

Knowing she’d only get antsier as the night went on, Jessa sat down on the bed and calmly breathed in and out. Her feet were planted firmly on the floor and her hands lay in her lap. A technique she’d learned in massage school in order to reduce stress before a work day had always helped her before, and she hoped it would help her now.

Just as she felt her nerves calming down, a knock sounded on her door. It was time.

Nick waited outside the door, his hair combed neatly and his shoes seemed to shine. Brian had helped him get ready and even Howie had helped with preparations for their first ‘date’.  To Nick, it seemed like things were about to take an interesting turn in his friendship with Jessa.

Since he’d realized he’d fallen in love with her, Nick had tried to suppress the urges to ask her out numerous times since the tour started. He only hoped that tonight they’d be able to convince the world that they’d been dating for awhile and were in love. The door opened and Jessa stepped out with a light jacket on over a dark blouse and tan slacks. He sucked in a breath as she smiled up at him. Nick remembered Howie’s advice that if they were going to convince the world, he’d need to start acting the part as soon as he was out of his room. “Ready?” He asked, holding out a hand.

Jessa took his hand lightly and nodded. She hadn’t been prepared to see Nick dressed up just for her. In fact, her surprise at how handsome he looked seemed to have robbed her of her ability to speak for a moment.

They headed to the elevator and quietly waited until they were out in the lobby. They had 2 bodyguards with them who seemed to be quite content with hanging out while Nick signed autographs of some of the fans who’d managed to find the hotel. “You ok?” Nick asked once they’d gotten into the car.

“Yeah, I’m ok.” Jessa looked up into Nick’s eyes. Had they been that deep before? Her memory seemed a bit fuzzy on that detail.

To the world around them that night, they looked like a couple who was very much in the first stages of love and even though some commented on the fact they thought Jessa was a bit nervous, others replied that they thought it was because she now was in the spotlight and that could make any normal person nervous.

“So what do you think?” Nick asked at the low key restaurant that Howie had managed to find for them.

Jessa looked around as they waited for their food. “I like it.” She said honestly. During the car ride, Jessa had realized there was a bit of an attraction between herself and Nick. If she was going to make this work, she’d have to come out of the shell she’d been living in the past few years.

Nick had noticed she’d come out of her shy self more as the night progressed. He really had only seen her non-shy side back in Vero Beach or when there was no one else around on the tour. “Howie mentioned this place is where he and Leigh went a lot whenever we’d come to the city on tour.” Nick said.

Jessa smiled at that. “I’m not surprised. Leigh said it was her favorite place in the whole world.” She said, taking a sip of her water.

Their food arrived and they both dug in with enthusiasm. Jessa knew her nerves were to blame for her increase in appetite, but it seemed Nick felt the same way.

Nick ordered a low-fat desert that he’d seen Jessa eyeballing on the menu earlier. “You trying to make me fat, Carter?” Jessa teased as the chocolate desert arrived at their table.

Nick smirked. “Oh, would I do that?” He teased back. He’d ordered only one piece, mostly because he knew Jessa would eat a whole slice herself.

“So, this is where you’ve been hiding.” A familiar voice spoke, making Jessa freeze in her seat.

Nick gulped as Lance Bass stood at the end of their table. He looked at Jessa and saw the pain in her eyes. “Hey Lance, what kind of greeting is that?” He asked, reaching across the table and gently taking Jessa’s hand into his own. His thumb rubbed across her knuckles in a soothing manner.

Lance seemed to have noticed the movement as his eyes narrowed a bit. “I’m sorry. Hi Nick, long time no see. I see your dating my ex-girlfriend.”

Nick winced inwardly at the jab. He smiled back at Lance. “That’s better.”

Lance looked over at Jessa. She swallowed and smiled politely at him. Inside she was furious with anger at him, not cowering in heart break. A part of her was glad for that. “Hello James.” She said pointedly using his first name.

Lance looked a bit taken back at her tone of voice and her use of his first name. “I’ve been worried sick about you ever since you left Orlando.” He said, keeping his voice down.

Jessa cocked her head. “Well, you shouldn’t have been. I’m a big girl. I’ve done just fine taking care of myself since then.” She replied coolly.

“Yeah I see that.” Lance muttered. “Why didn’t you answer my calls? Or JC’s either?”

Jessa sighed and squeezed Nick’s hand involuntarily. His reassuring squeeze back made her feel more sturdy. “I’m sorry, but the news was so hard to take, I had to cut off all communication. There’s nothing I have against you or Josh, but I just couldn’t handle seeing you or him after that much heart break.” She softened her voice and sounded pained.

Nick watched her as she spoke to Lance. A part of him knew that her past with Lance had been painful and hard to accept, and she was showing that now in public, which further solidified her tragic love story past with Lance.

Lance seemed to deflate in front of Jessa’s eyes. She blinked and couldn’t help but notice the worry lines that had formed around his eyes and forehead. Had he looked this old before? It seemed like tonight her entire world was transforming before her eyes could even comprehend what was going on. Lance sighed. “As always, your logic is pretty solid.” He admitted. “Look, I am really sorry for the pain I’ve caused you.” Lance said, looking straight at Jessa. “I’ve thought a lot about what happened and how hurt you must have felt and I know no apology will ever fix that.”

Jessa took a deep breath as Lance continued to apologize. Nick sat back and supported Jessa silently as he held her hand. Even though the circumstances had forced them into a public relationship, Nick could feel that this was right for them.

Lance had tried to get Jessa’s cell phone number but she refused to give it up in public. Instead she’d convinced him that emails were more private and less painful for her, and because of the tour schedule, she’d be more willing to respond.

After that, Nick felt that Jessa clung to him more so than before. After paying the bill, they waited in the lobby of the restaurant for the car and Nick held her close. He didn’t even realize he had kissed her forehead until she’d looked up at him. 


	14. Chapter 13

The concert the next night went off without any problems and soon found the group on their respective buses heading toward their next venue date. Normally anyone associated with the business side of the tour or being an employee on the tour meant that person was in one of the staff or tour hand buses. Jessa had been exempted from that rule because she was considered personal staff for the Boys up until the day before. Now that she was Nick’s ‘girlfriend’ she was on the bus with Nick and AJ.

“Awe man!” AJ groaned, as the TV in the main living space of the bus beeped. He and Nick were playing some video game and AJ had just lost.

“Yeah boy!” Nick threw his hands in the air. “That makes what…3 to 1?” He grinned at AJ “You owe me 20 bucks!”

AJ grumbled as he dug into his pocket. “Wait a minute! You said it was only 10!”

Nick shook his head. “It was double or nothing. And you agreed. Pay up sucker!” He held out his hand. They were wound up from the concert and probably wouldn’t go to sleep any time soon.

This was the way many nights ended on the US leg of the tour. The gossip magazines and paparazzi took every opportunity to try and get pictures of Nick and Jessa whenever they had more than one concert stop in a city.

Once Rochelle joined them in Arizona, Jessa relaxed even more. Rochelle was only a few months older than she was and it was nice to have another woman on the tour close to her age and not married.

Leigh had left once she hit her 7th month of pregnancy. By this time, the tour was in LA. Rochelle had decided to drag Jessa to some of her favorite places to shop around town while the guys were off doing some new interviews and recording some stuff for the local entertainment shows.

“So, what’s it like?” Rochelle looked at Jessa while they were sitting at a small café sipping on some fruit smoothies.

“What do you mean?” Jessa looked at Rochelle, puzzled.

“Being Nick Carter’s girlfriend.” Rochelle laughed. “Not that I’m jealous or anything, I love AJ even with all his faults but I never in my life imagined that Nick would settle down again after the crap with his ex.”

Jessa shrugged. “I dunno. The tour takes up so much time that I really hadn’t thought about how it feels.”

Rochelle’s phone rang as she opened her mouth to ask another question. “Hello?”

Jessa glanced around as Rochelle talked on the phone. From her side of the conversation it was either AJ or someone she worked with. She sipped her drink and thought about what Rochelle had asked. The media interest in them hadn’t died down as much as she’d hoped, especially after a raw video of Lance showing up at their ‘date’ in NYC had surfaced.

Jessa had figured many people would be sympathetic towards Lance, especially after he’d taken such a big chance on his career by letting people know he was gay after they’d broken up. A lot of women, especially Backstreet fans, had sided with Jessa’s side of the ordeal and had whole heartedly approved of her relationship with Nick. The last few concerts some of the fans who’d gotten VIP passes to meet the guys and take tours of backstage had told Nick that they felt like they could relate more to Jessa as a down to earth person.

Jessa mentally picture Nick as she’d seen him that morning before the guys had left for their interviews. Even though they’d gone on several ‘dates’ since NYC, it felt like two friends who mutually understood one another’s past heart aches and desires to not experience that heart ache again. At least that’s how Jessa felt about it. Rochelle had been brought in on the ruse that Leighanne had created so that no one would be caught unaware in the inner group.  As she sipped on her drink, a movement from the left caught Jessa’s eye. Two girls were slowly approaching them with what looked like markers and some sort of picture or poster. “Um…can we have your autographs?” One of the girls squeaked out, her face turning red.

Rochelle smiled as she put her phone down. Either the conversation had ended or she’d put them on hold. “Of course.”

Jessa felt stunned. She’d never imagined fans would ask for her autograph. The poster/picture each of the girls had was a fan made poster of the Backstreet wives/girlfriends. It looked like they’d made the posters only recently. “Did you girls make the poster?” Jessa asked as she signed the first one.

“My older sister did.” The second girl said, smiling. “She’s a graphics design student.”

“Tell her she is doing a great job. I like it.” Jessa smiled at her as she handed back the poster.

The girl blushed and nodded. “Thank you I will.” She said. Jessa signed the second poster and they took pictures with the girls.

Jessa felt sky high after that. “That was way to cool.” She said as they hailed a taxi back to the hotel.

Rochelle laughed at her. “First fan signing huh?”

Jessa nodded, her cheeks flushing. “Yeah. You know, it’s weird. When I dated Lance, we had to keep things quiet because at the time there were rumors that N Sync would make another album so I never even thought that this would be part of the experience.” She admitted.

Rochelle clicked her tongue against her teeth. “Did you think at the time they’d actually do that though?”

Jessa shook her head. “No, by that time the rest of guys and Johnny knew Justin would never come back to the group after such success from his solo album. No one bothered to correct the rumors or even release anything official about the group disbanding.”

Rochelle nodded. “I’m not surprised. From a third person perspective, I bet Jive figured that if they didn’t say anything official about their break-up, they’d continue to get more sales from the CD’s and merchandise from fans.”

The cab ride back to the hotel felt like it was short lived. Jessa sighed as she sat down after stashing her bags away. The Boys wouldn't back until later that day and she felt restless. Jessa called down to the hotel service desk and found where their exercise room was. She needed to lose herself in an intense workout and maybe that would calm her down.

*a few hours later*

Sweat dripped down Jessa's back as she ran on the treadmill. She was so concentrated on her breathing and placement of her feet that the door to the exercise room opening and shutting didn't even catch her attention. It had been so long since she'd ran just to lose herself in the motions. Even though the Boys had exercise equipment with them to keep in shape, and the venues usually had an abundance of workout rooms, Jessa had taken to working out in spurts. Thanks to the last few years of living in Vero Beach and walking or biking everywhere, Jessa had gone from being slightly overweight to almost underweight because of how little body fat she had. Since being on tour, she'd managed to keep her slim shape and she was determined to keep it that way.

Brian stood in the doorway of the exercise room, watching Jessa run. He had worked out with her before, but had never seen her working that hard. He noted how sweat soaked her hair was and how she seemed to be lost in her workout. He wondered how long she'd been running to be that soaked with sweat. Brian cleared his throat loudly in hoped to catch her attention as he walked toward her treadmill.

Jessa didn't even notice Brian until he was standing right in front of her treadmill. "Brian!" She gasped, her hands immediately grasping the bars as she stumbled a bit. She gained her footing back and stopped the treadmill. "When did you get here?"

Brian shook his head. "We got back about 2 hours ago." He said. "How long have you been in here?"

Jessa glanced at the clock, her breathing labored. 'Holy!" She gasped. "I've been here way longer than I thought."

Jessa fumbled for her water bottle as she realized how much she had sweated.  Brian looked at her. "You ok?" He asked as she stepped slowly off the treadmill.

"Yeah I'm ok." She nodded. Her legs felt like jello. She must have burned off every single calorie she'd had that day. "I just apparently worked out for 3 hours straight."

Brian raised an eyebrow as he watched Jessa wipe down the treadmill. "That can't be good for you." He said.

Jessa laughed. "Probably not." She agreed. "But it felt nice to lose myself in the movement." She admitted.

"Having trouble?" Brian asked. He and Jessa weren't particularly close as friends because she tended to keep to herself when Leighanne wasn't on tour with them.

Jessa shook her head. "No. Just was feeling restless today." She smiled reassuringly at Brian.

Just at that moment, Nick came into the exercise room. "Hey Frack, have you seen...?" He trailed off as he noticed Jessa drenched in sweat. "There you are." Nick hadn't even finished his sentence when he'd noticed Jessa. "I was just looking for you." He said.

"Hi to you too Frick." Brian teased.

Jessa looked from Brian to Nick. "You were looking for me?" She asked, surprise registering on her face. "Did I miss an appointment or something?" She looked worried for a moment.

"No." Nick smiled. "I was going to ask if you'd had lunch yet."

Jessa shook her head tiredly. "You mean dinner?" She looked at the clock again. "Nick it's almost 7pm."

Nick looked at the clock. "Yeah...dinner. I meant dinner." He said sheepishly.

Jessa and Brian both laughed at Nick. Jessa took a long drink of her water before answering. "I haven't had dinner yet." She told Nick, wiping sweat from her eyes. She fanned herself as she took another drink of water.

Nick eyed her worried. “You ok?” He asked.

“Yeah, I just worked out way longer than intended.” She answered, leaning on the treadmill. “I’m just feeling a bit tired.”

Brian glanced at Nick and held up 3 fingers. ‘Three hours on the treadmill.’ He mouthed to Nick.

“How bout I help you back to your room so you can shower and rest for a bit?” Nick asked, nodding slightly at Brian to show he’d gotten it.

Jessa smiled. “That sounds like a good idea.” She said. “I should stretch too. The last thing I need is to cramp up and get stiff.”

Brian held open the door as Nick insisted Jessa lean on him for support after she’d stretched. “Thanks Brian. Have a good workout.” Nick said as they passed him.

“No problem.” Brian saluted.

Nick walked slowly down the hallway, one arm supporting Jessa as she leaned against him, and the other arm around her shoulders to help stabilize her. “How in the world did you manage to lose track of time while working out?” He asked as they waited for the elevator.

Jessa shook her head. “I just got caught up in the motions of running.” She said. Even though she felt like jello, her heart raced in her chest. She could almost hear it beating out a rhythm so loud that she was afraid Nick could hear it too.

Nick helped her onto the elevator and they leaned against the wall after Nick pressed the button for her floor. Nothing was said as the elevator climbed slowly. Jessa could feel the heat from Nick’s arms and body as he held her steady. She felt her hear race even more as the scent of Nick invaded her senses. ‘What the heck is happening to me?’ She thought.

Nick felt Jessa tense slightly in his arms. “You ok?” He asked, concern lacing his voice.

Jessa nodded her head, not trusting her voice at that moment. She wasn’t sure what would come out of her mouth if she opened it. The doors opened and Nick helped her out of the elevator.

“Hey guys, what’s…Jessa you ok?” AJ’s voice snapped Jessa out of her thoughts.

“Yeah, she’s fine.” Nick said as Jessa nodded. “She lost track of time and worked out for 3 hours straight.”

AJ’s eyebrows shot up. “Holy shit dude.” He whistled. “Need any help getting her back to the room?”

Nick shook his head. “I think we’ll be ok. Thanks for the offer bro.”

AJ said his goodbyes and Nick and Jessa finally arrived at her room. Jessa managed to slide the room key in the door but Nick had to open it.

“Do you want me to stick around in case anything happens?” Nick asked her.

Jessa opened her mouth to say no, but thought better of it. “Yeah, that probably is a good idea.” She admitted as she got her shoes off.

Nick nodded. “I’ll order room service if you don’t mind. I think after a shower you are going to be starving.” He said.

Jessa smiled tiredly. “That’s a good idea.” She agreed. ‘Omg Jessa you sound so stupid right now!’ She thought.

“Any preference on food?” Nick asked as he found the room service menu.

Jessa got her socks off as she shook her head. “Just order what you think might sound good.” She said as she pushed her tired body off the bed. Muscles protested the movement.

“Ok.” Nick smiled reassuringly at Jessa as he picked up the phone. Jessa stiffly made her way to the bathroom.

The door shut and Nick heard the water turn on as he waited for the kitchen to pick up the phone. 


	15. Chapter 14

Jessa found the strength to strip out of her soaked workout clothes. Turning the shower on, she adjusted the water to the perfect temp to help cool herself down. The first few minutes of her shower she didn’t bother to stand. It was much easier to sit and let the water beat down over her as she felt her body relax.

As she shampooed and washed her hair, her mind wandered back to Nick and how his arm around her felt. She shivered from the cool water coming out of the showerhead and her heart realizing what was slowly happening to her. “There’s no way…” She said softly to herself, her hands froze in mid-air. Instinctively her body seemed to start moving out from the shower.

Seeing the suds from the shampoo stopped Jessa in her tracks as she blinked. “What am I doing?” She asked herself softly as she stepped back under the water and turned up the heat. “He’s nothing like Lance was…”She fell silent as she concentrated on finishing her shower.

Meanwhile, Nick had ordered room service and had turned on the TV to pass the time while Jessa was in the shower. He flipped through the channels till what looked like an interesting movie showed up on the screen. He didn’t know the title of it, but it looked like the movie revolved around a horse that was black with a diamond shaped white patch on his forehead. Nick realized with a start that the horse looked like the picture on the front of Jessa’s copy of Black Beauty.

He grew immersed in the movie while waiting for both room service to knock and Jessa to get out of the shower. Before he knew it, the room service had arrived, but Jessa wasn’t out of the shower yet. He could hear her moving around in the bathroom so he wasn’t worried.

A few minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Jessa emerged from the bathroom, a soft blue terry bathrobe covering her. “Food has arrived.” Nick smiled as her eyes lit up at the meal laid out before them.

“Is that….oh my god…Black Beauty is on?!” Jessa had gained some energy back from her shower it seemed as she spotted the movie adaptation of her beloved book.

Nick patted the spot next to him as he sat back on the bed. Jessa practically dived for her food while turning up the volume of the TV. Nick had been sitting in the chair next to the TV so the volume had been low.

Nick realized he really needed to read the book as they watched the movie. Jessa sighed happily as she ate. “I warn you, I will cry.” She said as the scene in front of them showed Black Beauty standing in what looked like a very elegant Victorian mansion as the lady of the house painted him.

“Should I get the tissues ready?” Nick teased her as she reached over and smacked him on the leg without looking.

The food was devoured in no time as the movie progressed. True to her word, Jessa cried during the scene where Black Beauty got sold off to be a cart horse. Nick felt himself tearing up a bit as the movie progressed. It really was a sad story in parts. As the movie progressed to the end of the story, Nick was shocked when Jessa started crying again as Black Beauty was reunited with his favorite groom.

As the last scene where they show Black Beauty running with his old friends from the paddock, Jessa wiped her face. “That movie gets me every time.” She said, sighing softly.

Nick patted her on the back. “I could tell.” He teased.

Jessa turned and smacked him on the shoulder. “And I bet there’s not a single movie out there that could make you cry huh Nick?” She half joked half glared at him.

“Well…the final scenes in The Hollow made me tear up but that’s about…ouch!” Nick fended off Jessa as she smacked him harder on the shoulder.

“Your own movie doesn’t count!” She retorted, a twinkle in her eyes as she moved to face him fully.

Nick grinned at her. “I say it does.” He replied, reaching out and tickling her under the chin.

“Gahh!” Jessa waved her hands at him. “That feels weird!” She moved back out of his reach.

Nick just grinned in response and shifted to tickle her at the ribs. “Ahh! Nick!” Jessa squirmed and tried pushing his hands and arms away. He relentlessly tickled her as she laughed uncontrollably, too weak from laughing to swat him away.

Jessa didn’t even realize how close Nick was to her when he finally stopped tickling her. Nick gazed in her blue-green eyes and all thought fled his mind. His heart picked up speed as they stared at one another.

In that moment, Nick made a split second decision. He leaned in and kissed Jessa.


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very mild suggestive sexual activity (but no actual sexual content....yet)

Jessa’s mind went blank as she looked into Nick’s baby blue eyes. Jessa took a deep breath involuntarily as she felt her heart pick up speed. The next thing she knew, Nick’s lips were on her own. Jessa first instinct was to get away from the intimate contact, but her body betrayed her mind as she felt his warm lips gently pressed against her own. Her heart sped up as Nick’s lips moved against her own as he realized she wasn’t moving away.

Jessa’s mind warred with her body. ‘You need to break it off!’ Her mind seemed to scream out at her body. In response her body seemed to melt into Nick’s embrace.

Nick’s mind registered that Jessa hadn’t pushed him away after he’d started kissing her. He felt her relax into his arms. ‘Am I dreaming?’ Nick wondered to himself. He felt her respond softly to his embrace.

Jessa stopped fighting herself as she realized that there was no turning back from this embrace like the accidental kiss in Florida. In fact, once she stopped trying to fight it mentally, she noticed how soft his lips were and how they seemed to caress her lips in just the right way. Tentatively she pushed back at Nick’s lips and was surprised when he increased the pressure.

Jessa felt Nick’s arms tighten around her as he drew her body close to his. A new sensation blossomed in her body. It felt as if she was burning up but from what she didn’t know.

Nick could feel the heat of her body radiating. ‘Maybe she does feel something for me.’ He thought foggily as he lost himself in the passion that they seemed to be creating.

After what seemed like an eternity, Nick moved from her lips to kiss down her jaw line. There was something about the spot right below her ears that fascinated him. When Jessa made a moan of pleasure, Nick felt himself becoming excited.

Jessa’s breathing seemed to catch as Nick kissed down her neck. The heat her body was putting off seemed to intensify with his actions and a new tingling sensation seemed to radiate from her core. She lost herself in his gentle touches and kisses. Her robe seemed like it was too tight around her waist and she moved a hand to loosen the belt.

Nicks’ breath caught in his throat as he stopped for a moment to gaze at Jessa’s face. The soft glow that radiated from her seemed to intensify as she responded more and more to his touch. The collar of her robe seemed to go slack before he realized she had loosened the belt. He realized suddenly that it had been so long since he’d had sex with a woman that he didn’t have a condom in his wallet or in his belongings. There hadn’t been a need for them when he was single and determined not to have random sexual encounters. He cupped Jessa’s face with a hand. “Baby.” He said softly.

“Hmm?” Jessa opened her eyes when she realized Nick had stopped kissing her. She knew she’d lost the battle against her emotions when she saw Nick gazing softly at her, his lips parted slightly as he breathed in and out.

“I, uh, just realized I don’t have any protection and well…I don’t know how much experience you have or even if you really want this…” Nick trailed off awkwardly as Jessa’s eyes widened.

“Uh….” Jessa swallowed as she came back to her senses. Surprisingly she didn’t feel embarrassed or upset at what had happened. In fact, it felt comforting and familiar. She felt her cheeks redden. “Well um…This would be the most intimate I’ve ever been with someone.” She admitted, blushing even harder as she looked at Nick.

Nick blinked. “Really? Not even with…?” He winced as he realized he’d brought up the past again.

Jessa shook her head. “Don’t feel bad for bringing it up.” She said as she placed a hand on his arm. “To be honest it doesn’t bother me anymore.” She moved to sit with her back against the headboard.  She sighed as she felt her body calming down. “In fact that time in Florida when I tripped and fell on you was my first kiss.”

Nick felt his jaw drop open. “That explains why you were so jumpy.” He said in wonder.

Jessa blushed even harder and turned her head away. “I know it sounds odd these days to hear of a 29 year old who’s never had sex or anything but it’s the truth.”

Nick placed his hand on Jessa’s hand that was fiddling with the spreadsheet. “Jessa, it doesn’t matter. In fact, it makes you that much more endearing to me.” Nick said looking her deep in the eyes. ‘What the hell Carter…you sound like Brian there.’ He thought to himself. But he just couldn’t bring himself to say that he was in love with her, yet. He wanted to make good and sure that she was in love with him before he’d say it.

Jessa smiled at Nick as a single tear appeared out of nowhere to slide gracefully down her cheek. She found she was attracted to Nick in a way that totally blew away her teenage crush with Lance. A tiny part of her screamed that she was making a big mistake but she was tired of seeing how the other Boys acted around their wives and kids. “Nick I…”

Nick placed a finger against her lips. “Shh…” He replied. Nick moved to sit next to her with his back against the headboard. He pulled Jessa close to him and settled her head on his shoulder. “Let’s just relax and take in the moment.” He said.

Jessa felt her body relax as Nick’s warm touch seemed to sooth her. Before she knew it, she was sound asleep on Nick’s shoulder.

Nick felt Jessa’s breathing change into a pattern of sleep. ‘Poor girl wore herself out.’ Nick thought as he gazed down at the sleeping woman next to him. He wasn’t sure what had changed in Jessa, but it seemed she was more ok with him than before. Nick smiled and gently moved Jessa so she was laying comfortably on the bed. Nick was sorely tempted to remove that terry bathrobe she still wore but he restrained himself from the act.

Nick stifled a yawn as he quietly cleaned up the room service tray and set it outside the door. Looking at his cell phone, he was shocked to see it was well after 10pm. Sighing softly he bent down and softly kissed Jessa on the lips before turning away to leave the room.

“Nick….” Jessa sighed softly in her sleep and her hand reach out as if to grab him. She snuggled into her pillow as Nick turned back.

‘Screw it.’ Nick felt impulsive. ‘Let AJ figure out that I didn’t sleep in our room.’ He thought as he stripped down to his underwear and joined Jessa in the bed after turning out the lights. He started in surprise as Jessa actually curled into his body and snuggled up with her head laying on his chest.

Nick stroked Jessa’s head as he felt his own body relaxing into sleep. Who knew what consequences his actions would bring in the morning. 


	17. Chapter 16

Jessa tossed and turned as she was caught in the throes of a bad dream. She woke with a start, gasping for air. Sweat lined her brow. ‘What kind of dream is that?’ She wondered. She realized that she wasn’t alone in the bed. Nick snored quietly beside her, the sheets lowered enough for her to realize that he was wearing only his underwear. She sat up and noticed she was wearing the terry bathrobe from the night before.

She slipped from the bed and managed to find her sleeping clothes without making too much noise. Going into the bathroom, she quickly changed clothes. Immediately she felt much better. The dream had shocked her awake enough to realize that her neck was tender from all the attention that Nick had given that part of her body. Turning her head she gasped as she noticed the small hickey looking mark by her ear. Everyone would be giving them shit tomorrow for sure.

Jessa knew it would be a bit before she could go back to sleep. She stared at her image in the mirror. The woman that stared back in the mirror had disheveled hair and flushed face, but Jessa could see the subtle changes especially in her eyes. ‘Am I doing the right thing?’ She thought as she gently rubbed over her neck. She wasn’t sure.

Jessa sighed as she sat down on the edge of the bathtub. She was scared, that she knew. If she thought about it, the idea of taking her relationship with Nick from a platonic one to romantic could have serious consequences on her heart. Knowing now that she was thinking about Nick, she’d never get back to sleep. Unconsciously she raised a hand to her lips.

Jessa searched deep within herself that night. She eventually left the bathroom and lay on the bed while Nick slept soundly next to her. A part of her wondered if she’d felt attracted to Nick from the moment she’d met him years before in Orlando. She thought back to that time. How Nick had held her hand longer than a normal handshake or how he’d seemed to look into her eyes sincerely.

She took a deep breath and focused her mind on how Lance had acted around her during that time. The way he avoided her eyes in the beginning during conversations or how he seemed to direct things back to between JC and herself. Lance had always resisted going out whenever JC wanted them to hang out together, but JC had almost always won out. Jessa’s eyebrows furrowed together as she concentrated on her memories of how Lance had treated her when he’d asked her out. It was like he had forced himself to do so. All the signs that she’d ignored or missed came flooding into her mind like a rusty faucet that had finally been scrubbed clean.

‘From the beginning, Lance had been struggling with coming to terms with himself being gay.’ Jessa thought, the realization dawning on her as Nick shifted in the bed. She’d intentionally ignored the signs that Lance had never been interested in her as a woman, choosing then to believe that he was incredibly shy around her.

Jessa turned and gazed at Nick. It was like day and night. Even before the media attention in New York, Nick had been interested in her, she realized. He’d always asked how she was doing when she’d been living back in Florida. The few times he’d been home he’d always made efforts to see her even when he was just her client. Jessa traced Nick’s jawline with her eyes. His breathing was deep and even, his face relaxed as he slept peacefully. She could see the laugh lines around his eyes and mouth. Could she have a good relationship with this man?

Jessa relaxed as she studied Nick’s face. Would she ruin a good friendship by giving this man her heart? Would the benefits outweigh the risks? What would happen when the tour was over and she went back to Vero Beach to resume her life? Too many questions remained unanswered as Jessa slowly drifted back to sleep.


	18. Chapter 17

A knock on Jessa’s door roused Nick from his sleep. He got out of the bed and walked to the door. “Yeah?”

AJ stared back at him, arms crossed. “Dude. You’ve got 15 minutes to get ready for the radio interview.”

Nick groaned, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “Crap. I forgot about that.”

AJ eyeballed him. “Hurry up man.” He turned to walk away.

Nick shut the door and glanced at Jessa sleeping in the bed. He sighed. He dressed quickly. He pressed a kiss to Jessa’s forehead and slipped out the door. Management would kill him for being late, but he couldn’t help it.

After the lecture from Johnny about being on time, Nick and the rest of the group found themselves waiting at the radio station to be interviewed. Finally they were on the air. Nick found himself distracted as the DJ asked Brian how he felt the tour was going and what fans could expect once they returned to the states after spending the fall and winter over in Asia and Europe.

Suddenly Nick felt Brian elbow him in the ribs. “I’m sorry, what were you asking?” Nick asked the DJ politely as he smiled apologetically at her.

The DJ laughed. “You must be thinking of your girlfriend.” She teased as Nick blushed in embarrassment. He’d never spaced out on an interview before. “I’m curious now. How has being on the road affected your relationship?”

*meanwhile at the hotel*

Jessa stretched and reached over to find empty bed space as she slowly woke up. She sat up suddenly, wondering if she’d dreamt that Nick had slept next to her all night.

“Hey sleepyhead!” A female voice called through the door.

“Ugh.” Jessa groaned as her body protested getting up. “I’m up.” She called as she shuffled to the door. She winced as she rubbed her neck.

Opening the door revealed Rochelle standing there. “Finally!” She said, holding up a large coffee from Starbucks. “I’ve been knocking and calling your name for 10 minutes!” She handed Jessa the treat.

Jessa accepted the coffee and went to sit back down on the bed. “Sorry. I over exerted myself yesterday working out.” She sighed as she took a sip of the much needed beverage.

Rochelle smirked. “I know. AJ told me he saw Nick helping you back.” She looked closely at Jessa. “What did you do to your neck?”

Jessa felt her cheeks flush red hot. “Uh…I’m not quite sure.” She mumbled, feeling embarrassed.

Rochelle laughed. “Oh I’m just teasing you. After the Boys are done with their radio interview, we have a group meeting with Johnny to make sure that we’re prepared for going to Japan next week.”

“Ah, I forgot totally we would be heading there next week.” Jessa took a long drink of her coffee.

Rochelle eyed the other woman. There was something different about Jessa than yesterday Rochelle thought. “So, spill girl. What happened with you and Nick last night?”

Jessa felt herself blushing again. “We watched a movie.” She said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Rochelle raised an eyebrow. “From that hickey on your neck and how you’re blushing, it was more than just watching a movie.”

Jessa sighed, knowing that Rochelle would pry everything out of her eventually. She told Rochelle what had transpired between her and Nick only leaving out some of the more intimate details. “I’m so conflicted.” Jessa put her head into her hands. “I just….I’m scared.” She admitted.

Rochelle moved to sit next to Jessa. She put an arm around Jessa and smiled. “Girl, there is nothing to be scared of.” She soothed. “It’s natural for you to be conflicted given your past love life but I think Nick really likes you. You already know he’d treat you right.” Rochelle said.

Jessa looked up at her. “That’s the thing. My past love life was nothing but a one sided crush.” She said. “I realized it last night when I couldn’t sleep.”

Rochelle knew about her past involving Lance. “How do you figure that?”

Jessa told her about her realizations about Lance. “It makes sense. I knew he’d been seeing a therapist but I’d never given it a second thought.” Jessa said.

Rochelle pursed her lips and nodded. “I can see how you would have ignored the signs.” She took a deep breath. “So then that means what your feeling for Nick is totally different and completely new to you.”

Jessa nodded. “I’m not sure what to do.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I’m worried that I’m making a mistake, but at the same time I wonder what it’s like to have a real relationship. I’m scared that my heart will be broken. I mean, what happens when the tour is done and we go back home?” Jessa looked at Rochelle, eyes wide. “I’m scared that my feelings are only because of the tour and being close with Nick on the bus.”

Rochelle patted Jessa on the back. “From the moment I saw how Nick looked at you, I think his feelings are genuine.” She said. “I wouldn’t doubt for a second what he feels for you and what you feel for him are real and they wouldn’t subside once the tour is over.” Rochelle glanced at her watch. “Oh crap. They will be back soon.” She looked Jessa in the eyes. “The only advice I can give you is don’t regret anything in life. Even if you experience heart break and pain, as the old saying goes: Tis better to live and love than to have lived and never loved at all.”

They stood up. “I should get ready for the meeting.” Jessa sighed.

Rochelle gave Jessa a hug. “I’ll see you in a little bit in the main suite.” She left, smiling.

Jessa turned and surveyed the room. She sighed and decided to shower and dress before she got caught up in something. The maids would have a hay day with her room. The bedding was spread out with the main cover kicked to the floor and the extra pillows had been tossed to the floor haphazardly. Once showered and dressed, Jessa realized she was hungry. Hopefully they’d have lunch while going over the itinerary.

For the moment she chose not to think about Nick as she attempted to cover up the hickey on her neck. Whenever she thought about Nick her mind went to the events the night before and she could feel herself getting nervous and excited at the same time. She wondered what would happen to her emotions when she saw Nick in the meeting. After leaving her room, she waited nervously for the elevator. Why was she nervous?

After Nick got grilled by the DJ in retaliation for being distracted during the interview, he sighed in relief as they piled into the van back to the hotel. They’d already been informed that Johnny wanted a meeting to go over what they would need before going over to Japan for their second leg of the tour.

“Dude, what the heck happened back there?” Howie asked Nick, surprising everyone.

AJ smirked. “Might have been something to do with why he was late…” He trailed off smirking at Nick.

Howie and Brian both looked at Nick. “What is he talking about?” Brian asked, raising an eyebrow.

Nick could feel himself blushing. “I, uh, fell asleep last night in Jessa’s room.” He admitted sheepishly.

Howie snorted and shook his head. “And that’s why you’ve been distracted all morning?”

Brian nodded. “Unless something major happened, I call bullshit.” He added.

Nick looked at Brian. It was rare for the older man to swear. “Guys I don’t want to talk about it…it’s kind of…well.” Nick rubbed the back of his neck as he flushed redder.

AJ nudged Nick. “Finally did it huh Carter?” He teased.

“I…no…not exactly.” Nick sputtered, thrown off by how much teasing he was getting from the guys. They hadn’t teased him before like this. Was it because they all genuinely liked Jessa. Even though they all knew the relationship was a ruse for the public, Brian and AJ both suspected that Nick had real feelings for her.

AJ smacked him on the back. “Dude, no reason to be shy!” He grinned.

Brian and Howie exchanged glances as Nick continued to protest AJ’s assumptions. “Look we’re back at the hotel.” Howie said, giving Nick some relief from AJ’s relentless teasing.

Nick practically bolted out of the van to get away from AJ. A small handful of fans had found their hotel and started screaming as Nick emerged from the van. Bodyguards helped keep the fans from mobbing Nick as he smiled at the fans. The rest followed behind. Because they had a concert that night, they didn’t stop for the fans. “See us at the concert tonight ladies!” AJ hollered at them as they got inside the lobby.

Nick fell silent as they entered the elevator. How would she react when they entered the room? Nick knew they all were required to be at the meeting. Would she be shy or smile at him?

The door opened and Jessa looked up from her phone. She’d texted Anna to see how the house was doing. Her heart skipped a beat as Nick’s tall lanky form glided through the door. She found herself smiling brightly at him.

Nick’s face broke out into a smile at seeing Jessa smiling back at him. Unbeknownst to either of them, the rest of the people in the room noticed when Nick and Jessa smiled at each other.

Johnny came in and cleared his throat. “Let’s get this started.” He said, looking at the group.


	19. Chapter 18

The meeting took longer than Jessa had expected. The Boys barely had time to eat a quick lunch before being swept off to the venue for the concert. By the time the concert was over and they arrived at the hotel, Jessa had already gone to bed. She’d stayed at the hotel this time. Word had circulated that the radio interviewer had cornered Nick on their relationship and Jessa didn’t feel like getting more attention that night.

Rochelle was nice enough to stay behind with her. They stayed in her room, watching some movies and enjoying some girl time. After LA the rest of the week seemed to fly by. All too soon it was time to pack and go to the airport to fly to Japan.

Johnny pulled Jessa aside. “I know you’ve enjoyed a bit of freedom while on the tour but I should tell you, the Japanese fans are just as crazy as the US fans were back in the late 90’s.” He told her. “They try to sneak into the hotel rooms or the venues.”

Jessa nodded. “Nick told me about some of the things that happened on the last tour.” She said. “Should I be worried?”

Johnny shook his head. “No.” He sighed. “I think we’ll see how things are handled the first couple of days we are in Osaka.” He placed a hand on Jessa’s shoulder. “If the fans get out of hand we may have to get a bodyguard for you and the other girls.”

Leighanne and Baylee were rejoining them in Japan. Leigh had decided to stay in the States because her due date was getting closer. Howie was starting to worry that she’d go into early labor while they were in Japan. They knew Howie desperately wanted to be with Leigh when she went into labor.

It seemed like things were moving faster than before. Once they boarded the plan for Japan, both Brian and Howie fell asleep. Rochelle and AJ were whispering quietly in the back of first class. Jessa looked over at Nick. They’d barely been around each other since that night in the hotel. Nick had been awake while the plane took off, but had fallen asleep once they hit cruising altitude. First class wasn’t as crowded as Jessa had expected. In fact, there were only a handful of other people in first class that seemed to ignore the fact that they were in the same plane as the Backstreet Boys.

Jessa felt her eyes drooping as the air flight attendant walked by. “Here let me get you a pillow hun.” She said, noting how Jessa seemed to be falling asleep. AJ and Rochelle were trying to get the settings for his new camera figured out so he could start taking pictures. He wanted to start with this flight since it’d be the only chance to get the guys in candid shots. “Aha!” Rochelle cheered quietly as they got the final setting figured out. AJ peeked over the seats ahead of him to see what everyone was up to. He got up and walked towards where Brian and Howie were sleeping and took some shots of them before spying Nicks’ blonde head in the seats ahead.

AJ put a finger to his lips as he saw the flight attendant had spotted him taking pictures. He walked close enough to tell her what he was doing. The flight attendant smiled and pointed towards Nick and Jessa and then motioned taking a picture with her fingers. AJ grinned and nodded in thanks to her. He angled the camera very specifically and captured one of the most perfects shots he’d ever get to take of the two. Since the first class on this flight was nice and spacey, people could lean back in their seats as if they were in a bed. It was one of the best airlines Japan had to offer.

AJ went back to Rochelle and showed her the picture of Nick and Jessa. Jessa had finally fallen asleep and had curled up next to Nick with her head resting on his shoulder as they had both leaned back their seats all the way. Nick had moved his head so he looked like he was smiling at the top of Jessa’s head while asleep.

“I think that one deserves to be printed and framed for them.” Rochelle said as she saw the picture.

“Yeah me too.” AJ said, pleased with how the picture turned out.

The flight was about 10 hours long. It pretty much was a full day of travel for them. One by one the others woke half way through the flight to stretch, go to the bathroom and eat the meal that came on the flight.

Nick glanced at Jessa as they ate. Nothing had been said since they woke up but Nick didn’t sense any awkwardness coming from her. Maybe she was waiting for him to say something? He mentally shook his head. He couldn’t talk to her about it on the plane even if they whispered.

The paparazzi still hadn’t died down on their pursuit of any PDA between the couple. Nick hadn’t broached the subject with Jessa before that night in the hotel and it had completely slipped his mind afterwards.

Jessa smiled as she caught Nick eyeballing her. “What do I have something on my face?” She asked innocently as she turned and caught Nick.

Nick’s cheeks faintly turned red. “Uh. No. Can’t a guy admire his girlfriend?” He asked.

Jessa didn’t answer. Instead she leaned over and gave Nick a quick peck on the lips and went back to her meal.

Nick almost asked her why she’d kissed him until he realized that either she was playing the public part of being his girlfriend, or had just impulsively wanted to kiss him.

Jessa glanced at Nick after she’d gone back to her meal. Nick hadn’t touched it since she kissed him. Would he accept her acting more affectionate in public? She hadn’t been sure of the move until she’d done it.

Nick finally went back to his meal, neither of them noticing that across the aisle a non-descript man had taken a picture of their first public display of affection. The photo was sure to make him money.

The rest of the flight was uneventful. Jessa had eventually pulled out a book and was reading quietly while Nick listened to his iPod. Brian had noticed PDA between them and it had spawned an idea for a song in his head.

Howie had fallen back asleep. He knew they’d be lucky to get more than a few hours’ sleep the first couple of days in Tokyo. They’d spend the 2 days getting used to the time change and a culture shock before heading to Osaka for their rehearsal with the Asian tour crew and stage.

Rochelle and AJ had fallen asleep as well, neither of them had had the heart to tell Nick or Jessa of the photo AJ had taken. Rochelle wanted it to be a present from them at Christmas. By then they’d be in Europe and hopefully they’d get to take a break to visit family for the holidays.

*later at the hotel*

Jessa lay on the bed. It was late according to Japan Standard Time but she found she couldn’t sleep. Once she’d seen a glimpse of the city, Jessa fell instantly in love with Tokyo. The simple way the Japanese treated each other in public and how the staff at the hotel acted, she loved the country even more. Her culture shock was minimal thankfully.

For some strange reason, AJ had managed to convince Johnny to let Rochelle room with him and have Nick room with Jessa. She glanced over at the second bed. Nick had gone to the workout room to let some pent up energy off. Jessa sighed. A beeping sound alerted Jessa to the fact that Nick was back. Jessa knew they would have to talk about what had transpired between them at the hotel in LA and on the plane.

Nick walked into the room and felt his knees go weak as Jessa sat up in her bed looking at him. “So you couldn’t sleep either huh?” He asked, putting his room key down and sitting on the cover of his bed. He hadn’t worked out too hard, just enough to work up a light sweat. He glanced up at Jessa.

She shook her head. “I feel kind of restless but not enough to do something about it.” She said.

Nick sat up after taking his shoes off. He took a deep breath. “So, what was that about in the plane?” He figured the time to talk about it was now or never.

Jessa blushed. “Well, I figured since we’re supposed to be madly in love, we should show some affection in public.”

Nick laughed. “We hadn’t talked about that, I forgot.” He said.

Jessa patted the space by her on the bed. “Well now’s a good time to talk about it…among other things.” She said smiling at him.

Nick moved to sit in front of her. He took a deep breath and decided to go for the obvious question that had been in his head. “Do you want a real relationship?” He blurted. “Not this public fake relationship we’ve created thanks to Leighanne, but a real one.”

Jessa opened as if to answer, then shut her mouth. She hummed as she thought about it, her head tilting to one side. She looked straight into Nick’s eyes. “I…I want to…but I’m scared.” She said, deciding that being honest with Nick would be the best way to go. “I’ve never really been in a real relationship and…” Her voice cut off as Nick put a finger over her mouth.

“I’m scared a bit too.” He confessed. “I know you haven’t experienced a lot of things romantically and I would like to be the one to show you how good love can be.”

Jessa’s eyes widened at his words. Here was Nick Carter, a man who’d had past relationships that were much publicized and he was scared? “But Nick…are you sure? I mean, not taking the thing with Lance into account, you’re dealing with someone who’s never really been in love or anything of the sort.” She asked incredulously.

Nick nodded. “I’m serious.” He said. “I don’t know if it was obvious to you in LA, but I have feelings for you Jessa.” Nick looked at her, feeling his emotions bubbling up to the surface. “I’ve had them for a while now.”

Jessa took a good look at the man in front of her. Here was a man, a real man, one she was attracted to, telling her first that he liked her! She’d known he was attracted to her from the night in LA but to hear that he had real feelings for her was eye opening. Usually it was Jessa confessing feelings to the guy only to be shot down because she was considered to plain, fat or ugly growing up.

Nick waited patiently as he could tell Jessa was in serious thought mode. He began to wonder if he’d overstepped his boundaries when Jessa took his hands in his.

“I’d very much like to have a real relationship with you.” Jessa said finally, a smile crossing her face.

Nick felt his heart swell with emotion. She’d all but admitted she had the beginnings of romantic feelings for him too! Nick smiled tenderly at her, leaning in and giving her a soft gentle kiss.


	20. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING!! There is sexual content in this chapter**

Jessa responded shyly to his kiss. She remembered how good it felt when he’d kissed her before but now…it felt like the whole world had changed. His kiss was soft and warm and his lips were just as soft as before. This time, there was no hesitation as she pressed herself closer to Nick, seeking out his warm embrace.

There was something magical to Nick in the way Jessa pressed closer to him. He could feel his body responding to her. If the night in LA hadn’t happened, Nick wouldn’t have been prepared this time in case she wanted to take things further than before. He would be damn patient if she didn’t and he didn’t want to hurt her in any way both physically and emotionally by doing something she didn’t want.

The way Nick’s hands slid over Jessa’s shoulders to pull her close to him excited Jessa. She felt her body heat rise as Nick deepened the kiss. She wondered briefly if what she was doing was right. Throughout high school and the majority of her early twenties, she’d never been interested in sex. It didn’t help that before she’d met Lance and moved to Florida, she’d been overweight and been told by so many guys at that point that she was too ugly to even be seen in public, let alone have a relationship or sex.

Jessa forced herself to blank her mind as she felt Nick shift his body so they were more comfortable. His embrace felt so good that she lost herself in his caress. Her arms had been at her sides but now they slid easily over his broad shoulders as she felt her body responding to his warmth.

She grew brave as she pressed her hands against the back of Nick’s neck and pull him even deeper into their embrace. She felt Nicks hands tighten against her back and a groan deep in his throat. So he liked that? She mentally noted the turn on as Nick’s hands moved down to press against her lower back softly.

All Nick could feel or smell was Jessa’s sweet scent and her hands pressing him closer. His lower body pulsated in response and he moaned low in his throat. She was going to torture him! He moved his hands lower, pausing at her lower back before coming to rest on her hips. His fingers tightened as he felt his body heat rise and respond to the growing desire to make love to his beautiful girlfriend.

She made no move to pull away from his embrace or his hand from slowly exploring the line of her body. His hands moved up and down her sides slowly, careful not to touch her in a way she didn’t want. As his hands softly moved up close to her middle ribs, he felt her press her chest closer to him as a moan bubbled up from her body.

Nick reluctantly pulled back a bit to catch his breath and look at her. “Do you want this to go further?” He asked softly, noting how she’d looked a bit disappointed when he’d pulled away from her lips.

“Teach me how to love you.” Jessa shocked even herself when the words slipped easily out of her mouth. “I want this.” She added almost as an afterthought in response to his question.

“Lay back on the bed sweetheart.” Nick swallowed hard as he moved to lay next to her. His breath caught in his throat as he gazed down upon Jessa. Her lips were swollen from his kisses and tinted a rose colored hue from the attention they’d received. He leaned down over her and kissed her lips again gently. “First, the anticipation builds.” He whispered against her lips before moving down to press a kiss to her throat. One of his hands he kept to balance himself while the other hand reached over and for the first time, gently cupped her clothing covered breast. He knew eventually their clothing would have to go, but he wanted to savor this moment, and cherish it. She was offering herself body and soul for him to love. He shivered in anticipation.

Jessa arched when she felt Nick touch her where no one had touched her before. The tingling sensation she’d felt back in LA bloomed again as Nick kissed down her throat. She felt him shiver in response. Nick softly caressed her chest, her t-shirt riding slowly up her belly. She knew she’d be losing her shirt soon but Nick surprised her by shaking his head when she tried to sit up to pull it off.

Nick moved so he was crouched by her feet. She waited with bated breath as he rubbed first her left foot, and then her right. He worked his way up her legs. He moved his hands over her hips and gently worked his way down until he was just shy of touching where her most intimate spot was. He could feel the heat radiating off of her body. Jessa opened her eyes as Nick’s hand stopped moving. She gazed down at him noticing for the first time that he was bulging through his workout shorts. She shivered as she realized what he was going to be doing.

Nick looked at Jessa looking back at him. Their eyes locked as he moved a hand to cup her most intimately through her clothing. What felt like a bolt of electricity shot through Jessa as she felt his hand moving.  She arched up and gasped as he touched her.

Nick smiled as she arched. A thrill of excitement raced up his spine. He was really glad now that he’d gotten protection in case this happened. Feeling satisfied that her body was anticipating the next move, Nick moved back up to sit next to her, removing his shirt in the process. He smiled as she gazed upon his defined chest and stomach. She reached out and softly touched his shoulder before moving down to his pectoral muscles. Nick relaxed as Jessa grew bold enough to explore the hard and soft lines of his upper body. He grew even harder in anticipation as she smiled.

Finally he reached up and pulled Jessa up to kiss her again. He pulled her body over his with no effort, settling her directly over him. They both gasped audibly when their centers made contact. “I don’t think I can hold back.” He said honestly looking up at her.

Nick reached up and pulled her shirt over her head, exposing her upper body fully to him. He nodded in satisfaction. “Very well made.” He said, reaching out to lightly trace around her breast. The sensation caused her to involuntarily press into him. Nick groaned again.

“Nick please.” She whimpered as she shuddered. Her core felt hot and damp. “I need…” He caught her in firey kiss that left her breathless. He gently moved her off of him.

“If we’re going to do this, we need protection.” He said in response to her confused look. He pulled a package out of his bag laying on the other bed.

Nick turned and came back to the bed. He smiled at Jessa and helped her take off her pants and underwear. His breath caught in his throat as she was exposed to him completely. 

Nick felt her hands tug at his shorts. She was bound and determined to make him lose control of himself tonight. He helped her pull his shorts down to expose himself to her.  Jessa gasped softly as his lower half came in full view. Nick was well endowed in that area.

Nick lay down beside her, reaching out to cup her cheek in his hand and pulled her in for another kiss. “Are you really sure about this?” He asked again as he turned his body toward her.

Jessa nodded. “I’m sure.” She said, a husky quality to her voice.

Nick tore open the package and placed the condom on. He moved and gently spread her legs, maneuvering so that he was hovering over her. He knew this part would hurt her. “This may hurt a bit.” He warned as he started pressing himself into her.

Jessa nodded. She may be a virgin, but she wasn’t ignorant of what sex was. She felt him pressing into her where no one had ever touched her before. Nick slowly, gently moved deeper inside of her until he felt a barrier to his entry. He stopped, looking back up at Jessa. She was watching him with eyes half closed. “Jessa.” He said her name softly.

“Hm..?” She looked up at him. Nick leaned down and kissed her, trying to soften the impact of what he was about to do. As she relaxed and responded to his kiss, he pulled back a fraction and then with force tore through the barrier that had been her virginity.

Jessa felt it tear, the pain causing her to cry out into Nick’s kiss. She knew it would hurt but not like that! Nick stilled himself, still kissing her as he felt her tense up. He continued to kiss her, not wanting to hurt her any further. Slowly he felt her relaxing again as she adjusted to him.

“You ok?” Nick asked as he moved up a little to look at her. A tear had escaped from her eyes from the pain. He kissed them away from her eyes. She opened them and looked up at him.

“I think so.” She responded. “The pain faded quickly.”

Nick gently moved up inside of her. He could feel how slick she was on the inside. He noticed she relaxed even further when he moved. “If it becomes too painful, let me know. I don’t want to hurt you.” He said.

Jessa nodded and place her hands around his neck as he leaned back down to kiss her again. He moved until he was fully inside of her. It took all of his self-control to not pound into her over and over again until he came. He slowly rocking back and forth inside her, watching her face for any sign of discomfort. Her first orgasm nearly threatened to overwhelm him. He hadn’t expect that so quickly!

Jessa felt herself growing excited as Nick made love to her. She responded more and more to his gentle rocking and felt herself suddenly gasping for breath as she had her first orgasm. She gripped Nick by the shoulders as she arched against his chest.

Nick continued to stoke the fire and give Jessa more than one orgasm. He was determined her first experience would be mind blowing. Finally Nick felt his own orgasm explode as he collapsed down onto Jessa in mid orgasm.

“Oh god.” He pressed his face into her shoulder, shuddering almost violently as he came. His heart beat wildly as he felt more than heard Jessa gasping for breath. They lay spent for a moment before Nick propped himself up on one elbow to gaze down at Jessa.

Jessa felt Nick move a little. She opened her eyes and felt blown away at the emotions showing in Nick’s eyes. He leaned down and pressed a kiss against her lips. “How was the first lesson?” He teased good naturedly.

Jessa blushed. “I think with how mind blowing this one was, that the next lesson will be earth-shattering.” She teased back.

Nick didn’t want to move but he knew if they didn’t get some sleep soon they would be dragging all day. He reluctantly moved off Jessa’s body, carefully discarding the condom in the trashcan. “How do you feel down there?” He asked, as she moved.

Jessa took a moment to answer as she moved off the bed. “I don’t feel sore if that’s what you mean.” She said. “But I may be later.”

Nick nodded. “Good.” He stretched, not caring in the least about his nudity. He walked over and enveloped Jessa into his arms. “Thank you.” He said.

“For what?” Jessa looked up at him.

“For giving me a precious gift.” He said, smoothing down her disheveled hair. “For taking a chance with me.”

Jessa blushed and snuggled into his arms a moment longer before she realized how badly she had to go to the bathroom. Nick chuckled as she found her clothes and went into the bathroom. He picked up his own clothes and found a fresh set of underwear. Out of curiosity he glanced at the bed where they had made love. He winced as he saw the spot of blood on the sheet.


	21. Chapter 20

Jessa pulled her clothes on after going to the bathroom. She’d been surprised as the amount of blood that her virginity had caused. She decided to be safe and put a panty liner on before going back into the room. Nick had thrown some underwear on and was attempting to clean a spot of blood that had dripped onto the bed sheets. “Don’t worry about it.” Jessa said, placing a hand over his. “I’m sure the maids have seen much worse than this on a bed sheet.”

“But what if they say something?” Nick asked.

Jessa smiled. “I can say I spot bled in between my monthly cycles.” She said. “It’s already evident that this is my bed anyway.” Jessa pointed at the fact that Nick had a clothes on his bed already.

“Yeah well, won’t it look weird if I don’t sleep in my bed?” Nick asked. “Cuz there is no way after tonight that I am not sleeping by myself.”

Jessa shook her head as a yawn overtook her. She looked at the clock. Almost 2 hours had gone by since Nick had come back from working out. “We can figure that out in the morning.” She pushed Nick towards the bathroom.

By the time Nick came back from his bed routine, Jessa was sound asleep. He ran a hand through his hair and smiled. He crawled into the bed with her, pulling Jessa’s body close to his. He leaned and kissed her cheek before he settled down and feel into a deep sleep.

Their first day in Japan was to relax and recover from jet lag after their flight. The second day they would be traveling to Osaka to start prepping for their next concert. If anyone noticed the change in Nick or Jessa that first day in Japan, no one said anything to the pair.

They had arrived in Osaka and were in sound check for the concert when the photograph of Jessa kissing Nick surfaced with an article and exploded on the internet. Jessa ended up getting her own bodyguard as they progressed through their Japanese concert dates. Nick found it increasingly frustrating that no one had said a word about the picture or the fact that Nick and Jessa were sharing a room.

Jessa found that she was working harder on the tour than she had in the states. They arrived back in Tokyo the day that Leigh's sister called to inform Howie that Leigh was feeling like she was close to going in labor. Nick was grateful for this as it meant a break in the tour while Howie flew back to the states to greet his first born son, James.

On the day Howie flew out, Brian cornered Nick at the exercise room of the hotel. "So, what to tell me what's happened between you and Jessa?" He asked, eyebrows raised.

Nick smiled and shrugged. "Nothing's happened." He said trying to act nonchalant.

Brian stared at him. "Bullshit."

Nick looked at Brian and broke out into the biggest grin Brian's ever seen on his friend. "Jessa and I are dating for real." He said happily.  "None of that act crap we've been doing for the media."

Brian studied Nick for a moment. “I hope this doesn’t end badly for you.” He said after a moment. “Not that I don’t think Jessa’s a nice girl and all, but you do tend to have bad luck in the relationship department.” Brian added.

Nick nodded. “I feel somehow this is different.” He said, wiping down the barbells he was using to strength train. He sat down on a bench. “I know I’ve had bad judgments in the past with women and I’ve made some poor choices.” Nick sighed. “I swore after Paris I was done dating for a while.”

Brian nodded, sitting down across from Nick. “We’ve been surprised you’ve stayed single this long.” Brian said. “Kevin was even starting to worry about you man.”

Kevin Richardson had always been like a father figure to Nick as they were growing up in the midst of fame in the late 90’s. Nick had always felt that missing piece of the Backstreet family after Kevin decided he needed a break in 2006 from the group to focus on other projects and his family. Nick nodded. “How’s Kevin doing these days?”

Brian chuckled. “Kevin’s fine, and don’t change the subject.” Brian jokingly scolded.

Nick smiled sheepishly. “I just…I can’t describe it Rok.” Nick said, using one of Brian’s nicknames. “She makes me want to be a better man. I want to show her things that she’s never experienced.”

Brian cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean?” He asked, surprise in his voice. “Didn’t she ever go with what’s his face on tour?”

Nick shook his head. “No, she met up with Lance and JC after the group disbanded unofficially.” Nick said. “She was told to keep things hush hush between her and Lance because of the fans.”

“Oh, kind of like with me and Leighanne the first few years.” Brian said, the information registering in his head.

Nick nodded. “Exactly. And then the whole thing with Lance being gay came out and she secluded herself because of it.” Nick said.

Brian nodded thoughtfully. “So what else is different?” He asked.

Nick smiled and grew more animated the more he and Brian talked about how Nick felt Jessa was different than the other women he’d dated in the past. They were in the exercise room long enough that AJ came looking for Brian to tell him that Leighanne had been looking for him.

The next few days were uneventful. Johnny’s foresight to schedule a week off around the time Leigh had been scheduled to go into labor had worked tremendously in the groups favor. Howie called 2 days into their week of to announce the arrival of his son. He’d spend a few more days with Leigh and the baby before joining them on the next tour stop before they went to China.

Jessa had scheduled some time with a local Japanese massage trainer and learned some new techniques that she was more than happy to demonstrate on Nick. She also had gotten some of the supplies that would be sent back to the spa in Florida. Rochelle, Leighanne and Jessa spent some much needed time out sightseeing Tokyo while the guys made some rare appearances on Japanese radio stations and TV.

All too soon the week was over and Howie was on his way back to rejoin the tour. Jessa felt sad to be leaving Japan and vowed that one day she’d return. Being in the majestic country had also sparked a passion for her to learn another language and she’d found that she had an ear for Japanese. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know that Howie's son James was born in early 2009 and that in our reality BSB wasn't doing any touring or album promotion during the first half of 2009. I say this to clarify any possible confusion, since this is a fictional story, so yes I did play with the tour dates and all since I know This is Us wasn't released until October of 09.


	22. Chapter 21

The days and weeks flew by it seemed as the tour resumed. Many nights found Nick and Jessa both passed out from exhaustion and the days off spent sleeping. Before either of them knew it, the holidays were upon them. The last Asian tour date was in the Philippines before they would head back to the states for a much needed break. On their last concert date in Manila, Jessa realized it had been awhile since she’d talked to Anna back in Florida. After checking the time change, she messaged Anna on Skype to see if she was home.

Her laptop beeped at her, indicating an incoming phone call. “Hey girl.” Anna’s voice came over the head set.

“Hey long time no talk.” Jessa replied back, smiling. “I realized I hadn’t talked to you in a while.”

Anna laughed. “I’m not surprised. With the brutal tour dates and being Nick’s girlfriend, I’m surprised you have any free time at all!” She teased.

Jessa laughed. “Well we’ll have a lot of free time coming up. We’re getting a month and a half long break for the holidays before we go to Europe.”

“So…your coming back!?!” Anna squealed excitedly into the phone.

Jessa winced and pulled the headset ear piece away from her ear while Anna screamed in excitement. “Yeah I’m coming back.” She said. “Where else would I go?”

“I thought you’d go to Nick’s family for the holidays. Or go see your own.” Anna replied.

Jessa sighed. “I don’t know about Nick’s family but there is no way I’m going to see mine.” Jessa had practically disowned her family after moving to Florida. They’d thought she was wasting her time by being a massage therapist. “Anyway, our flight is scheduled to leave tomorrow local time. My layover is in LA for a few hours and then I should be landing in Orlando pretty early in the morning 2 days from now.” Jessa told her.

“Is Nick coming back with you?” Anna asked.

“I don’t know. We’ve been so busy that we haven’t had a chance to talk about it.” Jessa replied. She wondered if Nick would spend any time in Vero Beach or with his family before the tour resumed.

The two friends continued to chat in the back area of the venue while the Boys finished up their sound check. “So what are you plans for the holidays?” Brian asked Nick as they took off their mics.

Nick looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’m not sure. I thought maybe just hiding out in Florida for a few weeks would be good. Maybe get a chance to take the boat out.” He said.

“You’re not going to see your siblings?” Brian asked.

Nick shrugged. “I might invite them down to the house for a weekend but that’s about it.” While he loved and worried for his brother and sisters, he knew that trying to be a parent figure to them again would be a disaster. He’d learned that the hard way from the reality show they’d done in 2006.

“What are Jessa’s plans?” Brian’s voice broke into his thoughts.

Nick stood and thought for a moment. “I know she’s planning on going back to Florida but as for family I have no idea.” Nick realized he didn’t know much about Jessa’s family, if anything at all other than they lived back in Nebraska.

They went to shower and relax before the concert. Nick found Jessa on her laptop with a headset on. Nick figured by the way she talked it was Anna on the other end.

“So yeah, we definitely need to do that when I get back.” Jessa spotted Nick coming into the green room and smiled at him. Nick found a piece of paper and a pen and scribbled quickly onto to it and held it up for Jessa to read. She nodded as she laughed at something Anna said.

Nick showered and changed clothes. He wanted to at least look nice for the final meet and greet party of this leg of the tour. He walked back to the green room to find Jessa saying her goodbyes to Anna with the promise she’d call once their flight landed in LA.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Jessa asked, flashing him a smile that made his heart beat wildly at.

“What are your plans for the holiday?” Nick asked, walking over to her and settling down next to her on the couch.

Jessa shook her head. “Nothing, I’m afraid. I’ll spend the entire break in Vero Beach working at the spa probably.”

Nick frowned. “You aren’t going to see your family?”

Jessa frowned, her body going stiff from the mention of family. “No. I wouldn’t see them ever again even if I was dying.”

Nick raised an eyebrow at her. “Bad blood?” He asked.

She sighed. “You could say that. My parents disowned me for becoming a massage therapist and for moving out of the state to Florida." She stood and stretched. "What about you?"

Nick shrugged. "I may have my siblings down for a weekend or something and then go to Rok's house for Christmas or New Years." He said. "I've been doing that for a few years now since my family is all fucked up."

Jessa nodded, not saying anything. She moved and wrapped her arms around Nick's head, pulling him into her body. They stayed like that for awhile before Nick reluctantly pulled away. The meet and greet would be starting soon and while he wouldn't mind being late for it, he knew Johnny would strangle him if he was late to an event with the fans.

Nick stood and pulled Jessa in for a quick hug and a short but sweet kiss on the lips. He grinned when Jessa turned bright red. While she was ok with PDA, it still threw her off guard whenever Nick would kiss her in public or hold her hand. "I'll see you right before we go on stage." Nick said, smiling down at her.

Jessa smiled back, her blue-green eyes sparkling in the light of the room. "Alright." She agreed. "Go make your fans scream." She said, laughter in her voice.

Nick laughed and pulled her in for another quick kiss. "I'd rather make only you scream." He said suggestively wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"Go." Jessa laughed, pushing him towards the door.

The meet and greet went off smoothly with only a few girls fainting when Nick and Brian played an acoustic version of The Perfect Fan. Time seemed to fly during the meet and greet and Nick found himself getting ready to go on stage. Nick relaxed as the clock ticked down before their cue. “Ready?” Jessa appeared next to him behind the curtain.

Nick nodded. “More than ready.” He said, double checking that his mic hadn’t been turned on yet. “Where are you going to be for the concert?”

Jessa tilted her head toward the audience. “Leighanne convinced me to go back out there.” She said. Jessa had stopped sitting in the audience in Japan when she had been mobbed by some of their more daring fans.

Nick reached out and touched her nose. “I’m sure you’ll be safe out there.”

Jessa nodded. “The Philippine fans are great actually. They at least are polite and respectful compared to the Japanese ones.”

“On in 5!” A stage hand yelled.

Jessa smiled as she turned to go to the side area. “I’ll see you after the show.” She said.

“Will do.” Nick blew her a cheesy kiss intending to make her blush and grinned when he got the desired effect. 


	23. Chapter 22

“Oh my god, we’re back in Florida.” Jessa groaned 2 days later as she stepped off the plane in Orlando. Her body ached from both the long ride in a plane from Manila and a lack of sleep. A yawn caught her by surprise as she walked behind Nick and his bodyguard. “I am sleeping on the ride back Carter.” She said, smiling sweetly when Nick glanced back at her tiredly.

“Do we have to go back today?” He almost seemed childish with his words. “I’m tired too.”

“Not my fault someone was too excited after the concert to sleep.” Jessa yawned again. Nick had been bouncing off the walls to the point Jessa had to pin him to the bed in order to get some sleep which had resulted in another round of lovemaking that left Jessa sore in places she never thought possible.

“I got a great idea.” Nick said, perking up a bit. “Hey J, you want to drive us home?”

J was Nick’s bodyguard. He snorted. “Do I look like a chauffeur?” He said.

“I’ll throw in a boat ride and some amazing miles of beach with no zealous fan girls in sight.” Nick tempted him.

J shook his head. “Man I need a break from you sometimes.” He complained good-naturedly. “I think it’s best you two stay in Orlando today and sleep off the jet lag.” He said, folding his arms over a very muscular chest.

“I think we should finish this conversation in the car.” Tina said, eyeballing a group of girls who’d rounded the corner of the parking garage.

Their tiredness turned into being alert as they moved quickly to get the bags in the Jeep that Nick had kept parked in the VIP long term parking lot. One of the perks of that was a driver had gotten the car when Nick presented his ticket to a counter in the airport that Jessa had never seen before. Nick winced as an ear piercing scream penetrated the air and excited female voices could be heard coming closer to them.

Tina and J moved to protect Nick and Jessa as the girls surrounded them. Nick hadn’t had this type of attention since the Black and Blue tour days.  “Step back please.” J said forcefully as one of the girls was pushed into him.

Nick smiled at the girls. “Calm down now ladies.” He said, getting squeals of excitement in response.

Jessa winced a little as the girls screamed. She wasn’t too sure these girls would be nice to her considering she was Nick’s girlfriend and these girls were very obviously fans of Nick. “Nick, Nick! Can we get your autograph?” One girl bounced excitedly to Jessa’s left.

“Nick! We want a picture with you!” Another girl called.

Nick smiled and started signing autographs as J and Tina kept the girls at bay. Jessa sighed almost audibly as she realized she was against the car and Nick was in front of her. Out of the corner of her eyes she spotted some airport guards who were moving quickly down the sidewalk to assist the bodyguards.

Jessa’s relief was short lived as a dark haired girl off to Nicks’ left side spotted her. “It’s the girlfriend!”

“Oh my god, can I take a picture with you and Nick?” One of the other fans squealed, taking Jessa by surprise.

Nick glanced over and met Jessa’s eyes, surprise in his expression. He nodded as the girl pushed her camera at a friend. “This is too cool!” The girl said.

“I want a picture with you both too!” The other girls started calling out. They would have been overwhelmed by the fans if the airport guards hadn't shown up.

After what seemed like forever, they managed to get into the car. Nick sighed audibly as J called ahead to a hotel Nick usually stayed at while in Orlando. Nick glanced over at Jessa, who had fallen asleep almost instantly the moment she got in the car. He was feeling more awake at the moment since the fans had cornered them. His eyes traced the soft lines of Jessa’s face. He smiled as she unconsciously took a deep breath, her lips moving silently as she dreamed. ‘I wonder how she feels about me.’ Nick thought gazing at her thoughtfully, his emotions swelling. ‘I don’t want to scare her if I tell her I love her.’ Nick contemplated ways to find out how she felt about him. It’d been 3 months since they’d started actually dating, though their public relationship had been going on for 6 months. Rumors had already started speculating in the gossip magazines either for Nick proposing marriage, or that they’d broken up and Jessa was finding comfort in her ex-boyfriend’s arms. Nick smiled as she slept.

They managed to get checked into the hotel without any fans following them. J and Tina brought up their luggage as Nick tucked a very sleepy Jessa into bed. She’d woke up just enough to lean on Nick en route to their hotel room. Nick had just settled into bed next to Jessa when he heard a cell phone ringing. Groaning, Nick searched until he found Jessa’s phone in one of her pants pockets.

The caller went to voicemail as Nick got the phone out of the pocket. Nick shrugged. Whomever it was could wait until Jessa woke up. Nick put the phone next to his as he crawled back under the covers but as soon as he got comfortable, Jessa’s phone rang again. It was Anna. Nick figured Jessa wouldn’t mind him answering the phone call seeing as it was her roommate. “Hi Anna.” Nick answered the phone, voice quiet so he didn’t wake Jessa up.

“Hey Nick, is Jessa around?” Anna answered, her voice sounding a bit panicked.

“She’s sleeping at the moment. Why? What’s up?” Nick asked.

“I have a very agitated JC Chasez watching our front door.” Anna replied. “He won’t leave until Jessa talks to him.”

Nick sighed. “Oh man.” He groaned. “I don’t suppose he’d buy the fact that we’re in Orlando and won’t be home till tomorrow will he?”

“Nope.” Came the expected reply. “You could tell him that yourself.” Anna suggested.

Nick heard some shuffling and a door opening and closing before he heard Anna tell JC that he was on the phone. “You know Carter, this doesn’t look pretty.” JC’s voice came over the phone.

“Hello to you too.” Nick replied back cheerfully. “Jessa and I are in Orlando at the moment and won’t be back till tomorrow. Do you think you can stop stalking her roommate now?”

JC sighed audibly into the phone. “This really can’t wait Carter. I’ve got some crazy reporter trying to fish for information about Jessa. She says that if Jessa doesn’t do an exclusive interview with her, she’s going to go to the presses and say that Jessa is just using you to get back at Lance for being gay.”

Nick snorted. “She hasn’t found out about Vero Beach has she?” He asked.

“Not yet.” JC said, his tone losing its hint of agitation. “I’ve kept her trail cold for now but sooner or later someone will find out and all hell will break loose.”

Nick glanced at Jessa’s sleeping form. “I’ll tell Jessa once she wakes up.” He said. “We literally stepped off the plane from overseas an hour ago and Jessa’s badly jet lagged.”

JC sighed. “I’m staying in town till you guys get here.” He said.

Nick wondered about this whole reporter business as he said his goodbyes to JC and then to Anna with a promise that Jessa would call her as soon as she wakes up. It seemed something that JC would make up in order to talk to Jessa physically himself. He finally was able to crawl in beside Jessa and fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.


	24. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning!*
> 
> Sexual content!

The first thing Jessa smelled when she woke up was Nick’s cologne. The first thing she noticed was that they were both tangled up in the sheets of the queen sized bed in a hotel room she barely could remember stepping into.

Nick’s soft snore made Jessa smile unconsciously. She shifted in the bed and studied Nick’s face as he slept. His chest rose and fell with each breath. She traced the line of his face with an invisible finger as she studied him sleeping. Nick on stage was a mad house of emotions and sexual energy that drove the fans wild. From anyone’s perspective it would seem Nick lived and breathed for those precious hours on stage performing for his fans. Nick off stage was like the light bulb had gone from brilliant to semi-soft. He was more subdued and quiet than he portrayed in interviews. The sexual energy he emitted on stage turned into a soft warm caress meant only for Jessa once he got off stage.

Several of the stage hands had commented on Nick’s change in behavior after Jessa had come on tour with them. She’d heard stories of how Nick would go out after the shows and party it up with fans in certain cities on previous tours. How in the past when Kevin was with the group, he and Nick would fight because of his drug and alcohol abuse right alongside AJ.

Jessa hadn’t met Kevin yet, and wasn’t sure she’d ever meet him. Nick talked as if Kevin leaving the group to pursue other interests was a good thing for the group but he never elaborated on it. Shaking her head, Jessa turned her thoughts to herself. She’d heard the rumors from Anna while she was overseas. Would they have to prove to the public that their relationship was real? Jessa loathed the idea of having to do something like a reality tv show or a day in the life of Nick and Jessa special in order to satisfy the gossip rags that they were very much a couple still in their honeymoon phase. Would she be required to prove her love for Nick for the world to see?

Jessa froze, her breathing shallow as she realized what she had just thought. Did she love Nick? Jessa turned from Nick’s still sleeping form to analyze her feelings. She knew that she felt attracted to Nick, especially after their first accidental kiss at his house. Had her feelings grown into love since then? She thought back to the incident in New York when Leighanne had concocted the act of them dating to put rumors to rest for Jessa’s sake. If she hadn’t had feelings for Nick, the whole scheme wouldn’t have worked she realized. Or Nick.

Jessa’s heart suddenly beat faster as she realized that Nick must have some deeper feelings for her as well. The act in front of the media wouldn’t have truly worked if they both hadn’t been able to act like they were in love. Her mind flew over the public dates. Every time Nick showed a tender emotion at her, the fans screamed their approval. The outpouring of support of her over any other girlfriend Nick had ever had. The frenzy of the fans in Japan who just wanted to touch a part of her body after the picture of her kissing Nick on the plane.

Jessa felt like her heart was going to burst from a barrage of emotions. Her mind flew over the way the last 3 months had gone by with the tender looks between them. How Nick had respected her body and how tender he’d been the first time they’d made love. How her heart sped up every time Nick looked her way, or brushed her hand with his at venues.

Nick Carter was in love with her! Jessa gulped as the realization dawned on her. She licked her lips and commanded herself to calm down. The moment she looked over at Nick, still fast asleep, she knew she couldn’t deny her feelings any longer. The scared young woman inside of her slowly disappeared as she opened herself up to her own emotions. The thrill of her heart beating faster in her chest. How her body seemed to warm up and feel happy as she gazed upon his face. The walls she’d tried so hard to build up around her heart to protect it came crashing down in what seemed like seconds. She was head over heels in love with Nick Carter.

*an hour later* (sexual content)

Jessa stepped out of the bathroom, her hair freshly washed and still damp from her shower. Nick was just sitting up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He whistled as she came into view. “Hot damn baby you know how to wake a man up.” He said, letting his eyes roam over her body.

Jessa had a towel wrapped around her body. She’d grown comfortable being nearly naked around Nick in the last few weeks. She blushed fiercely as her eyes met Nick’s. “I’m glad to see someone is up.” She teased, staring pointedly at his crotch.

Nick smirked and stretched, giving Jessa a full view of his body. “I’m always up and ready.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her as she went to the open suitcase on the other bed.

Nick reached out and grasped the edge of the towel, pulling quickly as it slid easily off her body. He felt his desire rising as he heard her intake a breath of surprise.

“Nick!” She turned, one hand covering her chest while the other attempted to take the towel back from him.

“Nope.” He grinned, throwing the towel over the other side of the bed, grabbing Jessa’s hips and pulling her warm body onto his.

She felt his fully erect member pressing into the soft skin of her stomach. A rush of warmth at the contact left her feeling both weak kneed and a growing desire to straddle him and drive them both to exhaustion weakened her.

Nick groaned in surprise and delight as Jessa relaxed on top of him and then kissed him passionately. He felt her running her hands up and down his sides, his erection growing harder with each touch. “Oh god.” He groaned out loud as Jessa shimmed down his body. He almost lost control of himself as he felt her mouth enclose around him. His hands gripped the sheets as she pleasured him with her mouth. “If you don’t stop, I going to cum inside your mouth.” He growled as he felt his balls tighten. Jessa didn’t stop, and Nick cried out in pleasure as he came suddenly. He lost himself for a moment until he realized she’d sucked him dry, cleaned up, and was massaging him to hardness again. He wasn’t sure what the hell had overcome Jessa as he moaned again, his desire rising again as he watched her through half-closed eyelids. She pulled a condom from the bag on the other bed and placed it on the bed next to him.

Jessa wasn’t sure what made her decide to give Nick a blowjob first before making love to him. A part of her had been excited to see how fast she could make him orgasm, and another part had been curious to feel him orgasming inside her mouth. The taste hadn’t been all that bad, but the texture was another thing. She knew she’d probably never do that again unless she was fully prepared.

Jessa kissed Nick, feeling his hard member between their bodies. She could feel herself growing moist as Nick massaged a breast. She reached for the condom as she broke the kiss. Jessa gasped as Nick latched onto her breast, sucking almost hungrily at her nipple. He pressed her body into his as he lavished his tongue on her nipple until she was grinding against him. His other hand massaged the other breast until he broke contact with the first one and latched hungrily onto the second.

“Oh god Nick.” She moaned, one of her hands entangled into his hair, pushing him against her body. He teased and sucked until Jessa felt she couldn’t take anymore. She needed him inside her.

Nick took the condom from her, ripping the wrapper open and almost shaking with need as he rolled it on. He rolled Jessa over and pushed himself into her needing desperately to feel her warm embrace. They made love with a fierce passion. Jessa clawed at Nicks’ back, urging him to thrust harder and faster into her. Nick growled as he thrust in and out of her warm body. Somehow they managed to move positions and suddenly Jessa found herself grinding on top of Nick, his hands guiding her hips. His lips burned a trail of heat from her jawline to her nipples.

“Oh god yes….” Jessa hissed as Nick thrust up into her, his mouth tightening around her nipple. Pleasure and pain coursed through her body as she came fiercely, shuddering as Nick continued to ravish her breast.

Orgasm after orgasm rolled over Jessa’s sweat slicked body. Nick had rolled them back over so he was on top, going harder and faster each time she came. The heat between them was so intense, Jessa couldn’t tell where Nick stopped and she began. Suddenly Nick shuddered, biting down suddenly onto Jessa’s shoulder as he came. He collapsed onto Jessa as they both passed out for a moment.

Nick regained consciousness, realizing that Jessa was underneath him. He groaned, rolling off her body gently. He lay next to her for a moment, wondering what had overcome her. Sitting up, he reached to pull the condom off and was surprised at how sticky it was.

Glancing at the clock, he disposed of the condom in the trash, chuckling as he realized they had spent over an hour straight making love. He chalked up the stickiness to how long they’d been going. He wiped the sweat off Jessa’s brow and gently kissed her cheeks. “Wake up my beauty.” He said, smiling as she opened her eyes.

“Did I pass out?” Jessa asked, realizing how sweat soaked her body was.

“Yeah but so did I.” Nick gave a lazy smile at her.

Jessa felt her heart speed up. A sudden urge to tell him her feelings arose. She bit her tongue to suppress the urge. She smiled back at him and sat up. She felt almost as sore as she did the night they left Manila. Nick hopped in the shower while Jessa cleaned up after their intense love making.

After her second shower of the day, they gathered up their things. It was time to head back to reality for a little bit. Jessa felt a pang of sadness suddenly at the thought that she’d probably be spending her holiday alone. Anna would probably go visit her family, and while last year Jessa had gone with her, this year would be different.

The car ride was uneventful as they sped along the interstate. Nick would glance at Jessa sitting thoughtfully in the passenger seat. He felt himself growing hard again at what she would look like naked on his boat. ‘Stop it Carter. You need to drive.’ He mentally shook himself.

Jessa mulled over the situation that she’d soon be facing with JC. Nick had told her when they checked out of the hotel. Their bodyguards had already gone off for their much needed vacations after they’d gotten settled into the hotel room.


	25. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still more sexual content

“Shit, he’s still here.” Jessa groaned, spotting JC’s head as he waiting in the vehicle next to the house she shared with Anna.

“Want me to stay?” Nick asked, concern lacing his voice.

Jessa glanced up at him. Giving him a reassuring kiss, she smiled. “How about you go home and prepare a nice welcome home party just for 2.” She suggested boldly, giving Nick a sultry look.

“Oh god.” Nick felt himself harden at the intention in Jessa’s voice. “I don’t know what’s come over you girl, but damn its hot!” He groaned.

Jessa laughed. “Good.” She reached down and caressed him through his pants.

“Fuck!” Nick clenched his teeth in an effort not to tear both their clothes off and have her again.

Jessa leaned over and gave Nick a kiss that promised much more than what they’d done earlier. “I’ll call you when I’m headed over to your house.” She said, opening her door.

Before Nick could get out and help Jessa grab her bags, she’d gotten them and waved as she walked up towards the front of her house. He gripped the steering wheel, forcing himself to calm down so he could drive straight to the grocery store. His supply of condoms was dangerously low and he wasn’t sure what Jessa’s stance on going on a birth control pill was.

*at Jessa’s house*

Jessa knew the moment JC spotted her, things were clearly not ok. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was ashen. “Josh?” She asked tentatively, all pretenses of being cold and collected around him gone.

JC’s face broke out into a relieved smile at Jessa. “Thank god you’re here.”

“Nick told me what you told him on the phone.” Jessa said, setting her bags down.

“Can we go inside? I don’t want your neighbors to think I’m crazy.” He said.

Jessa sighed and nodded. JC insisted on helping with her bags as she unlocked the door. Anna wasn’t home, meaning she was at the spa working. The house didn’t look different, but all the same Jessa knew things had changed. “So what’s up?” She asked, busying herself with finding the tea bags and making a couple cups of tea.

“I fucked up.” JC blurted out. “What I told Nick was a lie. There’s no reporter looking for you.” He admitted.

Jessa shrugged. “JC if you wanted to come see me, you didn’t need an excuse. I forgave you a while ago.” She admitted. “I know now that Lance coming out hurt you just as much if not more than it hurt me.”

JC sighed, burying his head into his hands. “How did you cope with this?” He asked, tears falling suddenly from his eyes.

Jessa was taken aback. JC had never cried in front of her, not even the day that Lance came out to them. Her heart ached suddenly. Here she’d basically disappeared from their lives while JC had to stay and cope with the aftermath of it all. She reached over and took JC’s hand in hers. “I balled it up in a wall of ice.” Jessa told him. “It hurt too much then to deal with things and I ran away. I’m sorry. I didn’t think of how it would affect you.”

JC’s shoulders shook as he cried without shame. Anna came home to find that JC was sleeping peacefully on their couch while Jessa had unpacked. “What’s up with him?” She asked, gesturing to JC.

“He’s had an emotional break-down.” Jessa said. “Josh had to deal with everything when I took off.”

Anna studied her best friend. There was something different about Jessa that she couldn’t quite figure out. “Listen, I was planning on going to Nick’s house after this. I hate to leave JC sleeping on the couch with you, but he’s not a bad guy.”

Anna nodded. “It’s ok.” She smiled.

Jessa noticed how Anna had looked at JC. Her best friend had a crush on him! She was getting better at reading people. “Thank you.” She said. “I don’t know if I’ll be back tonight.” She grabbed a bag and stuffed some things into it.

Anna grinned and wiggled her eyebrows at Jessa. “You go girl! Get some of that Carter loving.” She teased.

Jessa grinned mischievously at her. “Oh you have no idea…” She said.

“Jessa!” Anna shrieked, then clapped her hands over her mouth. JC stirred on the couch but didn’t wake up. Anna dragged Jessa back to the laundry room. “Spill girl! What did you do while you were gone?”

Jessa blushed. “Well uh…let’s just say Nick really knows how to move?” She asked, trying not to laugh as Anna gasped.

“Oh my god girl…you gave it up to him?” She grabbed Jessa’s hand and squeezed as Jessa nodded. “Ahh this deserves a toast! My girl’s not a virgin anymore!” She pulled Jessa into a hug. “You go have fun with your man.” She said, completely understanding Jessa’s desire to visit Nick. “I’ll take care of JC. Truth be told, he’s got a sexy ass.”

Jessa laughed. “Anna!”

Anna left the laundry room, noticing JC was still asleep. Jessa packed a couple more items before she walked out into the room. “I’ll call you when I’m on my way home.” She said.

Anna nodded. “Have fun!” She grinned.

Jessa grabbed a key off the key holder near the door. She hadn’t driven her car in a while and it was time to take the car out for a much needed drive.

The cover over the car surprisingly had minimal dust on it. She pulled the cover off and smiled as the dark silver grey of her 03 Focus shown in the dim light of the one car garage. She got in and put the key in the ignition. Turning it, she smiled as the engine turned over with a purr. She rubbed her hands over the steering wheel. She dialed Nick’s cell number as she backed out of the garage.

“Hey there’s my sex fiend. How’d it go?” Nick’s smooth voice came over the speaker.

“Surprisingly it went well.” Jessa responded, her body reacting to his voice. “There was no reporter. JC just couldn’t cope with his emotions anymore and had a breakdown.” She explained.

“Ah.” Nick replied. “You on the way then I take it?”

Jessa smiled. “Yup. You better be ready.” She growled playfully into the phone.

Nick’s audible intake of air set Jessa’s body on fire as she knew her growl had set him on fire. What in the world was with them? She promised Nick she’d be there in a few minutes and hung up the phone. It seemed the moment they were away from the tour and prying eyes, they were all over each other as if one was the air that the other desperately needed to stay alive.

The moment she stepped foot into the door of Nick’s house, he was there, pressing her into the doorframe as he kissed her greedily. Her bag slipped out of her hand as she wrapped her arms around Nick’s neck.

Nick felt her erect nipples through the fabric of her clothes. They’d be lucky enough to eat or sleep the way they were going. His mind went blank as she pressed her body against his. “Carter, if you don’t fuck me in your bed now, I may just scream.” She moaned against him.

“Baby...” He panted, his erection stretching almost painfully against his pants. “I don’t think we’ll get to the bed before I have you screaming my name.”

Nick was right as each article of clothing was shed and he was completely inside of her before they even hit the second floor. The stairs made for a bad place to make love, but a great angle. Nick made her scream his name 3 times before he picked her up and pushed the door open to his bedroom.

Nick lost count of how many times they made love that day. It seemed the moment either of them got any energy to get out of the bed, the other would become aroused and the love making would start all over again. Finally Nick dragged himself away from Jessa and slipped on a robe before going downstairs.

He didn’t know where the bottle of champagne had come from, probably a gift somewhere, but he thought a drink wouldn’t hurt either of them as Nick brought the bottle, 2 glasses and some food to nibble on. The light outside had faded to a light dusk.

Before entering the bedroom, Nick opened the champagne. “Nick?” Jessa’s sleepy voice aroused him instantly.

“Right here.” Nick walked into the room, with the tray. “Fuck can you be any more sexy?” He groaned, his member suddenly erect again and sticking out through his robe.

Jessa licked her lips at the sight of him. “Oh I think you have me beat on that.” She was sitting up in the bed, her hair tousled and the sheet slipping down to expose her breasts.

Nick sat the tray down on the night stand. “I know we don’t usually drink but I think this deserves a toast.” He said, filling the glasses a third of the way with the bubbly liquid.

“Oh a toast?” Jessa asked, trailing her hand down his arm. He shuddered.

“To us.” He said, placing a grape to her lips and gulping as she sucked the grape, and his fingers into her mouth. He gave her a glass and took up his own.

“hmm..” Jessa licked her lips as she swallowed the grape. She took her free hand and did the same to Nick, groaning as he sucked on her fingers a bit longer.

They stared into each other’s eyes as they raised their glasses and clinked them together. “To us.” Jessa said simply before they each took a sip of their champagne.

*hours later*

Jessa wasn’t sure what time it was. She’d gotten up to use the bathroom and found Nick pouring her another drink. Whoever gave him the champagne, had great taste. “Crap.” Nick shook his head, the bottle empty.

Jessa giggled. “It’s ok, we can each take a sip.” She crawled back into the bed.

Nick gave her a sip before his own. He couldn’t believe they were both drunk off one bottle of champagne. The glass was gone before they knew it. Jessa pushed Nick back on the bed and straddled him. She ran her hands over his body as he grew hard. Jessa leaned down and kissed him hard before trailing kisses to his jaw line and over to his ear.

“Oh fuck.” Nick groaned, his hands gripping Jessa’s hips as she sucked his earlobe between her teeth, gently tugging on it.

“I want to make love to you outside.” Jessa announced suddenly.

Nick’s heart quickened. He hadn’t been this drunk in a long time. He grabbed Jessa’s arm as she moved off of him. He wasn’t sure if he was being sane or rational as he cupped her face in his and kissed her sweetly. He had to tell her. “Jessa.” He breathed, her body melting into his. “I love you.”

It took Jessa a moment to realize what Nick had said. “Wha...what?” She asked dumbly, looking Nick in the eyes.

“I love you.” Nick responded. “I’m desperately, hopelessly in love with you.” Nick was afraid that his confession of love had pushed Jessa away. The longer she took to respond, the more nervous Nick got. He stared into her beautiful blue-green eyes and waited breathless for a response.

Jessa slowly took on of Nick’s hands and placed it over her heart. “Say it again.” She whispered.

“I love you.” The heartbeat he felt underneath his fingertips seems to double in a second.

“Again.” She placed a hand over his heart.

“I love you Jessa.” Nick replied feeling her heart rate double again as his sped up to match her heart’s pace. He wasn’t sure where she was going with this.

She threw her arms around Nick and hugged him till he gasped for breath. “I can’t breathe.” He croaked.

“I love you too.” 


	26. Chapter 25

This time they made love slowly, sweetly, all thoughts and pretenses gone. They had both laid their emotions out and found each other wanting. As the high from their orgasms faded, both Nick and Jessa drifted to sleep, completely satisfied.

The bright morning light woke Nick up first. He groaned, holding his head as he sat up. If he was hung over, then Jessa would be as well. He glanced around, his breath stopping as she lay between the sheets, her body facing his. Her face looked more relaxed now then he’d ever seen it before. An idea dawned in his head, and he quietly slipped from the bed, over the empty bottle and glasses.

His eyes took in the mess they had made from the snacks on the tray to the various condom wrappers scattered around the edge of the bed. He was doubly glad he’d bought the store out of their supply. At the rate they were going last night, he probably would have run out. Nick threw on a pair of boxers and headed downstairs.

Jessa woke, her head pounding. Nick’s spot was still warm, so he hadn’t gotten up that long ago. She slowly sat up, cradling her head in her hands. “We’ve got it bad.” She chuckled softly as she took in the mess around the bed. Hearing footsteps on the stairs, she looked up as Nick came into the room, a tray balanced in one hand as he maneuvered through the mess.

“Here’s some aspirin.” Nick said, holding out his other hand.

“Thanks.” Jessa took it and accepted the glass of orange juice he held out.

Nick sat the tray down, a couple pieces of toast on a plate with some jelly. He took a piece and began to munch as Jessa finished her juice. “So, what do you want to do today my heart?” He asked, the new endearment falling easily off his tongue.

Jessa smiled. “I have to go to the spa and bring them the things that I got overseas and see what my schedule is like first.” She said, taking the other piece and putting some jelly on it. “After that I’m all yours.”

Nick grinned. “Well then, first things first. A shower.”

The first time Jessa had stepped into Nick’s bathroom, the walk in shower had caught her eye. The stained glass doors encased an area that was bigger than her bathroom at home. There were 2 faucets and 2 showerheads with plenty of room to spare. Nick surprised Jessa as he stepped into the shower a few minutes after she had. Something told Jessa he’d expected her to stay as her preferred brand of shampoo, conditioner and soap were waiting in the shower for her.

Once they’d finished showering, Nick told her he’d pick her up at the house later in the afternoon so she could catch up more with Anna and JC if he was still at her house, while he cleaned up the aftermath of their intense lovemaking sessions. Nick refused any help from Jessa for cleaning up.

The day flew by quickly. JC had ended up spending the night sleeping on the couch at her house and woke up when Jessa came back from Nick’s. They ate lunch together as it was Anna’s day off from the spa. After a heart to heart talk with JC, Jessa coerced Anna in to helping her take the spa supplies she’d been able to pack away in her bags to the spa.

After getting her schedule and finding she had a week break for Christmas and New Years before she went back on tour, Jessa found her afternoon decidedly free. Anna was taking a nap as JC’s snoring had apparently kept her awake for hours the night before. Jessa tapped the desk as she randomly searched for something on the internet to keep her entertained.

Nick picked her up and took her out for a romantic dinner on his boat where they made love again underneath the stars. “So I never did ask what your plans were for Christmas or New Years.” Nick said holding her close to him under the blankets. The boat rocked gently in the waves.

Jessa shrugged. “I don’t know. I got the week off from the spa, and Anna plans on going to her family’s place. What about you?”

“Well I was hoping you’d like to come with me to Rok’s place in Atlanta for Christmas and Kevin’s place in Kentucky for New years.” Nick said. “I know Kevin wants to meet the woman who tamed the Carter.” He grinned, flexing his arm.

Jessa laughed. “Tamed the Carter?” She laughed even harder. “Don’t tell me those are his words.”

Nick shrugged, a grin lighting up his face. “More or less, yeah. What do you say?”

Jessa nodded. “Sure. I’d love to go with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that ends the sexual content for awhile.


	27. Chapter 26

The weeks flew by. Nick’s siblings came down for a Carter clan get together, and Nick introduced Jessa to them. She could see why Nick was so protective of his brother and sisters. Leslie had a depression issue she was working on treating, Aaron was working on outpatient drug rehab, and Angel was a budding fashion designer out in LA. BJ was flying in later when Jessa had a shift at the spa.

After the weekend with the Carter siblings, Jessa was glad they’d taken a liking to her. BJ had been skeptical at first, but soon warmed up once she saw how Jessa and Nick acted around each other.

“So you’re flying out tomorrow to Atlanta?” Anna asked on the last day they had a shift at the spa. Jessa was exhausted. Between the spa shifts and Nick, she barely had any time to sleep.

“Yeah. I wanted to drive, but Nick said it would be easier to fly and get a rental.” Jess yawned.

Anna clicked her tongue against her teeth. “Girl how many hours of sleep did you get?”

“Um…5 I think?” Jessa counted off on a hand.

“How many hours did you put in yesterday?”

Jessa folded the sheet she’d been holding. “13 hours.”

Anna’s jaw dropped. “You spent more time with Nick than you did sleeping. Is he that much of a sex hound?”

Jessa laughed. “God no. We were going over our travel schedule.”

“I would pull Mom duty on you and say you need sleep tonight but since you’re flying out, it’d probably be better if you spend the night at Nick’s house.” Anna said.

“Yeah but what about you?” Jessa asked, surprised at this turn of events.

“JC called the other day. He and I are going to go out tomorrow.” Anna blushed.

“Ooh girl, now whose got it bad?” Jessa teased her. She was glad for Anna and equally glad for JC. Since the night he broke down at her house, they’d built up their friendship again, and JC had expressed an interest in her roommate.

They quickly folded the last of the laundry for the day and packed up their things. While Anna would be gone for a week, Jessa was heading back on tour 2 weeks after the holidays were over and they were required to be in London a week before to get their bearings straight.

“Oh crap.” Anna stopped suddenly as they were locking the front door. “Do you have a tampon? I think my cycle just started.”

Jessa rooted around in her purse. “Here.” She handed one to Anna and laughed as Anna darted into the bathroom. Suddenly she got to thinking. She and Anna were pretty regular on their schedules. She would have to check the calendar but she would be due to start hers in the next couple of days if Anna had started.

“Damn and here I was hoping I’d get me some of the Chasez.” Anna groaned as she came out of the bathroom.

“You’re early aren’t you?” Jessa wondered.

“Yeah, shocking too!” Anna shook her head. She sighed and locked up the employee entrance. They walked quietly to the house, each absorbed in their own thoughts.

A sound brought Jessa’s thoughts back to the present as she spotted the lights on at their house. “Hey. Did you give Nick a key?” She nudged Anna with her elbow.

“Oh yeah. About 2 weeks ago.” Anna smiled.

Jessa relaxed visibly. Nick was standing in the kitchen when they walked in the door. “Welcome home ladies!” He grinned, showing off the meal laid out on the table.

“Oh my god…Nick Carter can cook.” Anna grinned as they dumped their stuff on the couch and practically attacked the table.

Nick squeezed Jessa close to him, wondering if all his cooking and frequent dates to the local café had caused her to gain a few pounds. She was feeling softer around the waist. “How was work?”

Jessa laughed at her boyfriend. “Well my domesticated other half, it went well.”

Nick pretended to pout and stuffed a piece of lettuce into Jessa’s mouth. “I see how it is…I slave away at a stove all day to put this meal out and now I’m ‘domesticated’.” He fake cried.

Jessa rolled her eyes at Nick but her grin gave it away. “Oh poor baby. I should make up for that with some…salad!” She stuffed a piece of lettuce into Nick’s mouth in retaliation.

Anna laughed at the two. It was becoming comfortable having Nick around the house, cooking meals and offering to help them out when they’d each had a long day at the spa. “Ok children. Eat, not playtime.” She scolded playfully.

Nick helped Jessa pack for their trip, stealing kisses from her every chance he got. “Nick…” She groaned, half-heartedly attempting to push him away. “If we don’t get this done we won’t get much sleep.”

Nick sighed. He’d expected her to be grumpy a little with the lack of sleep she’d gotten lately. “Ok, ok. I’ll stop.” He said, backing away.


	28. Chapter 27

After making a day pit stop in Atlanta to see Leighanne, Brian and Baylee, Nick insisted on introducing Jessa to Kevin while they were all home in Kentucky for the holidays.

The kitchen sparkled, and the dinner table looked like a tornado of food had hit it. Kristin had decided that cooking dinner was out of the question and so she’d called in to one of her favorite take out places and ordered what she’d hoped was enough food for them. Mason was eating like a little pig because he was growing and Kristin figured Nick was still eating as if he was on tour.

The evening flew by quickly with Kevin warming up quickly to Jessa’s easy going nature. Nick had to smile. Mason had taken an instant liking to Jessa as well, showing her some of his favorite toys and clapping delightedly when she started playing with them as well. By the time Brian, Leighanne and Baylee showed up the next day, Nick and Kevin had already gone over some of the side projects that Kevin had been playing with in the studio, and Kristin, Mason and Jessa had gone out for a walk in the woods near the acreage.

Brian joined Kevin and Nick in the studio while Leighanne got their things settled in their room. Kristin, Mason and Jessa came back an hour later. The weather was almost perfect for a New Year’s party. The area had been unseasonably warm all fall and early winter. The holiday seemed to go by in the blink of an eye and Nick and Jessa found themselves surrounded by bodyguards in London as they emerged from the airport a few weeks after being in Kentucky.

2010 flew by it seemed as they went from venue to venue on the European leg of the tour. Rumors started flying that the late 80’s boy band New Kids on the Block, who had gotten back together and recorded an album in 2007 with a tour in 2008, were in talks with the Backstreet Boys about doing a tour together.

By the time they flew back to the States, Jessa and Nick had celebrated their first real anniversary as a couple. Jessa kept in touch with Anna as frequently as she could, finding out that she and JC had decided to try dating. Lance had become vocally supportive of both Nick and Jessa’s relationship and JC and Anna’s relationship.

Not long after the tour ended, rumors began floating around that New Kids on the Block were seen going in and out of a recording studio, and that a new album would be produced with the Boys.

“I’m sorry, Nick. I have to stay here and work at the spa.” Jessa sighed as she switched the phone from one ear to the other. The food on the counter lay forgotten as she tried to get Nick to listen to her.

“But Jessa, I want you out here.” Nick whined.

Jessa sighed, frustrated. “Nick, you do realize that if I go out there, not only do I lose my job, but we’d have the paparazzi swarming us out there, which would completely throw off the covers over the NKOTB reunion.”

“I know that baby, but I miss you.” Nick replied stubbornly.

Jessa grew more frustrated by Nick’s baby like tone of voice. “No. End of discussion.” She said firmly.

“That’s mean.” Nick huffed.

“I’m sorry Nick. Listen, I love you, but I’ve got to go. I have a short shift in a half hour.” Jessa hung up the phone before Nick could reply.

She ignored the buzzing of her cell phone while she finished making a meal for herself. The house seemed so empty with Nick gone, as well as Anna having moved out to live with JC. Jessa was glad that things between JC and Anna were going well.

The buzzing of her phone finally stopped. Jessa frowned. While she wouldn’t classify it as a fight, she knew Nick would. He’d be all mad at her for ignoring his phone calls and finally realize hours later after talking to Brian or Howie that Jessa really was right and he’d call back and leave a sweet voicemail apology. It wasn’t the first time since the end of the tour that Nick had pouted, begged or pleaded for her to come see him in whatever location they recorded at for this new collaboration album they were putting together with New Kids.

Jessa sighed. Wiping down the counter, she shook her head and grabbed her things before locking the house up and going to work.

*LA*

“Fuck! I hate it when she does that!” Nick tossed his phone onto the bed beside him. He groaned and rubbed his hands over his face. He knew she was right. The moment Jessa would be spotted getting off the plane in LA, the paparazzi would be swarming all over her to find a glimpse of what Nick was doing, or what the other Boys were doing. Even if they weren’t busting out top 10 hits on the radio these days, the Boys were still a hot commodity on the gossip circuit.

A knock sounded on the door. Nick groaned, looking at his phone. It was time to head to the studio to work on the new song. He grabbed his phone, wallet and room key before heading to open the door.

“Ready to bust out some gut wrenching vocals?” Jordan Knight asked, a smile on his face.

“Yeah.” Nick nodded, not returning the older man’s smile.

“Something wrong?” Jordan asked as they walked to the elevator where Nick’s bodyguard waited for them.

Nick shook his head. “Frustrated.” He said. “I want my girlfriend to come out to visit since we’ve been here for 2 weeks and she’s refused every single time I’ve asked.”

Jordan nodded. “Well she works a full time job doesn’t she?” He asked as they rode the elevator to the lobby.

“Yeah she works full time at the spa in our town.” Nick replied. “I’ve told her that she could move into my house if her own bills were too much for her to handle without a roommate.”

“So she has a place she’s living at and paying bills on her own while working full time.” Jordan said. “And she refuses to come see you?”

“Yeah. I know she says that its best she doesn’t come out so we don’t get media attention and reveal the project we’re working on, and I know she’s right but,” Nick sighed, “She could come out for a day or two so we could spend some time together.”

Jordan smiled. “Look at it from her point of view though Nick, if you can. You’re famous, she’s not. If things go south between you two, she wants to keep her life as intact as possible by keeping her job and her place to live. You would keep going on with being a Backstreet Boy without having to think too much about it.” Jordan pointed out as they walked out to the car waiting for them. “If she relied on you and became the ‘trophy’ girlfriend and you two broke up, she would have a hard time finding a job to support herself.”

Nick looked at Jordan. He knew that Jordan’s older brother had gained some of his anonymity back after being a part of NKOTB in his teens. But fame had the rest of the band hooked, especially for Joey McIntyre and Jordan. They had both released solo albums around the same time to moderate success in the late 90’s. Danny Wood had chosen to stay out of the spotlight until the last part of 99 when he decided to start performing again. Donnie Wahlberg had had the most successful solo career as an actor out of all of them. He took in what Jordan said. “I guess I haven’t really thought of it that way.” Nick said slowly.

Jordan smiled again. “Sometimes it helps to put yourself in the other persons’ shoes.” He said wisely as they arrived at the small studio where the others were.

Nick had tried calling Jessa again before they really started recording and got her voice mail. He really did hate it when she ignored his phone calls. The more he thought about what Jordan had said in the car, the more he realized that Jessa really wasn’t trying to be selfish or mean and picking a fight just because she could.

Nick left a voice mail this time, telling Jessa he was sorry and that she was right as usual. He didn’t mention his talk with Jordan on the voicemail, preferring instead to keep the message simple and to the point.

Halfway through the recording session, the two boy bands had a short meeting to discuss the remainder of their recording schedule. Brian was getting restless being in LA and wanted a break to go back to Atlanta to visit Leighanne and Baylee, and most of the group knew Nick wanted to see Jessa. Various members of New Kids also had loved ones or other business ventures they wanted to check in on, so they all decided that they would finish out the week in LA, head to their respective homes for a few days while getting a recording studio in Orlando to do another 2 weeks of recording. Nick felt much more relaxed after their meeting and the second half of recording went smoother than the first half had been.

Once the recording was finished for the day, Nick resisted calling Jessa again. He didn’t want to be that type of guy who became clingy to his girlfriend just because he missed her. Instead, Nick decided to go work out to vent out his sexual frustration in the hotel gym and wait for Jessa to call him. 


	29. Chapter 28

It was 3 days later when Nick and Jessa spoke again. Every time Nick had tried calling her, she was at work and wasn’t getting off until close. Nick was trying hard to understand that Jessa needed the work, but grew increasingly frustrated the less they talked.

The day they finally talked, Nick made the mistake of asking Jessa if she needed any help to pay the bills.

“What the hell brought this on?” Jessa huffed into the phone. She’d been happy to hear the group was taking a break for family time and recording closer to home for almost everyone.

“Well, you’ve been working so much that I wondered if you needed any help.” Nick gulped as he heard Jessa’s frustration in her voice

“God no Nick. What the hell? First you’re begging me to come visit you, and now you want to give me money I don’t need to pay my bills?” Jessa felt a migraine coming on. “I am doing just fine with my bills. I’ve been working extra hours because I am saving money to go back to school.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” Nick asked. His bodyguard returned with a cup of coffee for him. Nick nodded as he took the cup.

Jessa sighed. “Because you’ve been busy with the group.” She paced in the living room, the emptiness of the house doing nothing to soothe her frustration.

Nick suddenly felt like an ass. “I’m sorry.” He said. “I don’t mean to start arguments with you.”

Jessa shook her head. “I think we are both frustrated and it doesn’t help that we are both working all the time.”

“This is true.” Nick agreed. His bodyguard motioned to him to wrap the call up. “Listen, my flight doesn’t get in until late tomorrow night but I think we need to have an “us” day when I get back.”

“I’ll see if I can get a day off.” Jessa said, glad that this latest misunderstanding seemed to be resolved.

After hanging up the phone, Jessa grabbed her keys. She needed a walk on the beach. She loved Nick, but the fact they were fighting over stupid little things was starting to build past a frustration level. She wondered what would happen when she told Nick she was applying to a nursing school that was not in Florida.

Anna had settled in with JC in New York in the middle of the year, which put a damper on the charms that Vero Beach had held for Jessa. They’d only been dating 6 months when Anna had made her decision to move in with him. Jessa had supported their decision wholeheartedly as she loved both JC and Anna dearly. Even the 3 years she’d stopped all contact with JC hadn’t put a damper on their friendship. Jessa stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jacket. It wasn’t that she envied JC and Anna for how close their relationship was, she felt saddened by the fact that they were both able to have a semi-normal relationship without the touring, recording and fan encounters that seemed to crowd the time Nick and Jessa spent together.

Jessa found an old log that served as a bench on the beach and sat down. If she really thought about it, she was lonely. She didn’t want to admit it, but ever since she’d left home, she’d felt something missing in her life. She didn’t think it was a longing for family, but for people that knew and understood her like what a true close knit family would feel like. Jessa stared at the ocean for a while, trying to collect her thoughts.

Jessa’s phone signaled a new email had been received. Checking her phone, she smiled. The desire to change her life and stop being lonely had started with risking her heart on Nick. Now she’d be changing her career in hopes of having more free time and people whom she could get to know outside of the small circle of friends she already had.

Jessa dialed a number, the smile on her face banishing all thoughts of frustration away. “Hey Anna. I got in.”

Anna squealed. “So when do you start?”

“Not until next August, so I have time to pack, find a place to live and a job.” Jessa said, standing up and heading back towards town.

“Nick still doesn’t know you applied to nursing school does he?” Anna asked.

“He knows I am saving money to go back to school but he doesn’t know for what.” Jessa admitted. “I haven’t told him many details. We’ve barely been talking the last week.”

Anna clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “When does he come back from LA?”

“They decided to come back tomorrow and finish recording in Orlando after a week break.” Jessa said. “I plan on telling him while he’s home.”

Anna’s heart ached for Jessa. Anna felt bad that she’d left Jessa all alone in Florida when she’d moved in with JC but now that Jessa was moving to Boston, she’d be closer to visit. “Well I hope things go ok when you tell him.” Anna said.

“Me too.” Jessa sighed. “It’s weird. I mean, I love him, but is it wrong that a part of me thinks that he’ll eventually move on to some other chick who can follow him around like a lost puppy dog but yet be able to be independent as well?”

Anna chewed on her lip as she contemplated what Jessa was saying. “I don’t think it’s wrong. It’s the fear of the unknown.” She said.

The conversation ended a short time later when Jessa arrived at her house and Anna had to go to work. She’d been lucky to get a job at a doctor’s office doing front desk work thanks to the years she’d been at the spa.

Jessa decided to take a shower before she started making plans and lists of things that needed to be done in the next year before she went off to nursing school.


	30. Chapter 29

*2 days later*

Nick stared at Jessa in disbelief. Here he’d thought she would be going to Orlando or Miami for school, not Boston. “So you’re moving?”

“Probably not for a while.” Jessa tried to place a hand on Nick’s arm but he shied away.

“Why’d you chose Boston?” He asked, crossing his arms defensively across his chest.

Jessa had a bad feeling about this argument. “I actually applied to several schools in Florida and some in Atlanta but they all rejected my application.” She took a deep breath. “I tried New York, LA, even San Francisco but got nowhere.” She said. “It’s not like Boston was a first choice. I wanted to stay closer so things wouldn’t get complicated but it didn’t happen.”

Nick threw up his hands. “So you’re moving to Boston and giving up this life to do nursing?” He growled, anger evident in his voice.

“Nick.” Jessa frowned. “I want to do more than just massage people for the rest of my life. Truth be told, my hands are starting to hurt when I give massages, and that means that my time as a massage therapist is starting to wind down.”

Nick looked at Jessa’s hands. The last time he’d seen them, they had still seemed tiny compared to his. Now he could see that they seemed a bit puffier than before. He hung his head. “God what is wrong with me?” He asked finally, sinking down into the couch he’d abandoned when Jessa told him about her schooling choice.

Jessa moved to his side, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s not just you Nick. I think it’s both of us.” She said softly. “I’m not so used to having such a caring man in my life and to be honest you’re not used to not having me around all the time.”

Nick nodded, his shoulders sagging. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Talk with me about things.” She placed a hand over where his heart was. “If you feel a ball of unease, worry, anger, whatever that involves me, talk to me about it.” Jessa told him. “I worry that our constant fighting lately will hurt both of us.”

Nick looked at Jessa. He noticed the tired look to her face and as he looked closely, he noticed that not only had their fights been taking a toll on Jessa, but working hard to save up for school had taken a toll as well. She looked tired and he realized that she must have lost some weight because her features were more sharply defined than before. He hugged Jessa close to him, worried suddenly for her.

The week flew by faster than either Nick or Jessa wanted. After their much needed talk the night after Nick got back from LA, it seemed the fighting had stopped completely. Nick had taken to heart what they’d talked about and was doing well with it, and Jessa seemed to feel better as she started losing the tired look she had.

Nick spent more time at Jessa’s house than his own during that week, helping her look online at places in Boston that she’d be able to afford while going to school. She’d updated her resume and had looked at several jobs in the Boston area without much luck.

Nick went back to recording, but this time was able to handle it better since he was closer to home. Before either of them knew it, the collaboration was done and the songs they’d recorded had sounded good enough that they didn’t have to throw out hardly any this time.

The work on putting together a tour and getting dates and venues booked along with choreography for the single they’d all managed to agree on took more time than the recording process for the album. Nick spent considerably more time with Jessa during this time period since much of the work that needed to be done was on the administrative side and they were still contracted with Jive, so the record label handled most of the work.

“So, are you ready for this?” Nick asked Jessa as they waited in the private terminal area for the flight to Boston that Nick had managed to arrange during one of their off weeks from choreography.

Rumors of the tour with New Kids had already surfaced and while everyone was under strict instruction to keep details under wraps, Nick had decided to make some headlines of his own. He’d started recording new songs for a second solo record before the collaboration with New Kids had started, and was getting ready to start promoting it while things were being work out with the New Kids collaboration.

Jessa smiled at Nick. Their relationship was doing better than before and she felt more secure that they would be able to manage her being in school while he would be touring. “I feel like my legs are going to give out but I’ll be ok.” She said.

Nick smiled. “If anything, Jonathan said he knew some good places in Boston so if we don’t find anything, we’re supposed to call him.”

Jessa nodded. “That’s good to know.” She said. She was nervous that she’d not be able to find a place to live. Nick had offered to help her out and buy a house for her to take care of while she was in school, but she’d declined.

Once they arrived in Boston, Jessa took the lead on the hunt for a place to live that was close to the university where she’d be going. There were dorms on the campus for students to live in, but both Johnny and the PR people at Jive had shot down the idea since people would quickly figure out the new student on campus was dating a Backstreet Boy.

“Nope, definitely not this one.” Jessa sighed, crossing another place off her list. “I think we are going to have to call Jonathan.”

Nick pulled his hat down further on his head as he spotted some girls not far from where their rented car was parked. “You sure?” He asked, peeking over her shoulder at the list.

Most of the places had been crossed off. They were either already rented, too expensive for her to pay for the place, or were in an area that Nick definitely didn’t feel comfortable being around. Jessa leaned against Nick, soaking in the warmth of his body heat. “Yeah. We can call him on the way to this last place.” She turned and snuggled into Nick’s arms.

The last place turned out to be a dud as well, both in terms of rental price and location. Nick pulled out the phone and dialed Jonathan’s number, hoping things would turn out better.

Jessa sighed. If she didn’t find a place, the hopes of her being able to go to nursing school were looking slim. She’d already found a job that had been willing to wait till she found a place of residence in Boston, working as a front desk receptionist at a local hospital. The job had been a surprising offer because Jessa had definitely lacked a few of the requirements needed, but they were also willing to put money toward her schooling, which would help stretch her savings.

“Let me see your pen and paper.” Nick had been talking to Jonathan about what type of housing Jessa was looking for. She handed the paper to him and watched him write down a few addresses.

“Thanks Jon, I’ll see you over there in a few minutes.” Nick hung up the phone and programmed the first address into the GPS in the car.

“Jonathan has some good leads?” Jessa asked.

“Yeah.” Nick smiled.

Jessa raised an eyebrow at him. “What do you two have up your sleeves?” She asked.

“Nothing.” Nick protested, trying hard, and failing, to keep a straight face. “You’ll find out when we get there.”

Jessa folded her arms and pretended to scowl at Nick, but laughed instead as he failed to keep his face straight. “You can’t keep anything from me Carter can you?” She giggled.

Nick chuckled. “I guess not.” He grinned. “But you will be surprised.” He added as they turned down a street near the University.


	31. Chapter 30

“Hey Jonathan.” Nick greed the older man as they walked up to the house that he was standing at.

Jessa hadn’t said a word since she saw the outside. She knew based on looks alone that she wouldn’t be able to afford this place. Jonathan saw the look on her face and chuckled. “Jessa, don’t worry about what the outside looks like and come see the inside.”

Jessa knew that Nick and Jonathan were up to something but neither of them said a word as Jonathan told her about the house they were at. In fact, he didn’t even ask questions about if she wanted any of the 4 places he showed them.

“So which one do you think you liked the best?” Jonathan asked, as they sat at a coffee shop near campus, enjoying a break from the slight chill in the air. Fall was quickly closing in on Boston and it would soon be winter before they knew it. And Jessa would have several months to get used to Boston weather after being in Florida for 5 years.

“That first one you showed around the corner.” Jessa said, thinking for a moment. “It’s within perfect walking distance of both the campus and work.” At this news, Jonathan and Nick smiled at the same time. Jessa raised an eyebrow at both of them. “Ok, both of you, spill whatever you’ve concocted up.”

“Uh…well you see…” Nick looked from Jessa to Jonathan and smiled sheepishly.

“I actually own the first house.” Jonathan said. “I’ve been looking for a good renter for a while for it. If I don’t have it rented by the end of the year, my business partner wants to sell the place.” He said. “The others belong to my business partner.”

Jessa laughed. “I’m not surprised at all.” She said, smiling. “So then, what price are we talking for rent?”

Jonathan almost choked on his drink. “Nick, man…this one’s a keeper. She gets right down to business when she wants something.”

Nick chuckled. “Yeah I have to agree with that.” He said, a twinkle in his eyes.

Jonathan and Jessa quickly got to business settling on a rental price. It was much lower than Jessa was currently paying for her house in Vero Beach, and the terms of the lease were very much in her favor. She’d be able to have pets if she wanted, providing she was able to repair any damage to the house if she left. If she ended up getting a roommate, the rent would only increase by $140 a month, though she was allowed to charge the roommate any amount she wanted. The only bills she’d be responsible for was electricity as Jonathan insisted on paying for the other utilities even though Jessa had protested that he was being way too generous.

Jonathan insisted on handing over the keys to her new place, even though she wouldn’t start paying rent for another month. “This way you can figure out what you want to buy to put in the house while you are here before you start moving.” Jonathan said before they parted ways.

Nick drove back to the house. Jessa walked around inside the 3 bedroom, 2 bath home. The kitchen was huge with an island in the middle. The master bedroom had a private bath. One of the spare bedrooms was also on the second floor and the first floor boasted the second bathroom off to right of the third bedroom, right next to the laundry room and dining room. The living room was the smallest non-bedroom area of the house, but boasted a nice looking fireplace.

“I can definitely think of a few things you need in here.” Nick grinned suggestively at Jessa as they stood in the living room.

“Only you Nick, would think of that.” Jessa playfully shoved Nick.

Nick laughed and held her close. “I hate the idea that you’ll be so far away from my house now, but I know this is the direction you want to go and I fully support you.” He said.

“This means you get to come stay at my nice place whenever you want.” Jessa grinned up at Nick.

“So that means I get a key?” Nick asked, eyes hopeful.

Jessa laughed. “Yes, you get a key.” She said.

Nick laughed and pulled Jessa’s head to rest against his chest. “Sweet. Let’s go get that key made and then maybe some furniture.”

“You are not going to spend a fortune on buying things for the house.” Jessa wagged a finger at Nick, knowing full well he’d end up spending more than she wanted no matter what she said.

Sure enough, Nick somehow knew exactly what Jessa would need in her new home that she wouldn’t be bringing with her stuff from Florida and had managed to convince Jessa that she wouldn’t be able to afford some of the items after moving halfway up the country. Jessa spent time getting the electricity put in her name and a time when it would be turned on. Since they had planned on a 2 day search, they had booked a hotel.

Long after Jessa had fallen asleep, Nick lay in bed next to her, wide awake. Much of the fall and winter he’d be finalizing his solo album, shooting a video and then going over to Japan sometime in either January or February to start a short promotions tour for some of the Asian fans. Add to that the various appearances that the Boys would be officially booked at and then surprise the masses with bringing New Kids out on stage with them to perform the new single they’d be releasing.

Nick stared at the back of Jessa’s head as he contemplated his next move. He wasn’t ready to pop the question, in fact, a long way away from even thinking about that next step in their relationship. He and Jessa had had a long talk about their ambitions and life goals the night she’d told him about nursing school. He just hoped that in 3 and a half years they’d still be going strong as a couple. Nick knew from experience with his ex’s that good things don’t always last. ‘ _But she’s not famous._ ’ Nick thought suddenly. While he’d never really thought about it much, the fact that Jessa had been able to retain some anonymity in the year and a half since they’d started dating, well 2 years in the media’s eyes, that spoke volumes about her character.

‘ _I wonder what this means if she can stay flying under the radar until after she graduates from nursing college.’_ Nick thought. One thing he could probably count on with the house she was renting from Jonathan was that the gate had a security code on it, and the fact that no one would think to look for Nick Carter in Boston of all places. He could probably enjoy some down time without the fans breathing down his neck for once. A smile crossed Nick’s face as he drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh...sorry for the long wait in between updates. This brings the story up to the most current chapter I've written. Please let me know what you think!


	32. The end

It seems, that over time, all good things must come to an end. Weather it was the grueling pace set by nursing school, or the surge in popularity that came after the New Kids collaboration, the return of Kevin to the group, and the resulting album and world tour that took 2 years to complete, Jessa and Nick found themselves drifting apart emotionally.

In hindsight, it had been a long time coming, though Jessa supposed Nick was more shaken up about the breakup than she was, having come back from a 2 year world tour to spend some downtime with his girlfriend, only to find Jessa had entirely forgotten when he’d been scheduled to come in and had been out with a group of friends she’d made while in school. Their communication while he’d been on the tour had waned from phone calls over skype to voicemails and text messages till they were barely texting each other once a week due to their schedules.

The day they ended their relationship, Jessa kissed Nick on the cheek and wished him well as he walked out the front door, promising him with a smile that there were no hard feelings and that she would always be a friend with a shoulder for him to lean on and an ear to listen to him whenever he needed it.

Not surprisingly, the other members of the group were saddened to hear of their breaking, texting Jessa their sadness and promises of staying friends, even though Jessa knew deep down that they would eventually all stop talking or texting each other until it became almost an afterthought.

It came almost as a surprise when the news broke one morning of their breakup when Nick had been caught out in LA with some fitness trainer named Lauren, though by now, the only photos the paparazzi had of Jessa was way back when she’d first joined Nick on a tour.

Jessa had moved closer to Anna and JC, living in a cozy one bedroom apartment not more than a few blocks from her new workplace as a nurse, and had only found out about the news when another nurse had commented that she was surprised that the paparazzi still followed the Boys around in LA.

A small part of Jessa ached at the news, as she’d stayed single after the breakup, even when there had been others interested in her not long after she’d graduated, but another part of her was glad to see Nick had moved on, and seemed to be happier than she remembered him the last time they’d been together before their breakup.

Putting the thoughts of her ex-boyfriend out of her mind, Jessa went back to work and the days flew by again. She’d barely thought of Nick until one day out of the blue he’d left a text asking if they could talk in person.

So she’d set up a date and time she wasn’t working, wondering why after 2 years post-break up Nick would want to talk.

“I asked Lauren to marry me.” Nick confessed when they met up at a small bistro café not far from Jessa’s home.

“Congratulations!” Jessa smiled, genuinely happy that Nick had found his forever.

“Lauren wanted to come tell you, but she had commitments that she couldn’t get out of.” Nick said as Jessa takes a sip of the tea she’d ordered. “She’s always been curious about you.”

Jessa shook her head. “I’m just one of the ex’s.” She says slowly. “Why would she be curious about me of all people?”

Nick looks down at the table before his eyes lift and meet hers. “I was very honest with her when Lauren and I started dating, and I wholly admit that while being with you, and even a little bit after our breakup, I hadn’t realized how much of a better person I’d become until AJ pointed it out that I hadn’t gone back to any of my old dating habits, that I’d chosen to go to the gym and work out instead of pining over our breakup and being single.” Nick admitted.

Even though Jessa was slightly skeptical over how curious this Lauren was over her, it apparently didn’t show, and Jessa somehow found herself agreeing to meet Lauren the next break the other woman had in her busy schedule, taking time off from her own job to fly out to LA.

Lauren, as it turns out, was not the bubbly fitness geek that Jessa had imagined before they met. Instead, she was a very bright, intelligent woman who’d warmly welcomed Jessa as she’d stepped out of the taxi at Nick’s new LA home (he’d sold the one he’d owned in Vero Beach not long after their breakup).

Jessa and Lauren hit things off surprisingly well, and a weird sort of friendship formed between them after the visit, surprising Jessa a few months later when the invitation to Nick and Lauren’s wedding came in the mail.

Unfortunately, Jessa had to decline the invite, calling Lauren to explain the circumstances as she was the maid of honor for Anna and JC’s wedding, the pair finally deciding after 5 plus years together to make things official and the weddings happened to be on the same weekend.

And, even though, months later, when the news broke about Lauren’s pregnancy, and how excited Nick was to become a father, Jessa would look back on her time with Nick and smile, her heart lighter with no regrets about what she’d done and how she’d come about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t how I foresaw ending this story, but my love for BSB and the fandom has waned over the last year and a half, and my involvement in the Korean pop music fan fic scene has skyrocketed through 3 different fan fics I’ve written in the past 2 years (2 of them being NaNoWriMo projects) that have soared in popularity more so than the BSB ones. 
> 
> Granted, I’ll always support the Backstreet Boys, but as I move forward in my private life, and continue to grow by leaps and bounds in the fan fiction/writing world, I find that my passion for writing BSB has become somewhat of a nostalgic thing for me.
> 
> Sadly, this is the permanent goodbye as a BSB fan fic writer, though the decision did not come about with a light heart. BSB has been such a staple of my life for the past 18 years, ever since my father passed away, that at one time I never imagined that I’d ever lose the burning torch for the Boys, and I had promised myself that I would never become one of those authors who abruptly ends a story because the inspiration to write it is gone.
> 
> With that being said, I won’t delete my BSB works, nor am I ashamed of them as looking back reminds me of where I came from as a writer. I will never, ever be ashamed of being a fan fiction writer no matter where life take me, and I hope one day to hone my skills and craft enough to eventually move from writing fan fiction to creating my own fictional works of art and characters and become published someday.
> 
> And if you feel the need to take a gander at some of the other stories I've written, feel free! I'm particularly proud of my BTS AU series so I highly recommend checking it out, even if the names of the idols confuse you.
> 
> Till we meet again my friends….


End file.
